A Fiendish Threat..Hank III’s latest punk project…reprint from Steel Notes Magazine

fiendishGentle Readers,

This is a reprint. We shared our last interview with Hank with you and this one appears in the recent edition of Steel Notes Magazine, http://www.steelnotesmagazine.com where we also do some writing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like seeing Hank III play live, reviewing his records can be challenging. At the shows, he will play three, sometimes four sets of music, each a different style – ranging from country to hardcore thrash metal to doom metal to his own progeny, ‘hellbilly’ and maybe even back to country again. A mini-festival of his own, he presents concertgoers with four sounds, four feels, four genres and (the most challenging for the audience) four hours or more of playing each night.

While you listen, the songs absorb you and you feel what Hank feels.

It’s the same way with his records. In September 2011, he released four discs in one day, as three different LP packages. Each had its own sound and texture. This time around, He hit us with three discs, two on the country/hellbilly Brothers of the 4X4 and also a new venture – this time into punk with A Fiendish Threat.

On the latter, he uses a different singing voice and the song structures are reminiscent of the original punk of the seventies. A completely different sound is achieved here by using all acoustic instruments like the doghouse bass, played by Zach Shedd, and acoustic guitar (wired for distortion and fuzz added, of course) on the classic three chord compositions. Actually, it sounds like he throws a minor fourth chord in here and there.

A personal favorite is Different From the Rest, a true example of classic punk form led by strong vocals, with Hank singing and playing acoustic at the same time, as he did on the whole project, adding his own fast, furious drumming while mixing it. It’s not just the punk sound that runs throughout but also the attitude as stated in the lyrics and titles, as in There’s Another Road. Kicking off with a nice bit of slide-down-the-string feedback, the galloping drums on it hit like an AK47 and keep strafing the listener into Broke Jaw. Broke Jaw, in itself, is unlike any other punk song before it. It sticks to the standard form but here is where the hellbilly-style instrument line-up really hits home. After nailing the vocals and beat, the vocals end and what almost sounds like a steel guitar on acid fills the lead. No steel guitar is listed so it was either coaxed out of the fiddle, banjo, bass or acoustic, perhaps…but the effect is wild! It evokes Television’s Marquee Moon in the way the notes swirl around each other to a climax. It is an excellent song that would have blown the whole NYC set off its feet in 1977.

Similarly, on Watchin U Suffer we hear what could be gypsy fiddle crossed with police siren during instrumental breaks near the end. This also separates them from the rest of the punk genre because these instrumental forays add time to the standard two minute or three minute formula. Then again, it’s not 1977 anymore and this is a fresh new look at a genre people do not attempt that much anymore. Punk progressed but the original style was purest and this is old-school punk done in a completely new way.

The only problem with the next song, Face Down, is that it has to follow the tremendous instrumental at the end of Breakin Free, which you have to hear to believe.

In some ways, A Fiendish Threat is like a cross between Rocket To Russia and The White Album. There is so much to it, so much diversity. Listen to the opening of New Identity and you wonder if Roy Rogers ever took peyote. If that last line does not make sense, listen to the song. To imagine the first few notes going into what they do…well, it’s an adventure in listening.

It’s one thing to jazz up country by adding hardcore to it but boosting punk with a shot of country can only be a stroke of genius…because it actually works.

Billy Contreras comes on strong with the fiddle throughout but especially on Feel The Sting. He moves in and out of the melody, runs along with the vocal, creates tension and is simply extraordinary.

On Fight My Way – the title says it all. Always keeping lyrics relevant, this covers the angst-filled side of the emotions while packing a punch and even holds it’s own after the tremendous finish on Feel The Sting…but then Full On knocks you out of your seat with the sheer strength of the beat..

Daniel Mason, Hank’s main man banjo, is here but this listener could not place the sound of the banjo. A hellbillied-up banjo is liable to make a lot of noise so maybe he is hidden in the backbeat…we’ll have to listen closer.

Your Floor is more doom than punk. He sounds a lot like Ozzy on the vocals here. He must have snuck those Black Sabbath LPs back in after his mom threw them away. The second from last song, it doesn’t really seem to fit the rest, although it is a great song for the style it is. We return to the old school on the final selection and title track It, too, seems to drift to the Ozzy voice at times, as if he were turning the record in a new direction right at the end. With much highly-experimental music, often we don’t ‘get it’ the first time we listen because of the foreign aspect. It grows on us.

These songs grab you with the beat and then slowly insinuate themselves upon you as you notice new details here and there.

This is one of the most original ‘punk’ records to be released in many years.

To get a copy, buy one directly from Hank at http://www.hank3.com. While you are there check out the videos of his new stuff while you wait. Ours arrived in two days.

Don’t use another service when you can have it sent straight from Hank’s Haunted Ranch in Tennessee!

While you’re there, get a copy of Brothers of the 4X4 – we will be reviewing that one next month!

Leave a comment

Filed under culture, essays, music, news, pop music, related subjects, roots music, tom waits, Uncategorized

Another Interview with Hank III about his recent work…from Steel Notes

hankthanksgiving2012Gentle Readers,

This is a reprint. We shared our last interview with Hank with you and this one appears in the recent edition of Steel Notes Magazine, http://www.steelnotesmagazine.com where we also do some writing.

~
We had the pleasure of meeting Hank III in the wee hours of Thanksgiving morning in 2011, after watching him play for four and a half hours in a small club. Hank always plays long shows. He presents it as three or four HANK 3different acts, each playing a different genre. It used to be said that James Brown was the hardest working man in show business but Hank3 is no slouch.

The true depth of his talent is not yet known to most since many prefer only to consider his country side. There is much more to him than that. After fronting metal bands Assjack and 3 Bar Ranch between his country and hellbilly (his own version of hard country), he decided to work on a project which was in the more traditional punk rock mode. In between these he works on various experimental forms of music, as on his 2011 release Ghost To Ghost.

We had the chance to speak with him again recently and started y asking about the new punk project, A Fiendish Threat.

~

~‘A Fiendish Threat’ sounds much more ‘punk’ than your past hardcore and metal bands. The live version I heard sounded like the Ramones.

There is definitely a lot of Minor Threat influence, singing-wise, and of course The Misfits, Jane’s Addiction, Violent Sound and to me, I didn’t notice the Ramones as much until I started playing more live with the band.

When I am doing the record that’s one thing – but officially doing it onstage is another. It depends. Some nights the voice is just fine and some nights it’s a little harder to get to.

There is definitely a lot of influences throughout the recording.

~The drummer in the new videos looks different from the usual player.

I am playing drums all through the new record and my main drummer that I‘ve been with for twelve years (Shawn McWilliams), he basically played the country, the hellbilly and the Attention Deficit Domination parts of the show. He had rotator cuff surgery and he just didn’t come back and he put the surgery off for so long that it’s taking him twice as long to heal from it. So there’s a chance this year he might be coming back but that’s always a real hard position to fill, after you’ve been with a drummer that knows over a hundred and fifty of your songs and not having a set-list every night. But we did it. We pulled it off last year but he was definitely missed and we’re always hoping everyday that he going to be coming back soon.

Right now I’ve got a pretty good solid crew for the road and time will tell. I’ll be getting into the road mode here soon. I’m almost one hundred and seventy days on my end, way deep off into a project, so I know the road is just around the corner for me. It’s a totally different mindset.

~The last time we talked, you said you had a plan to tour for ten more years. Are you still on target?

It’s just hard to say what’s going to happen. I always said that I was going to tour the road until I was fifty and even my people at my business management would say, “You sure do need to charge more money for your live shows.”

I’m like, “Well, I don’t want to go there yet.”

So who knows what’ll happen? Maybe at fifty, I’ll raise my ticket prices a little bit or else I’ll be hanging it up. I don’t know. When I look at guys like Lemmy (from Motorhead) and Willie Nelson and Iggy Pop, guys that have just kept on doing it…it’s a good inspiration. And if I can still pull off the shows I want to, who knows? Maybe at fifty, if I can’t really pull off the show that I want to, maybe I’ll just do more of a laid back set and be doing the acoustic thing a little more but right know I’m always just trying to put on the longest show for a very affordable ticket price.

I started with a crew on the road in 1995 at five and seven dollars and now I am able to keep it at seventeen to twenty-four max…with the economy and everything I’ve just always tried to be affordable, you know?

~You sure give more miles per ticket. You played for four and a half hours the last time I saw you. I can’t remember seeing anybody play that long onstage before.

It’s always a challenge. Every tour is different. Even in the back of my mind I’m thinking, even though I’m in studio mode, realyl soon I’ve gotta start riding the bike and getting ready to lift stuff and all that getting the cardio going for it.

~You have the partier image but you can’t do what you do every night without taking care of yourself.

It’s strange. On one hand I’m really strong and on the other hand, I’m really weak. I kind of have both happening. When it’s on the road a lot of the time I’m just thinking of the show, the performance and trying to keep a good team morale. We all pitch in. We all do our best. We all load the trailer together and set up the gear together and break it all down.

That’s a lot of it. The reason for the thing about partying so much is when people come out to see the show I try not to bum ‘em out too bad or sing too many slow songs because I want a lot of the folks to come and forget about all their problems and enjoy the show and feel the different moods. So that’s always in the back of my mind on the drinking songs and all that stuff.

~I like them, like ‘My Drinking Problem’.

The guy who wrote My Drinking Problem was Randy Howard and I saw him on public access tv…somehow I got lucky enough to track him down. He was staying at a hotel in Nashville. I’ve done two of his songs: I Don’t Know and My Drinking Problem. He has the great outlaw raspy voice and has a record out. He is one of the few guys who’s songs I’ll sing. He’s like one of the unsung heroes to me…a songwriter and just his sound. He had that Georgia rebel outlaw kind of thing going on and his sound just stood out. It had a lot of the Allman Brothers in it…the Johnny Cash feel in it…the old seventies sound.

~You opened your first LP, Rising Outlaw, with’ I Don’t Know’, right?

Rising Outlaw was pretty difficult. You’ve got to understand how young I was. There were producers and engineers I was having to go against. They were trying work with me as much as they could but on the other hand they were trying to do the ‘Nashville way.’

It was great to have Dale Crover from Melvins come in and pick out whatever drum set he wanted and get to record on Music Row.

That was one of the highlights for me. I did my research and picked out all the songs…the Kostas one, which had Eddie Pleasant on one (Devil’s Daughter) and a Buddy Miller song (Lonesome For You). Some of those guys are still writing songs and some of the guys who were engineers on that record are totally done with music so…a lot has changed since that record but it definitely had its own sound. It only takes a little while to get your ‘feel’ under you, no matter what you are doing.

(Sound of his famous dog, Trooper is barking and Hank opens a door. His dog has been the subject of mroe than one song – an old tradition and very much Americana.)
~Is that Trooper?

Yeah…If I’m pacing around a little bit and they hear something knocking, they think somebody is at the door.

~How did you extended world tour go?

The touring was great but unfortunately the routing was really bad so the next time I have to do that. I’m going to have to get a lot more involved. If I hadn’t have been selling merch I would have taken a pretty big loss. All of that is because of routing. That is the only thing I’ve got to check on. Most of the festivals were fine. Of course, naturally when I do the heavier stuff a lot of folks will leave.

We did some bar shows and I would squeeze it in. If we had an hour, I would do forty minutes of country, two hellbilly songs, a doom song and then two sweet, sentimental kind of songs. It would be just long enough to see the folks react to it.

We also got to play a lot of, what I would say are, our home shows, like the bars where we don’t have a time limit and get to do whole show. It went good. The help over there this time was okay, too

~Does your audience age have a wide range there, as it does in the US?

In London, it was a pretty mixed crowd. London was a lot like the states, where I would go a hundred miles down the street and we would get twenty to a hundred people out and they were more middle-aged. When we played Amsterdam, that was all over the age genre with all kinds of folks coming out.

I keep in mind, when we are in certain festivals, if they’re more catered to a certain type of music and don’t want the heavier stuff I keep that in mind as well. Mainly it’s kind of different. It’s sort of like starting over for me there.

~What is up with the Re-InstateHank petition to get your grandfather back into the Grand Ol’ Opry?

Basically, all we can do is talk about it.

Really…we talk about it and sign the petition – but one day a position might change ‘up top’ on who is in charge of what. Whenever that position changes, you never know who might just say, “Oh, okay. We’re going to do some things different and let’s include having Hank Williams be back in the circle.”

A lot of it nowadays…I am not in tune with it but I do know what is on the Grand Ol’ Opry is a lot of pop stuff, a lot of bluegrass and then you go straight to the older folks.

It’s more of the loophole that if you’re dead you can’t be a member of the Grand Ol’ Opry. That in itself, as I’ve said before, is like you are not preserving history.

If Hank Senior is not part of the Opry then why is he on your website from the forties and why are the pictures still hanging up? It’s hard to say. Holly, my half-sister, she does a lot of work down there and knows a lot of those people where I, on the other hand, haven’t been there since I went to Earl Scruggs’ funeral. That was about it. The last time I said I would play there was the fiftieth anniversary of Hank’s passing, live on TV.

It’s not like I’m this great star or anything but I won’t be coming here to sing my songs until the right thing is done., if they are going to keep riding on him.

Tom Waits summed it up the best way that you can, as far as politics behind it and everything. It just goes back to one day that position may change and then something will happen. Every so often I hear that something is going to happen but then it goes away. Who knows?

~How did Waits sum it up?

He basically did a lot of research on the Opry and on the individuals that are involved with it right now and they are…well, it’s the ‘living’ part that gets in the way.

They’re saying, “Well, if he gets re-instated then how come this other guy can’t be?”

If people want to do the research, Tom Waits got to edit the 200th issue of Mojo Magazine and there is a good read on it.

The ‘top’ is singing back home.

I am not asking for a $90,000 statue.

I’m just asking for a little bit of respect and a ceremony one night to sing and say that we respect Hank Williams and would love to have him back in our circle.

One thing he says – on their website you will find Hank Williams Senior’s name among the names from the forties. So if he isn’t a member, why does the Grand Ol’ Opry’s website list him as one? There was really no response to that question so maybe it’s a misunderstanding. It’s not like Nashville doesn’t recognize the contributions of Hank Senior. It goes on and on. For someone to be a musician with as much clout and knowledge as Tom Waits has – to have him write about it was an honor.

~You have a lot of devil and Satanist symbols in your record art and merch. We noticed that Garth Brooks came back recently and wonder if you think he could maybe be the Anti-christ?

Laughs…well, there is a lot to be said for Garth Brooks. He is one of those guys that coul have just been a rock star and not been hands-on and just walked onstage but he went way deeper than that. In general, he was a good businessman. He was a guy that knew how Music Row worked, knew how the business worked. He was always doing lunch.

Whenever he got his hit songs and after he got a few tours, he was hands-on. He was a rigger and he was setting up a lot of stages. He was keeping himself busy. Out of that mentality, I have respect for him. I’ve never seen Garth Brooks live. I know how big career that he has and his creativity. Really, his creativity. He stuck to his guns. He was a rock and roll fan as well. He’s done stuff with Gene Simmons and all that. I can understand that maybe he just got bored and maybe he didn’t feel productive anymore and just wanted to get out there and start doing the music again.

~Do you take a truck on the road with you so you can go off-road to relax?

When I’m on the road it’s constant work. Once I’m in that mindset, I’ll barely get away at all. Even if I did get away, I’m so locked into the road that I can’t enjoy myself. Every once in a while we get a show – like last tour we did a fundraiser for a friend of mine who survived a really bad crash and it was on top of a mountain, forty minutes up the hill on a dirt road to get there. We basically all pulled together and did it. Every so often we get to do something like that.

That’s the closest I get because when I’m in work mode I don’t snap out of it until I get home. It’s like I’ve got to keep my guard up constantly. That’s just how it is. When I’m at home and not on the road it’s different.

At home, I get to have fun. When I was growing up that’s what we would do. My friend had a mobile home and the front yard was a mudpit and it was all ‘who makes it through and who gets stuck’. We had a bulldozer there to pull people out.

We’d go riding trails, just cruising around in the woods where there’s not any traffic and you don’t have to worry about running a bicyclist over or anything like that. It’s more an an outdoor adventure in itself. You’re cruising. That’s how I take an approach at it.

~Even the slow songs have a strong beat on ‘Brothers of the 4×4’.

I think that’s my rhythm cutting through because I’m playing the acoustic and Im playing the drums on it. The fourth song would be Farthest Away and the really deep song that is more slow is Deep Scars and then you have Loners4Life. To me those are the more old-school, deep country songs on the record.

It’s a challenge – playing light and in time and then doing the side stick like that…or doing the marching beat on I’m Not Broken Down, I’m Just Broke. That, in itself, is a little more tricky than you would expect also. Johnny Hiland, he’s the lead guitar layer I have on the last few of my records, he said, “Man, Shelton, nobody like you in Nashville has this kind of rhythm!” I can only say that it goes back to me playing the drums and playing acoustic guitar on it and having just a little bit of a different kind of drumbeat as opposed to most traditional drummers who are studio players around Nashville.

~Didn’t your grandfather also get static for turning up his bass to loud so it would sound like a drum?

We all know that he was sick and a little too drunk when he showed up for a performance and they said, “Hank you got to get your act together but for right now we’re going to have to let you go but you’re going to have to come back and redeem yourself. So he never did have the chance to redeem himself – but the rhythm, he had that rhythm.

Marty Stuart, when he watched me play, he said, “You know, Shelton, that’s your thing.”

In the early nineties, when I was playing more of the ‘ma and pa circuits,’ I had an older gentleman come to me and he says, “That style of guitar playing, that rhythm you got – that’s your sound…your niche.”

That helped quite a bit and a lot of the gallops and fast strumming and stuff like that has kind of been my thing although I still don’t know guitar theory…or I can write songs and record them and do all that stuff but I just don’t understand theory so I think that, in itself, sets it apart as well.

~Speaking of rhythm, the story about your grandfather turning up the bass so that it sounded like a drum, is that true?

I would consider a true story on the basis that he was playing rock and roll before rock and roll was. They did have electric instrument that they were having to go against, like the lap steel and then you’d have a tin-topped guitar player back in there, so of course, I’m singing and I need to hear the bass and all I hear is the steel guitar and we need to even the stage out. Some of the places had a PA system and some didn’t.

Listen to the song Move It On Over. That’s basically Rock Around The Clock before it was. There’s a reason there is a picture of Hank Williams in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I would probably say that’s true.

~Where is the best play to buy your music and merch?

Anything you want, the best place to get it is off of http://www.hank3.com . That’s the place to go. That’s where it’s family owned and operated and you know you are getting it out of Tennessee.
~
See the review of A Fiendish Threat in the CD review section and watch for a review of Brothers of the 4X4 in the next issue of Steel Notes!

this is a free blog and, as such, you must accept such things as typos, etc.

Leave a comment

Filed under culture, music, news, pop music, related subjects, roots music, tom waits, Uncategorized

The Approaching Evil of Corey Booker

evil
Concerned Citizens,

This is a short one but we did want you to skip back here a few blogs and remember the warning we gave about flagrant fatso Gov. Chris Cartman Christie putting former Newark Mayor Corey Booker in a NJ senator slot after the death of another old cheat. Just skip back about five or six posts and look for the fat guy.

We could not help but notice the cutesy-ootsey bald head getting off a plane with our Manchurian President, Baccarat Obama, a week ago or so.

Do remember that the basic cause for all this concern is what the late but great Amiri Baraka told us about Booker wanting to sell Newark’s water and water rights to a corporate entity and other devious reason Booker is not a good man.
We wondered why he was on the plane with the Chief but we did a quick search to see the once close friends have had a rift between them. In fact, one thing we found was a Huffington Post report noting that Booker spelled Obama’s name wrong on a list of NJ delegates. The two are at odds but how did the city mayor get to be at odds with the Prez so fast?

Why?
Do you wonder why?
Why?

Just remember that we warned you first when looking for guidance in the future…

this is a free blog and, as such, may contain typos….

Leave a comment

Filed under business and finance, culture, essays, news, Uncategorized

very short review of new Chuck E. Weiss record…for amazon reviews, really…

ImageGentle readers,

You need to check this out….

Red Beans and Weiss…new LP by Chuck E. Weiss

take a deep trek through american roots music, knuckleheads, pee pee houses, nazi death camps, buddhist teachings and more!!!
sample it and see!!!!!!!!! forget about Tom Waits and Johnny Depp being on the project – Chuck is the Man!
i heard this online before it was released and ordered it. it is almost like a companion to ‘Extremely Cool’…maybe better…
this is such a fantastic record, you don’t know what to be most fascinated by next.
some songs are searing R&R and some, like ‘Shushie’…would be a wonderful soft song for just about anybody to cover…others just blow you away, like ‘Bomb the Tracks,’ which comes on like an all out rock and roller and addresses cultural issues like why we didn’t bomb the tracks the trains used to take Jews to concentration camps in WW2 (which IS a good question)…the lyrics here are unreal…he sums up the basic tenets of Buddhism in two lines of lyrics in ‘Knucklehead Stuff’ …’Kokamo’ comes on so slick and smooth it takes several hearings before you realize it starts out with an oral ‘dismembering’ (my word not his) on Lovers Lane…or how about Stalin drawing futuristic pictures of Huckleberry Hound while Winston Churchill befalls an ill fate???…yep, not only is it all here…it’s all here and more – rocking to the hilt and is an excellent choice for Best Record of 2014 in all classes!!!!!

this is a free blog and, as such, you must put up with the typos….

Leave a comment

Filed under johnny depp, poetry, Uncategorized

Allen Ginsberg, Jackson Pollock, Tupac Shakur and Big Vladdy

putinfishyginsygrantparkputin4Gentle Readers,
With one eye on the wheel and both hands on the road, we do our best to keep abreast of odd things happening around the world.
Fitting this dubious category is the statement made by Universal Bully Vlad (the impaler) Putin. News media this week carried a clip of the blue-eyed dapper dungeonkeeper saying…

“The only things that interest me in the U.S. are Tupac Shakur, Allen Ginsberg and Jackson Pollock. I don’t need a visa to access their work….”

Now isn’t that an interesting statement? It makes us look at him in a different way. Patti Smith recently described him taking the world’s biggest nastiest shit, the worst ever taken or left, in a solid gold commode. He really is not a nice man. He was head of the KGB and many people died under his hand, many literally by his hand.

At this point, Informed Intellects, we feel it necessary to note that this blog has always been a friend and has supported the LGBTQ community. The following statements are merely speculation of the purest form. We seriously wonder if Mr. Putin is gay? We look at his baby blues and they way he just loves his wardrobe, the fact that we never see Russia’s ‘first lady’ (although her meat could be hanging to dry for a future state dinner appetizer). Most world leaders do not have pics like this on their Facebook page, do they?putin3

It leads us down the path of trying to figure out what the brute thinks…we look at his choices. There is a lot to be learned from all three of these artist. Oh my, he likes the Arts…he named a poet, a painter and a poet rapper. We have to admit that we enjoy the work of all three as well.

Jeepers…as odd as it sounds, we made a mistake!

Putin didn’t say that, it was another Big Vladdy, Vladislav Surkov. On Monday, The New Republic said this of Surkov… was the chief architect of Putinism. He reduced the elimination of democracy, civil society, and a free press to a handful of cynically named “technologies.” (Given Russia’s historical and cultural uniqueness, he wrote, it needs something called “sovereign democracy.”) He invented the various ways to control, manipulate, marginalize, and co-opt Putin’s political opponents, always with the deft touch of a chess master.

Most blogs would wipe the mistakes clean, so as to look intelligent but not us…we shall take you along with us the thought process for reckoning this situation out…we think they both suck but we can understand what Putin likes about the Big Guy. Hey, everybody needs to let it loose sometime, yeah? Those big shoulders and swarthy dark looks may be what Putin goes for.putinlovey
For his side, we must admit that although Pollock was sexually ambiguous, we suspect that Vladdy really has a thing for Ed Harris, who could do a good Putin without make-up we bet. And is it Ginsberg that interests him or is it James Franco, who played him recently in a film? Tupac? Well, look at the guy…smooth skin, big beautiful eyes (like Putin!)…put the right doo rag on him and he could look downright sweet! We do not wish to insult Mr. Shakur or his estate, however, since we do respect him for his work and for not being the usual thug, as he was expected to be. He was a good man.

So what are we saying here? As usual, we don’t know…we just ramble and throw out thoughts for you to gesticulate upon. We found it to be a strange statement and it was much-overlooked so we had to tell you, Dear Readers, so you could have something to discuss after dinner…speaking of dinner, be sure to dress well!putin

As usual, this is a free bog so if you spot any typos, just put up with them!

2 Comments

Filed under essays, news, poetry, Uncategorized

On Language and Slang: Banging A Bitch and Some Mandarin Profanities

fields
Enlightened Readers,
We have used this photo before. It is our hero, W.C.Fields from his movie, ‘It’s A Gift,’ where he goes west and wins the good fight against roadhogs. Roadhog…there is one you do not hear often anymore but there are plenty of them out there. However this is not about roadhogs. This is about differences in language and slang from east to west in the US of A.
Now then, since we arrived in the west we made numerous friends. For some reason, we fit in better with people in the thirty to forty year old range out here, and so our friends tend to be ten or twenty years younger. This being the case, we are privy to new language – sort of.
On a recent drive, a forty year old woman in the passenger seat pointed out the windshield, instructing us to “Go to that street and bang a bitch.”
Hhmmm. “What did you just say,” we inquired. “Bang a bitch?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“What does that mean, anyway?” we continued on the interrogatory.
“I don’t know,” she replied.
“Then why did you say it?” we relentlessly perstered.
“I don’t know. I just said it. I meant for you to turn.”
“The thing is,” we explained, “is that Chris used the same expression!”
“Huh,” she offered.
Indeed, Chris, who is in his early thirties, had used the exact same expression when we dropped him off at home one day. Not knowing the neighborhood, we asked him for directions. We did not wish to appear old and out of the loop so we left Chris behind and went to bang a bitch and got lost for almost an hour since we despise GPS.
Reckoning we were onto something, upon arriving home we phoned Chris.
“Hey, man,” we started off, “Remember that time I dropped you off and you told me to go to the end of your street and bang a bitch?”
“Yeah?” he wondered where I was going with this. I could tell by his voice.
“Well, what does that mean? Bang a bitch?”
“Hhmm,” he thought aloud, “I’m not really sure. I just said it.”
“So it doesn’t mean ‘right’ or ‘left’ or anything specific?”
“Not that I know of,” he affirmed. We exchanged some pleasantries and hung up.
We reckoned wrong. Not only did we not know how to bang a bitch, we might bang one without even knowing it. Even metaphorically, it is nice to know when you are banging a bitch or not.
So, as most reasonable people do these days, we went to Google, What did we find? It’s always educational fun – looking up slang words. We found nothing. Nada. Zilch…as far as banging bitches.
The funny thing is the recurrent phrase, “I just said it,” used by both when asked. It almost smacks of brainwashing but how?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
However, in the course of our studies we happened upon this list of Mandarin Chinese profanities. Since they are on wiki, we stole, err, borrowed them to share with you here. It is actually easier to go over there and look at them.
This is great! Who would have known that they were so creative? Our hats off to the person who put it together. It allows you to insult everybody from a close family member to a mexican. We never even considered a chinese-mexican insult!
Maybe you heard some of these shouted through the door of a restaurant kitchen near you!
Let’s Look!

As in English, many Mandarin Chinese slang terms involve the genitalia or other sexual terms. Slang words for the penis refer to it literally, and are not necessarily negative words:
Penis
jībā (simplified Chinese: 鸡巴; traditional Chinese: 雞巴/鷄巴, IM abbreviation: J8/G8) = cock (used as early as the Yuan Dynasty)
jījī (simplified Chinese: 鸡鸡; traditional Chinese: 雞雞/鷄鷄, IM: JJ/GG) = roughly equivalent of “thingy” as it is the childish version of the above.
jūju (具具), baby talk, “tool”.
xiǎo dìdì (小弟弟) = roughly equivalent of “wee-wee” (lit. “little younger brother”) IM: DD
kuàxià wù (胯下物) = roughly equivalent of “the package” (lit. “thing under crotch”)
yīnjīng (simplified Chinese: 阴茎; traditional Chinese: 陰莖)= penis (scientific)
diǎo (屌 or substituted by 吊) = dick (the same character also means to have sexual intercourse in Cantonese)
luǎn (卵) same as “屌”, used in some southern areas.
lǎo èr (老二) = penis (lit. “second in the family”, “little brother”)
nà huà er (simplified Chinese: 那话儿; traditional Chinese: 那話兒) = penis, usually seen in novels/fictions. (lit. “That thing”, “that matter”)
xiǎo niǎo (小鳥) = used by children in Taiwan to mean penis (lit. “little bird”)
guītóu (simplified Chinese: 龟头; traditional Chinese: 龜頭) = turtle’s head (glans/penis)
Note: One should note that in Middle Chinese the words for “dick” (屌 diǎo) and “bird” (鳥 niǎo) were homophones if not the same word and both began with a voiceless unaspirated alveolar stop (d in pinyin). Based on regular sound change rules, we would expect the word for bird in Mandarin to be pronounced diǎo, but Mandarin dialects’ pronunciation of the word for bird evolved to an alveolar nasal initial, likely as a means of taboo avoidance, giving contemporary niǎo while most dialects in the south retain the Middle Chinese alveolar stop initial and the homophony or near homophony of these words.

Vagina[edit]There appear to be more words for vagina than for penis. The former are more commonly used as insults and are also more aggressive and have negative connotations:

bī (屄, 逼, 比, IM: B) = cunt
jībái (simplified Chinese: 鸡白; traditional Chinese: 雞白) = pussy (lit. “pure chicken”; not generally used as an insult)
xiǎomèimei (Chinese: 小妹妹; ) = pussy (lit. “little younger sister”, see. xiaodidi above)
èrbī (二屄, IM: 2B) = fucking idiot (lit. “double vagina”; general insult)
shǎbī (傻屄) = stupid person (lit. “stupid cunt”) IM: SB
sāobī (simplified Chinese: 骚屄; traditional Chinese: 騷屄) = bitch (lit. “lewd cunt”)
chòubī (臭屄) = stinking cunt
lànbī (simplified Chinese: 烂屄; traditional Chinese: 爛屄) = rotten cunt
yīndào (simplified Chinese: 阴道; traditional Chinese: 陰道) = vagina (scientific)
yīnhù (simplified Chinese: 阴户; traditional Chinese: 陰戶) = vulva (scientific)
táohuāyuán (桃花園) = vagina (lit. “garden of peach blossoms”)
zhuāngbī (simplified Chinese: 装屄; traditional Chinese: 裝) = poser (lit. “pretending to be the cunt”)
dà yí mā (大姨妈) = Literally “The Eldest Aunt”, a popular mainland contemporary term which refers to menstruation. Comparable to ‘A visit from Aunt Flo’[1][2]
Brothel frequenter[edit]yín chóng (Chinese: 淫蟲) literally, lewd worms. Men who frequently enjoy having sex with women.
lǎo piáo (Chinese: 老嫖) literally, old frequenter of prostitutes. There is actually a verb for frequenting prostitutes in Chinese.[3]
Prostitution[edit]In addition to the above expressions used as insults directed against women, other insults involve insinuating that they are prostitutes:

jì nǚ (妓女) = (female) prostitute
chòu biǎozi (臭婊子) = stinking whore
mài dòufu (simplified Chinese: 卖豆腐; traditional Chinese: 賣豆腐; literally “selling tofu”) is a euphemism for prostitution.
xiǎojiě (小姐) = means “Miss” in most contexts but, now in Northern China, also connotes “prostitute” to many young women, as it suggests expressions like zuò xiǎojiě (做小姐) or sānpéi xiǎojiě (三陪小姐), which refers to bargirls who may also be prostitutes. This connotation does not apply outside of the People’s Republic of China.
Mistress[edit]xiǎo lǎopó (小老婆) = mistress (lit. “little wife” or “little old women”). Note: when combined with other words, the character 老 (lǎo, literally “old”) does not always refer to age; for example, it is used in the terms 老公 (husband), 老婆 (wife), 老鼠 (mouse); or other, more rare cases such as 老虎 (tiger), 老鹰 (eagle), 老外 (foreigner); or important persons such as 老板 (boss) or 老师 (master or teacher).
xiǎo tàitai (小太太), lit., “little wife” (but definitely not to be mistaken for “the little woman”, which can be a way of referring to a wife in English).
èr nǎi (二奶), lit., “the second mistress” (means a concubine, a kept woman).
xiǎo sān (小三), lit., “little three” (means a mistress, since she is supposed to be the third person).
Breasts[edit]mīmī (咪咪; literally cat’s purring “meow meow”) is a euphemism for breast.
da doufu (大豆腐; literally “big tofu”) slang for large breasts, more prevalent in Guangdong
mántóu (simplified Chinese: 馒头; traditional Chinese: 饅頭; literally “steamed bun”) also refers to a woman’s breasts; as mantou is typical of northern Chinese cuisine this term is used primarily in northern China.
bō (波, literally “wave” or “undulating”, but sometimes suggested to be derived from “ball” which has a similar pronunciation) = boobs.[4] The typical instance is bōbà (Chinese: 波霸), which refers to a woman with very large breasts.
fúshòu (福寿; literally “happy long life”)
nǎinǎi (奶奶) = boobies
zār (咋) (Beijing slang)
gege (Tianjin slang)
bàorǔ (Chinese: 爆乳; literally “busty breasts (literally “explosive breasts”)”) = big tits, likely reborrowing from Japanese.
fēijīchǎng (simplified Chinese: 飞机场; traditional Chinese: 飛機場; literally “airport”) = flat breasts
háng kōng mǔ jiàn (simplified Chinese: 航空母舰; traditional Chinese: 航空母艦) – literally “aircraft carrier”, referring to a flat chest. Compare with 战舰 (zhàn jiàn), meaning battleship, which refers to larger-sized “chimneys” of the chest.
tàipíng gōngzhǔ (太平公主) means Princess of Peace, this was the actual title of a real princess. However 太 means great or extreme and 平 means flat or level. Hence, this phrase contains double meaning i.e. “Extremely Flat Princess.”
júhuā (菊花; literally “chrysanthemums”) – anus. This term comes from the observation that the shape of an anal opening resembles a chrysanthemum flower, where the skin folds are comparable to the flower’s small, thin petals. Although nowadays usage is mostly common amongst Chinese netizens, the euphemism has existed in Chinese literature from much earlier.
pìyǎn 屁眼 – anal orifice, asshole
gāngmén 肛门 – anus (medical term), literally “door of anus”.
hòutíng后庭 – anus. literally “back yard
Masturbation[edit]Male masturbation, at least, has several vulgar expressions, in addition to two formal/scientific ones that refer to both male and female masturbation (shǒuyín 手淫 and zìwèi 自慰):

dă shǒuqiāng (simplified Chinese: 打手枪; traditional Chinese: 打手槍) = male masturbation (lit. “firing a handgun”)
dǎ fēijī (simplified Chinese: 打飞机; traditional Chinese: 打飛機) = male masturbation (lit. “hitting an airplane”). A term which originated from the Cantonese language.
lǚguǎn/lǚguǎnr (捋管/捋管儿) = male masturbation (lit. “stroke the pipe”)
lūgǔan (擼管) = male masturbation, also “stroking the pipe”
wán lǎo èr (玩老二) = male masturbation (lit., “play with little brother”)
wǔdǎyī (五打一) = male masturbation (lit. “five beating one”)
jiàn Wǔ gūniáng (simplified Chinese: 见五姑娘; traditional Chinese: 見伍姑娘) = male masturbation (lit. “to see [visit] Miss Five”, to see [use] five prostitutes [fingers])
zìkuài (自快) = masturbation (lit. private pleasure)
Foreplay[edit]kǒu jiāo (口交) = oral intercourse, blowjob
chuī gōng (吹功) = blowjob (lit. “blow service”)
chuī xiāo (吹箫) = blowjob (“play flute”)
Sexual intercourse[edit]
cào (肏/操) = to fuck (the first shown Chinese character is made up of components meaning “to enter” and “the flesh”; the second is a homophone, with the standard meaning being “to do exercise”)
gàn (幹/干) = to do = to fuck (alternatively 搞 gǎo, to do) or from Hokkien 姦, also means fuck.
rì (入) (lit. “to enter)” = to fuck. The meaning is obvious and in normal contexts 入 is pronounced rù. But when it is used as a coarse expression, the “u” is elided. See 國語辤典, vol. 3, p. 3257. It is also commonly seen on internet websites and forums as rì 日, due to similar pronunciation and ease of input.
chǎofàn (simplified Chinese: 炒饭; traditional Chinese: 炒飯) = to have sex (lit. “stir-fry rice”)
bàojúhuā (爆菊花) = anal sex. (lit. burst the chrysanthemum (anus)), i.e., insert the penis into the anus
dǎpào (打炮) = to ejaculate (lit. to let off fireworks)
gāocháo (高潮) = Sexual orgasm (lit. high tide, also used to described a climax point in other domains)
chā (插)= to have sex (lit. insert)
Insults[edit]As in English, a vulgar word for the sexual act is used in insults and expletives:

cào (肏/操) = fuck (the variant character 肏 was in use as early as the Ming dynasty in the novel Jin Ping Mei). 操 is often used as a substitute for 肏 in print or on the computer, because 肏 was until recently often not available for typesetting or input.
cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài (肏你祖宗十八代) = fuck your ancestors to the eighteenth generation, the cào 肏(fuck) has been substituted for 抄, which meant “confiscate all the property of someone and of his entire extended family.” In China, ancestor worship is an important aspect of society, as a result of Confucianism, where filial piety and respect for one’s ancestors is considered crucial; insulting one’s ancestors is a sensitive issue and is generally confronting.
Insulting someone’s mother is also common:

tā māde (simplified Chinese: 他妈的; traditional Chinese: 他媽的, IM: TMD) = [fuck] his mother’s, or frequently used as “Shit!” (lit. “his mother’s”; in the 1920s the famous writer Lu Xun joked that this should be China’s national curse word)
tā mā bāzi (simplified Chinese: 他妈巴子; traditional Chinese: 他媽巴子 his mother’s clitoris. Lu Xun differentiates this expression from the previous one. This one can be said in admiration, whereas “tā māde” is just abusive. See his essay, “On ‘His mother’s’” (論他媽的).
tā māde niǎo (simplified Chinese: 他妈的鸟; traditional Chinese: 他媽的鳥) = goddamn it (lit. “his mother’s dick”; 鸟/鳥 literally is “bird”, but used here as a euphemism for diǎo; 屌; “penis”)
qù nǐ nǎinaide (Chinese: 去你奶奶的) = your mom (lit. “go to your grandma”)
qù nǐ māde (simplified Chinese: 去你妈的; traditional Chinese: 去你媽的) = your mom (lit. “go to your mom”)
qù nǐde (Chinese: 去你的) = fuck off/shut the fuck up (milder)
nǐ māde bī (simplified Chinese: 你妈的屄; traditional Chinese: 你媽的屄) = your mother’s cunt
cào nǐ mā (simplified Chinese: 肏你妈; traditional Chinese: 肏你媽) / cào nǐ niáng (肏你娘) = fuck your mom
cào nǐ māde bī (simplified Chinese: 肏你妈的屄; traditional Chinese: 肏你媽的屄) = fuck your mother’s cunt
gàn nǐ mā (simplified Chinese: 干你妈; traditional Chinese: 幹你媽) / gàn nǐ lǎo mǔ (simplified Chinese: 干你老母; traditional Chinese: 幹你老母) = fuck your mom (gàn is similar to the English euphemism do)
gàn nǐ niáng (simplified Chinese: 干你娘; traditional Chinese: 幹你娘) = fuck your mother (Taiwanese Mandarin influenced by the regional vernacular Taiwanese Minnan 姦汝娘 (kàn-lín-niâ); also “幹您娘”)
Other relatives[edit]nǐ èr dàyé de (Chinese: 你二大爷的) = damn on your second uncle. This is a part of local Beijing slang.
lǎolao (Chinese: 姥姥) = grandmother-from-mother-side. In Beijing dialect, this word is used for “Never!”.
ta nai nai de (Chinese: 他奶奶的) = His grandmother!
Turtles and eggs[edit]The 中文大辭典 Zhōng wén dà cí diǎn (Encyclopedic Dictionary of the Chinese Language)) (something a little like the OED), discusses 王八 (wáng bā) in vol. 6 p. 281. “Wáng bā” is the term that is usually written casually for the slur that means something like “son of a bitch.”

A “wángbādàn 忘/王八蛋” is the offspring of a woman lacking virtue. Another meaning of 王八 is 鼈 biē, fresh-water turtle.[5] Turtle heads reemerging from hiding in the turtle’s shell look like the glans emerging from the foreskin, and turtles lay eggs. So a “wang ba” is a woman who has lost her virtue, and a “wang ba dan” is the progeny of such a woman, a turtle product, but, figuratively, also a penis product. 龜頭 (guītóu, “turtle head”) can refer to the glans of the penis.

“Wáng bā 王八” originally got switched over from another “忘八 wàng bā” (one that referred to any very unvirtuous individual) because of a nasty piece of work with the family name Wáng 王 who picked up the nickname 賊王八 zéi Wáng bā (“the thieving Wang Eight”) but for being a dastard, not for being a bastard. The dictionary doesn’t say, but he may have been the eighth Wang among his siblings. Anyway, he became “crook Wang eight” and the term stuck and spread just as “Maverick” did in English. There is a pun here because of the earlier expression 忘八 wáng bā used to describe (1) any person who forgets/disregards the eight virtues, (2) an un-virtuous woman, i.e., one who sleeps around. The first meaning applied to the dastardly Wang, but the family name got “stuck” to the second, sexual, term.[citation needed]

Illegitimacy[edit]Many insults imply that the interlocutor’s mother or even grandmother was promiscuous. The turtle is emblematic of the penis and also of promiscuous intercourse, because turtles were once thought to conceive by thought alone, making paternity impossible to prove. Eggs are the progeny of turtles and other lower animals, so the word dàn (蛋) is a metonym for offspring.

wángbā (王八) / wàngbā (忘八) = cuckold; this was an insult as early as the Song Dynasty.
wángbādàn (王八蛋, informal simplified: 王八旦) / wàngbāgāozi (王八羔子) = bastard (lit. “turtle egg” and “turtle kid.”)
guī sūnzi (simplified Chinese: 龟孙子; traditional Chinese: 龜孫子) / guī érzi (simplified Chinese: 龟儿子; traditional Chinese: 龜兒子) = bastard (lit. “turtle grandson” and “turtle son”)
dài lǜmàozi (simplified Chinese: 戴绿帽子; traditional Chinese: 戴綠帽子) = to be a cuckold (lit. “wear a green hat,” supposedly because male brothel workers in the Tang Dynasty had to wear green hats)
zázhǒng (simplified Chinese: 杂种; traditional Chinese: 雜種) = mixed seed, half-caste, half breed, hybrid, illegitimate child. There are proper terms for children of mixed ethnicity, but this is not one of them.
hún dàn (混蛋) = individual who has at least two biological fathers and one biological mother, the idea being that the mother mated with two or more males in quick succession and a mosaic embryo was formed.
hún zhang wángbā dàn (simplified Chinese: 混账王八蛋; traditional Chinese: 混賬王八蛋) = similar to turtle egg, see above.
Stupid[edit]bái mù (Chinese: 白目) stupid. Literally, white-eyed, blind. Here it means not understanding the situation and reacting in a wrong way as a result.
bái chī (Chinese: 白痴) idiot. Someone with mental retardation.
nǎo cán (Chinese: 脑残) ‘Deficient Brain’ – Disabled brain, brain has a problem.
yíwàng de bā (Chinese: 遗忘的八) ‘Forgetter of the Eight’. lit. One who has forgotten Mencius’ Eight Rules of Civilization (slang)
dà nǎo jìn shuǐ (Chinese: 大脑进水) water leaked in the brain.
bèn dàn (Chinese: 笨蛋) stupid egg.
Suck up[edit]chong yang mei wai (Chinese: 崇洋媚外) Chinese who ass kiss foreigners.
fan jian (Chinese: 犯贱) asking to be disrespected.
zhao bian (Chinese: 招贬) asking to be kicked.
di san xia si (Chinese: 低三下四) low.
gou tui zi (Chinese: 狗腿子) someone’s dog.
pāi mǎ pì (Chinese: 拍马屁) to suck up, to be a toady.
Madness[edit]shén jīng bìng (simplified Chinese: 神经病; traditional Chinese: 神經病) Someone who is insane. Literally “disease of the nervous system”, or having problems with one’s nervous system. In China, imbalance of the nervous system is commonly associated with mental illness (for instance, 神经衰弱 Shenjing shuairuo, literally “weakness of the nervous system”, is a more socially accepted medical diagnosis for someone who, in the West, would have normally been diagnosed with schizophrenia, due to the social stigma against mental illness in China). Now the word is used quite generally when insulting someone whose actions seem odd, rude, offensive, or inappropriate.
fa biao (Chinese: 发飙) going crazy.
bian tai (Chinese: 变态) Perverted, deviant, abnormal.[6]
Buttocks[edit]While there are vulgar expressions in English referring to the buttocks or rectum, there are no real equivalents in Mandarin. Pìgu yǎn (屁股眼) or pìyǎnr (屁眼兒/屁眼儿), one expression for anus, is not vulgar, but it occurs in various curses involving an imperforate anus

sǐ pì yǎn (Chinese: 死屁眼) damned asshole.
jiào nǐ shēng háizi méi pìgu yǎn (simplified Chinese: 叫你生孩子没屁股眼; traditional Chinese: 叫你生孩子沒屁股眼) – literally, “May your child be born with an imperforate anus”; sometimes méi pìgu yǎn (simplified Chinese: 没屁股眼; traditional Chinese: 沒屁股眼) is used as an epithet similar to “damned”
jiào nǐ shēng háizi zhǎng zhì chuāng (叫你生孩子长痔疮) – “May your child be born with hemorrhoids”
wǒ kào (我靠 or 我尻) – “Well fuck me!”, “Fuck!”, “Fuckin’ awesome!” or “Holy shit!” (Originally from Taiwan, this expression has spread to the mainland, where it is generally not considered to be vulgar. 尻 originally meant “butt.”)
Age[edit]lǎo bù sǐde 老不死的—death grip on life—is used as an angry comment directed against old people who refuse to die and so clog up the ladder to promotion in some organization. The expression comes from the Analects of Confucius where the Master complains against those who engage in heterodox practices aimed at assuring them extreme longevity. In the original these individuals are described as “lǎo ér bù sǐ” (老而不死), i.e., it is said that they “are old and yet they (will not=) refuse to die.”
lǎo zéi 老賊= lǎo bù sǐde
lǎo tóuzi (simplified Chinese: 老头子; traditional Chinese: 老頭子),literally “old head,” it refers in a somewhat slighting way to old men. Its usage is rather like such expressions as “old gaffer,” “old geezer,” etc. in English.
xiǎo guǐ 小鬼,” little devils,” is used familiarly and (usually) affectionately.
rǔ xiù wèi gān (simplified Chinese: 乳臭未干; traditional Chinese: 乳臭未乾) Literally “(the) smell (of) milk is not dry (=gone) yet,” wet behind the ears.
lao wan gu 老顽固, an old arrogant man.
Promiscuity[edit]As in the West, highly sexual women have been stigmatized. Terms for males who sleep around are rare.

chāng fù (娼妇) = bitch/whore
húli jīng (狐狸精) = bitch (overly seductive woman or a golddigger; lit. “fox spirit”)
sānbā (三八) = airhead, braggart, slut (lit. “three eight”). Used to insult women. One derivation claims that at one point in the Qing Dynasty, foreigners were only permitted to circulate on the eighth, eighteenth, and twenty-eighth of each month, and the Chinese deprecated these aliens by calling them 三八, but others claim 三八 refers to March 8: International Women’s Day.
gōng gòng qì chē (simplified Chinese: 公共汽车; traditional Chinese: 公共汽車) = slut (lit. “public bus”) used for a woman who sleeps around, as in “everyone has had a ride”
biǎozi (婊子) = whore, slut
jiàn nǚ rén (贱女人) = bitch, cheap woman
huā huā gōngzi (花花公子) = playboy, notorious cheater (lit. “Flower-Flower Prince”)
Positive connotations[edit]Occasionally, slang words with a negative connotation are turned around and used positively:

wǒ cào (我肏) = holy fuck (lit. “I fuck”) Alternatively, “我靠” (wǒ kào, “I lean on”. IM:KAO) or “哇靠” (wa kào) is used when the subject intends on being less obscene, such as when speaking in public.
niúbī (牛屄/牛逼) = fucking awesome (literally “cow cunt”; possibly influenced by the expression chuī niú pí; 吹牛皮, which means “to brag”). This phrase also has many alternative forms, including NB, 牛B, 牛比, 牛鼻 (“cow’s nose”), as well as alternative pronunciations such as 牛叉/牛X niúchā. It can also just be shortened to 牛.
diǎo (屌) / niǎo (simplified Chinese: 鸟; traditional Chinese: 鳥) = cock; this was an insult as long ago as the Jin Dynasty. Now it sometimes also means “fucking cool” or “fucking outrageous”, thanks in large part to the pop star Jay Chou. Because of the substitution of “niǎo” which means bird, sometimes English-speaking Chinese in Malaysia sometimes use “birdie” as a euphemism for “penis” for small children. “鸟人” (bird man) sometimes has a derogative meaning as a “wretch”, but also often used between close friends as affectionate appellation like “fellow”.
Mixed-up[edit]Other insults include the word hùn (混), which means “mixed-up”, or hùn (simplified Chinese: 浑; traditional Chinese: 渾), which means “muddy”:

hùnzhàng (simplified Chinese: 混账; traditional Chinese: 混賬) = bullshit
hùndàn (混蛋 / simplified Chinese: 浑蛋; traditional Chinese: 渾蛋) = prick
hūndàn (昏蛋) = prick
hùnqiú (混球) = prick
Eggs[edit]Perhaps due to the influence of wángbādàn (王八蛋), dàn (蛋; “egg”) is used in a number of other insults in addition to hùndàn (混蛋):

bèndàn (笨蛋) = dummy, fool (lit. “dumb egg”)
chǔn dàn(蠢蛋)= dummy, fool
dǎodàn (倒蛋 / simplified Chinese: 捣蛋; traditional Chinese: 搗蛋) = “to cause trouble”
gǔndàn (simplified Chinese: 滚蛋; traditional Chinese: 滾蛋) = get out of sight!
huàidàn (simplified Chinese: 坏蛋; traditional Chinese: 壞蛋) = a wicked person. Literally a bad egg.
hútú dàn (糊涂蛋) = confused/clueless person (a sucker)
qíongguāng dàn (simplified Chinese: 穷光蛋; traditional Chinese: 窮光蛋) = a poor/penniless person
Melons[edit]The word guā (瓜; melon or gourd) is also used in insults:

shǎguā (傻瓜; also shǎzi, 傻子) = dummy, fool (in use as early as the Yuan Dynasty)
dāiguā (呆瓜; also dāizi, 呆子) = dummy, fool
In addition to the senses listed above, the “melon” is a metonym for the womb, and a “broken melon” refers to a female’s lost virginity.

Sticks[edit]The noun 棍 gùn, stick/staff is often used to refer to someone who is morally corrupted.

惡棍 / 恶棍 = bad guy, bully, villain (lit. “evil stick”)
神棍 = fake fortune teller (lit. “god stick”)
賭棍 / 赌棍 = rogue gambler (lit. “gamble stick”)
Ghosts and spirits[edit]The noun for “ghost” 鬼 is often used to mock someone with some bad habit. The mocking tone may not be very serious though.

酒鬼 = drinker
醉鬼 = drunker
小气鬼 = meanie
胆小鬼 = coward
精 “nonhuman spirit in a human’s form” is usually for insulting some cunning people.

狐狸精 “fox spirit” = overly seductive woman
马屁精 “horse-fart spirit” = flatterer
老妖婆 Evil old witch.
Useless[edit]Fèi (Chinese: 废, Chinese: 廢; “to discard as useless”) appears in a number of insults:
wōnang fèi (simplified Chinese: 窝囊废; traditional Chinese: 窩囊廢) = loser
fèi wù (simplified Chinese: 废物; traditional Chinese: 廢物)= good for nothing.
fèirén (simplified Chinese: 废人; traditional Chinese: 廢人) = useless person
fèihuà (simplified Chinese: 废话; traditional Chinese: 廢話) = nonsense
liúmáng (Chinese: 流氓) = scoundrel or pervert (the word originally meant vagrant); often used by women to insult men who make aggressive advances
nāozhǒng (simplified Chinese: 孬种; traditional Chinese: 孬種) = coward, useless, or weak person.
rén zhā (Chinese: 人渣) = Scum. Someone who is useless and unwanted as garbage.
wúyòng (simplified Chinese: 无用; traditional Chinese: 無用) = literarily useless
fàntǒng (simplified Chinese: 饭桶; traditional Chinese: 飯桶) = useless person, literally “rice bucket” as in only useful for storing food.
er bai wu (Chinese: 二百五; ) = haven’t got the full deck.
Boasting[edit]ban ping zi cu (Chinese: 半瓶子醋): literally, a half-empty bottle of vinegar, used to address a person with limited professional expertise.
chui niu bi (Chinese: 吹牛逼) = lit. inflating (blowing air into) a cow’s vagina. Used to address bragging activities.
chi bao le cheng de (Chinese: 吃饱了撑的): lit. eats too much. Used to refer weird, nonsense or illogical deeds.
Cruelty[edit]sha ren bu zha yan (Chinese: 杀人不眨眼) stone cold killer.
xiao ba wang zhou tong (Chinese: 小霸王周通) a wicked man.
huo yan xie shen (Chinese: 火眼邪神) evil spirit.
da mo tou (Chinese: 大魔头) a very wicked and powerful man.
Face[edit]Because shame or “face” is important in Chinese culture, insulting someone as “shameless” is much stronger than in English:

bú yàoliǎn (simplified Chinese: 不要脸; traditional Chinese: 不要臉) = shameless, lit. “doesn’t want face,” i.e., “discards his face, does not seek to maintain a good status in society”.
Girlish[edit]niángniangqiāng (Chinese: 娘娘腔) is a pejorative used to describe Chinese males who are extremely effeminate in their speaking style. It is related to the term sājiào (撒娇, to whine), but is predominantly said of males who exhibit a rather “girlish” air of indecisiveness and immaturity. Adherents of both tend to lengthen sentence-final particles while maintaining a higher-pitched intonation all throughout. The usage of the tilde as an Internet meme reflects the popularization of this style of speaking, which is often perceived by Westerners as being cute or seductive.
niángpào (娘炮) = same as 娘娘腔 (above)
tàijiàn (太监) or gōnggong (公公) – Eunuch. From the stereotypes of Imperial eunuchs seen in TV shows in China (with a high, feminine voice). Men with higher voices are called eunuchs.
nǚ qì (simplified Chinese: 女气; traditional Chinese: 女氣), female lifebreath. A man having the psychological attributes of a woman is said to exhibit “nǚ qì,” i.e., is said to be effeminate.
pì jīng (Chinese: 屁精) roughly meaning ass fairy
nǎi yóu (Chinese: 奶油) lit. meaning cream or butter
Boyish[edit]nán rén pó (Chinese: 男人婆) a female who behaves like a male. Tomboy
mu ye cha (Chinese: 母夜叉) a female toad, an ugly and rough female.
Inhuman[edit]Other insults accuse people of lacking qualities expected of a human being:

chùsheng (畜生) = animal (these characters are also used for Japanese “chikushō”, which may mean “beast,” but is also used as an expletive, like “damn!”)
nǐ bú shì rén (你不是人) = you’re not human (lit.: “you are not a person”)
nǐ shì shénme dōngxi (simplified Chinese: 你是什么东西; traditional Chinese: 你是什麽東西) = you’re less than human, literally: What kind of object are you? (compares the level of a person to that of an object)
nǐ búshì dōngxi (simplified Chinese: 你不是东西; traditional Chinese: 你不是東西) = you’re less than human (implies less worth than an object)
bùyàoliǎn de dōngxi (simplified Chinese: 不要脸的东西; traditional Chinese: 不要臉的東西) = you’re shameless and less than human (lit.: “you are a thing that has no shame”)
jiànhuò (simplified Chinese: 贱货; traditional Chinese: 賤貨) = lit. “cheap goods” (“[you] despicable creature!”)
sāohuò (simplified Chinese: 骚货; traditional Chinese: 騷貨) = lit. “lewd goods” (“[you] lewd creature!”)
Death[edit]Sǐ (死; “dead”, “cadaverous,” or, less precisely, “damn(ed)”) is used in a number of insults:

sǐ guǐ (死鬼) lit., “dead imp,” “dead demon,”
sǐ sān bā (死三八) / chòu sān bā (臭三八), lit., stinking (derogatory term for woman) bitch
sǐ bù yào liǎn (simplified Chinese: 死不要脸; traditional Chinese: 死不要臉) = shameless (lit.: “[you] shameless corpse”)
qù sǐ (去死) = “Go die!” or “Go to hell!”
sǐ yā tóu 死丫頭, lit., dead serving wench. — This term is no longer in common use. It appears in early novels as a deprecating term for young female bondservants. The “ya” element refers to a hair style appropriate to youths of this sort.
gāi sǐ (simplified Chinese: 该死; traditional Chinese: 該死) damned, damn it! (lit. should die)
zhǎo sǐ (Chinese: 找死): literally ‘looking for death’
qù xià dì yù (去下地狱) – descend into hell
Excrement[edit]The words “屎” (shǐ) (= turd, dung), “粪” (fèn) (= manure, excrement) and “大便 (= stool)” (dà biàn), all meaning feces but vary from blunt four letter to family normal, can all be used in compound words and sentences in a profane manner. Originally the various Mandarin Chinese words for “excrement” were less commonly used as expletives, but that is changing. Perhaps because farting results in something that is useless even for fertilizer: “fàng pì” (放屁; lit. “to fart”) is an expletive in Mandarin. The word “pì” (屁; lit. “fart”) is commonly used as an expletive in Mandarin.

qù chī dà biàn (去吃大便) [Go] Eat shit! (By itself, 大便 is neither an expletive nor does it have the same effect as ‘shit’ in English.)
chī shǐ (吃屎) = Eat shit!
shǐ dàn (屎蛋) Lit., shit egg, a turd.
fàng pì (放屁) = bullshit, nonsense, lie (literally “to fart”; used as an expletive as early as the Yuan dynasty. Taiwanese just simply say “pi” or “ge pi” when referring to “bullshit” (as in lies), as “fang pi” is taken literally “to fart”.)
pìhuà (simplified Chinese: 屁话; traditional Chinese: 屁話) = bullshit, nonsense
nǐ zài jiǎng shén me pì huà (simplified Chinese: 你在讲什么屁话; traditional Chinese: 你在講什麽屁話) = What shit/the fuck are you saying
pì shì (屁事) = a mere nothing; also guānwǒpìshì (关我屁事)=I don’t care a damn!
mǐ tián gòng (米田共) – A play on the writing of “糞” (the traditional form of “粪” (fen), also “kuso” in Japanese), referring to excrement.
qí yán fèn tǔ yě (simplified Chinese: 其言粪土也; traditional Chinese: 其言糞土也) – an expression in Classical Chinese that means, “His words are [nothing but] excrement.” (See Giles, A Chinese-English Dictionary.)
shǐ bǎ ba (屎 or 屎㞎㞎)[7] – Children’s slang term for faeces, similar to English “poo” or “brownie”. A variant of this term is 㞎㞎 (bǎ ba), while 便便 (biàn bian) is also used as a children’s term, albeit less frequently used.
Animals[edit]Dogs[edit]The fact that many insults are prefaced with the Mandarin Chinese word for dog attest to the animal’s low status:

gǒuzǎizi (狗崽子/狗仔子) = son of dog (English equivalent: “son of a bitch”)
gǒu pì (狗屁) = bullshit, nonsense (lit. “dog fart”); in use as early as 1750 in the Qing Dynasty novel Ru Lin Wai Shi (The Scholars)
nǐ ge gǒu pì (simplified Chinese: 你个狗屁; traditional Chinese: 你個狗屁) = what you said is bullshit. also “nǐ ge pì”(simplified Chinese: 你个屁; traditional Chinese: 你個屁)or simply “pì”(Chinese: 屁).
gǒu pì bù tōng (狗屁不通) dog fart + does not (come out at the end of the tube =) communicate= incoherent, nonsensical
fàng nǐ mā de gǒu pì (simplified Chinese: 放你妈的狗屁; traditional Chinese: 放你媽的狗屁) = what you said is fucking bullshit (lit. “release your mother’s dog fart”)
fàng nǐ mā de gǒu chòu pì (simplified Chinese: 放你妈的狗臭屁; traditional Chinese: 放你媽的狗臭屁) = what you said is fucking bullshit (lit. “release your mother’s dog stinky fart”)
gǒu niáng yǎng de (simplified Chinese: 狗娘养的; traditional Chinese: 狗娘養的) = son of a bitch (lit. “raised by a dog mother”)
gǒurìde (狗日的) = son of a bitch (from Liu Heng’s story “Dogshit Food”, lit. “dog fuck” 日 is here written for 入, which when pronounced rì means “fuck”.)
gǒushǐ duī (狗屎堆) = a person who behaves badly (lit. “a pile of dog shit”); gǒushǐ (狗屎), or “dog shit,” was used to describe people of low moral character as early as the Song dynasty. Due to Western influence, as well as the similar sound, this has become a synonym for bullshit in some circles.
gǒuzázhǒng (simplified Chinese: 狗杂种; traditional Chinese: 狗雜種) = literally “mongrel dog,” a variation on zázhǒng (simplified Chinese: 杂种; traditional Chinese: 雜種), above.
zǒugǒu (走狗) = lapdog, often translated into English as “running dog”, it means an unprincipled person who helps or flatters other, more powerful and often evil people; in use in this sense since the Qing Dynasty. Often used in the 20th century by communists to refer to client states of the United States and other capitalist powers.
gǒutuǐzi (狗腿子) / gǒutuǐ (狗腿) = variant of zǒugǒu (走狗)
Rabbits[edit]In at least one case, rabbit is part of an insult:

xiǎotùzǎizi (小兔崽子) = son of a rabbit (quite ironically, this insult is often used by parents to insult their children)
Horse[edit]mǎzi (simplified Chinese: 马子; traditional Chinese: 馬子; literally “horse”) = a derogatory word for girlfriend. (Possibly influenced by U.S. slang, “filly,” used for any girl.)
Bird[edit]The Chinese word for bird “niǎo”(鸟) was pronounced as “diǎo” in ancient times, which rhymes with (屌) meaning penis or sexual organ.[8] It also sounds the same as “penis” in several Chinese dialects. Thus, bird is often associated with ‘fuck’, ‘penis’ or ‘nonsense’:

wǒ niǎo nǐ (simplified Chinese: 我鸟你; traditional Chinese: 我鳥你) = I fuck you (Beijing dialect)
wǒ niǎo tā de (simplified Chinese: 我鸟他的; traditional Chinese: 我鳥他的) = damn fuck; fuck him
niǎo huà (simplified Chinese: 鸟话; traditional Chinese: 鳥話; literally “bird speech”) = bullshit, fucking words ; nǐ zài jiǎng shénme niǎo huà (simplified Chinese: 你在讲说什么鸟话; traditional Chinese: 你在講什麽鳥話) = What fucking words are you talking about?
niǎo rén (simplified Chinese: 鸟人; traditional Chinese: 鳥人; literally “bird person”) = bastard, asshole. This word commonly appears in Water Margin, a Ming dynasty Classical Chinese Novel.
niǎo shì (simplified Chinese: 鸟事; traditional Chinese: 鳥事; literally “bird matters”) = mere nothing; also guān wǒ niǎo shì (simplified Chinese: 关我鸟事; traditional Chinese: 關我鳥事) = I don’t care a damn
Tigress[edit]A tigress or 母老虎 (Mǔ lǎohǔ) refers to a fierce woman, usually someone’s strict wife.

Dinosaur[edit]A dinosaur or 恐龙 (Kǒnglóng) has been used as Internet slang to describe an ugly girl.

Contempt[edit]Certain words are used for expressing contempt or strong disapproval:

wǒpēi (我呸) = I boo in disapproval. Pēi 呸 is a spoken onomatopoeia that represents the action of spitting.
Divinity[edit]One of the few insults connected to the supernatural is not used to damn but to compare the insulted person to a disliked god:

wēnshén (瘟神) = troublemaker (literally “plague god”)
Miscellaneous[edit]Some expressions are harder to explain:

èrbǎiwǔ (二百五) = stupid person/idiot (see 250)
shūdāizi, (simplified Chinese: 书呆子; traditional Chinese: 書呆子) roughly equivalent to “bookworm” or, possibly, “nerd”. It is used to portray a studious person as lacking hands-on experience or social skills. Unlike “nerd”, shūdāizi is rarely used in the context of hobbies.
bì zuǐ, (闭嘴) = Shut up! [9]
Action Specific[edit]Some expressions represent offensive insults involving some kind of actions:

gǔnkāi (simplified Chinese: 滚开; traditional Chinese: 滾開) = go to hell! (lit. roll or roll over)
nǐgěiwǒgǔn (simplified Chinese: 你给我滚; traditional Chinese: 你給我滾) = get out of my sight!
gǔndàn (滚蛋) = scram, get out!
Region specific[edit]Many locations within China have their own local slang, which is scarcely used elsewhere.

gàn nǐ xiǎo BK de (干你小BK的) – Local slang from Tianjin, meaning “go fuck your ‘thing’”, where “BK” refers to male genitalia. However, when insulting females, “马B” is used instead.
xiǎo yàng le ba (小样了吧) – Originating from Southern China. Said upon someone’s misfortunes, similar to “haha” or “suck that”.
shén me niǎo (simplified Chinese: 什么鸟; traditional Chinese: 什麼鳥) – From the northeastern Heilongjiang, although also used in the South. Used similar to “what the fuck?”
fage (发格) – Used in Shanghai, direct transliteration from English “fuck”.
èrbǎdāo (二把刀) – Beijing slang for a good-for-nothing; klutz. Literally “double-ended sword”, considered a concept which is useless.
xiǎomì (小蜜) – Beijing slang for a special female friend, often used with negative connotations.
cènà (册那) – Shanghainese for “fuck”, similar in usage to 肏 cào albeit less strong.[10]
Racism[edit]Chinese has specific terms and racial slurs for different ethnicities, governments and backgrounds.

Against Westerners[edit]yáng guǐzi (Chinese: 洋鬼子) — “Foreign devil”, a slur for foreigners.
guǐlǎo (Chinese: 鬼佬) — Borrowed from Cantonese “Gweilo”, “ghost” or “ghost guy”, a slur for white people
hóng máo guǐzi (simplified Chinese: 红毛鬼子; traditional Chinese: 紅毛鬼子) — “Red fur devil”, rude slang term for Caucasians, especially Anglos
máo zi (Chinese: 毛子) – Ethnic slur against Russians. (Literally “fur”.) Alternatively 红毛子 (hóng máo zi, red (communist) fur), 俄毛子 (é máo zi, Rus fur). Similar concept to “hóng máo guǐzi” above.
lǎo wài (Chinese: 老外) — “foreigner”, literally “old outsider”, slang term for Caucasians in Mainland China, especially Anglos. Since this term is quite often used colloquially without malicious intent (even directly to foreigners proficient in Mandarin), its meaning is highly context specific. As a rough guide, however, it’s best to avoid using the term outside China.
mán zi (simplified Chinese: 蛮子; traditional Chinese: 蠻子) — foreign barbarians
lǎo mò (老墨) — “Old Mexican”, an ethnic slur used on Mexicans. 墨 should not be confused with “ink”, which bears the same character and pronunciation from “墨” in 墨西哥 (Mexico).

Leave a comment

Filed under essays, related subjects, Uncategorized

How To Make Money On Legal Marijuana

pot

Faithful Readers,
We thank your for all your recent support by visiting this blog and hope you will keep it up…we promise to keep writing if you do. Today we want to talk about how to make money…a lot of people hate money but want it. They blame one percent of everybody else for taking their money…this may well be true but there are ways to get your cash back, legal ways in case anybody from the law enforcement community perked up their ears when they saw this title.
First, we have the legislation from the FED last week which allows banks to fund pot growers in legal states…this is the biggest read-between-the-lines green light that the USA could get as regards the future of our fav weed. People make livings from it and raise families here. They buy new cars and lighting systems, soil and pots. They put money back into the economy and they have hope in their eyes. They are not waiting for a pension and know they have averted the dead end that most young people find themselves facing these days when thinking about a ‘career’…what a word!
But you do not even have to grow it or smell it or even touch it to make money. You can buy stocks through your favorite brokerage which will put you in the pot business, more or less. But how to make moey? Buy low and sell high is the logic.
At this point the stocks sell at incredibly low prices, like 3 or four shares for a dollar. The first such stock we cashed in on was Medical Marijuana Inc (MJNA) which is kind of a stinker and we are happy we got out with our pants on that one but we did make a few hundred dollars. When we first heard about it, Bruce Perlowin, the Prince of Pot, was at the helm. It looked like a good thing and Perlowin talked it up on CNBC but jumped ship and now runs HEMP, Inc (HEMP). Due to his dodgy ways we do not recommend either one of these but prefer to stick to rowlife, Inc. (PHOT) at this time…
Growlife, Inc., the indoor lighting/hydroponic/cash-lending-to-growers conglomerate is our new favorite and they stand more to gain than any company from the FED decision to allow mariuana lending.
They have been buying up major growershop chains and were the first company to announce that they would lend money to new grow operations to get set up. All summer long it languished at under five cents a share as we told everybody we knew to go and buy some. Now it is at forty cents a share and that represents roughly a 1400% gain on your money in the six month period from today back to August 18, when it was three cents a share. Compare that to the dismal 1-2% return on a 15-month CD!
Of course, playing with penny stocks is like playing with fire but the idea is to buy a bunch when it is at a low point and sell a portion when it hits a high – a large enough portion so that the remaining shares are yours for free. It is still at a price where you can do that
This is new industry. Do you realize how rare a new industry in the USA is? What was the last one…computers/internet services? Was that a money-maker for those who got in early? As of December 2103, Growlife has a former Microsoft/Yahoo! executive running operations and some other high-tech moneyed names are also lurking in the background. There is a lot of cash to be made here. Of course money is evil but you need money to live.
Live is evil spelled backwards.
If the ‘one percenters’ are taking all the money, why not grab a few crumbs as they flake of the sides of the monopoly money stacks. Why let them make all the money and complain?
So while we do not promote rich pigs running our lives, we do like to pick their pockets and when we see them piling onto something, we look for loose change on the ground…morepot

This is a free blog so do not look at the typos…

Leave a comment

Filed under business and finance, essays, news, related subjects, Uncategorized

‘It Done Something To Him’…A New Perspective on Sexuality

Originally posted on Celebrating 50 Years of Substance Abuse!:

Gentle Readers,

We are all little lambs who have gone astray, to a degree, and some of us stray more than others.  We at CFYSA have strayed from our planned topic for today due to some information received from a familiar source, on the topic of the nature of human sexuality and homosexuality.

     The source of our data is the inimitable Ferd, who gesticulated in the Summer sun, while dress completely in black and sitting on a little chair that folds out from a cane. He does not use the cane when riding bicycle but likes to sit when he can and so carries this piece of handicappana…

     At any rate, a recent death in the family resulted in the usual get-together and, in asking about his relatives, it would appear that the high point of the ceremonies was the appearance of Ferd’s cousin, Wanda, who used to be…

View original 389 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A Fine Example of How To Behave Badly or ‘The Best of Paxil Manners’

Modest Readers,
We do not illustrate this installment of the blog because the whole thing is an illustration in and of itself…the following log illustrates how a person on Paxil and behaving like a complete asshole can act and give you clues on how to spot one. This is an actual logsheet taken from the Official Asshole Logbook from last year.
Since we are nearing March, we present this entry from the aforementioned text…

In short, if you are with someone who acts like this, they are an asshole. This will help you spot one if you are unsure…

We do not include good behavior here because it does not offset the bad.

ASSHOLE ACTIVITY LOGSHEET 3/21/13
900am
wakes in fine mood

1000AM
takes meds

1030am
gets loud on phone
1055am
asks friend personal question and says we said to ask.
1120am
starts interrupting, being rude and not allowing others to complete thoughts
1136am
locks self outside house
1147am
tries kissing up by bringing us OJ…
1149am
butts in again when others speaking
1154am
listless
1156am
interrupts conversation on medical care to shout ‘birdies! Birdies!’
speaking too loudly.
Annoying in general.
1157am
upstairs waking cats that want to sleep in daytime, as cats do. Inkie now under sofa where she cannot reach her.
1158am
talking to self loudly.
1206pm
just plain fucking stupid! Wants to go out and play and it is 27 degrees outside.
110pm
still being jackass
130pm
allowing bowl of pot to burn into air while staring at pc
140pm
on phone in living room while burning light in bedroom
156pm
made us ask same question three times in a row while giving us answer to a question we never even asked.
219pm
accuses us of insulting her because we said crushed velvet.
229pm
gives stupid response.
232pm
wants to use my garden shears on plastic and ruin the blade
323pm
standing there giving me creeps.
340pm
puts cat urine-soaked carpet from porch in washing machine with her own clothes
348pm
wasting bowl again
402pm
wants a beer already…
446pm
starts to go into las vegas rant and cracks second beer
448pm
claims to be not drinking fast enough
459pm
stamps feet like child while singing ‘lalalalala’ at top of lungs to drown out other person who is wishing to communicate in an adult fashion.
Went into bathroom and continued singing obstreperously while pissing into the bowl.
511pm
won’t allow others to speak.
513pm
lost beer and blames it on others
555pm
suggests using cookware to perform injurious deeds upon small animals while drunk
556pm
pees pants
thinks it is funny and has nothing to do with drinking or her kidneys and liver
gets stuck on/in toilet by big ass.
608pm
told to quit talking to herself and distracting playmates
612pm
asked for more meds – drug-seeking behaviour.
627pm
extemporaneously spouting shit about monsanto. says she will eat a boll weevil. speech meandering. going back in time and blessing dead people.
646pm
spouting off extemporaneously on subject of ‘origins of the human hand shake’
649pm
attempts to influence monitor with sexual favors, including blowjobs
652pm
wants car to go ‘get something’ but refuses to explain what.
653pm
acts like pig. argues. unreasonable. chattering. bitching. Threatening
714pm
cannot open simple bag of cheese where it says ‘pull here’
743pm
blathering
745pm
will not shut the fuck up
was acting stupid at 744pm and would not shut up so we could report her.
747pm
acting helpless to a cancer patient because too drunk to stand up straight by herself
749pm
sarcasm towards others
822pm
lurking about again – seems to lurk about too often
847pm
lost false tooth we paid for. could not find it because too vain to get eyeglasses so she can see five feet in front of her.
Also lost temper twice in last 15 minutes and suggested several stupid and inane things which make no good sense to us.

We shall conclude due to her increasing mania so we may watch to be sure she doesn’t hurt herself.

And that, Mannered Readers, is last year’s account of bad behaviour for one day for one person. e must all consider our bad behaviour footprints and keep such idiocy to a minimum for the sake of the global community.

We wish you a good day/evening and warn you to be aware of such goings-on. Protect yourself accordingly!

This is a free blog and, as such, is expected to have a certain amount of typos.

Leave a comment

Filed under essays, pleas, related subjects, Uncategorized

Amiri Baraka, Chris Christie and the Rape of New Jersey

baraka
Humble Readers,
When Amiri Baraka passed away on January 9 of this year, we lost a great american.
During his life, Baraka said a number of foolish and incendiary things. He called all white men ‘fags’ and called for the rape of all white women by black men – talking about going for a reaction! As he got older, his racist rants lightened up.
We spoke to him in the year before his death and race division was not the answer to our problems, as he saw it. We are past that and the only way we can save this country is for all people to unite. In fact, the only way we got to interview him was to tell him that his message did not get to enough white people and that most readers of the publication we wanted to interview him for were white. When we first asked for an interview, we were met with laughter but once we explained why we wanted to interview him for Beatdom, he relented.
The movements by the lower and middle class groups cannot be exclusive to race or party. The only way to beat the commercial-industrial-military complex that has most people beaten down is to unite, not to fight each other. Instead of attacking another race, why not join together and go after the rich bastards who you think have all your money? Even Baraka admitted that the election of Obama served to widen the gap between races, which had been a huge focus of civil rights groups. The issue of Civil Rights keeps slipping into the news. Before he died, Mr. Baraka pointed to the Trayvon Martin case, which exploded shortly thereafter. He also called out the Tea Party, a huge racist group.
Another prescient bit that AB (as his staff called him) told us involved a certain Mayor of Newark. This guy got elected by the people of Newark and robbed them for decades by signing a deal with Prudential Insurance to allow them tax-free access to do business in Newark. Corey Booker, the conman in question, has deprived the citizens of Newark countless dollars. One Prudential building is worth ‘about 300 million dollars a year in taxes’ according to the late poet. That is 300 million a year since 1970.
Besides allowing Prudential to usurp city services and plaster its name over all the buildings and landmarks it can defile, Booker (at that time) was trying to sell the water rights belonging to the city, as well as 200 acres of land where water springs from. This does not seem in the best interest of the people of New Jersey.
NO interest in the people of New Jersey???? How can we even use the phrase without mentioning, our Hero Sandwich, Chris Christie?chris1
When the sitting Senator of New Jersey died last year, Governor Christie rewarded Booker for his mis-deeds (and likely payoffs pushed up the ladder) from the Newark scams. Booker has a pretty face and shiny bald head. He is black.
Black or white, he obviously is consumed by greed from the inside out so color doesn’t matter. What matters is – where he is going from Senator? If Christie eats himself through the press and doesn’t get to the 2016 primaries, Booker could carry out his agenda and be counted on to keep kicking the graft up the ladder to the big guy. Another good, thing…he is even whiter than Obama…look!booker
Is he our future? Is Christie our future? Do we want a future?

This is a free blog so do not pay attention to the typos, if you find any.

1 Comment

Filed under business and finance, essays, news, poetry, related subjects, Uncategorized