By Popular Demand (sort of) The Fabulous Ferd!

 

Since we started this blog about one year ago, we have introduced you to the ignoble character of Ferd.

While we are told we could not make such a person up if we tried, we often wonder why we would try.

 

Here you see a photo of the man, himself, drunken – on our money, as usual – on strawberry drinks at ChiChi’s, the once popular chain of ‘mexican’ restaurants.

Personally, we do not know how that chain lasted as long as it did, as to me no restaurant can call itself truly ‘mexican’ unless they have tamales on the menu.

ChiChi’s, coincidentally, is the only place where Your Humble Narrator ever worked in food services. That was enough.

 

So, about Ferd…what do we say, how do we explain?

First, let it be known that he has known Your Narrator since the tender age of eight years old. He remembers things that have vanished. He validates our (my) childhood by being the only other person who can remember it.  A year older, he claims he met Your Narrator at the Egypt Playground in the sandbox, when we threw sand on him

at age seven. It has been pretty much the same ever since.

 

We also went through quite a few psychedelic experiences together, even having had the same hallucination at the same time.

We believe this psychedelic connection formed a bond between he and we (the editorial we, as explained in The Big Lebowski by The Dude), as evidenced by the way we came into contact with him after 18 years of not seeing him.

An annnoying jackass was sending me drivel that he called a novel about his time in the US Navy. He sent me some every other day and thought it to be amusing but, as with many writers, he produced useless crap. His useless scribblings being about the Navy reminded us of the box of letters received from Ferd during his time on the high seas. One day, we dug out the box and looked at one letter. It was funny and showed a sense of style and humour which have long since been given up to the dementia of what is known as a ‘wet brain’.

Anyway, that very night we had a dream, a dream that Ferd was in some kind of trouble. It was not Ferd in the dream. The image was of Your Narrator, standing in a doorway, sweating. We knew it was Ferd, even though it looked like us. That is how dreams are.

It did pique the curiousity, however, and after 18 years we decided to look Ferd up…which is not too hard. We took to the internet and after finding a few embarrassing news articles which found him involved in strange behaviour, we procured the address and phone number.

Upon calling the number, we were greeted by the long-unheard voice of Ferd.  He was stinking drunk and had no idea who we were. We tried to make sense to him, until a shrill voice shouted from the background, “If you do not get off of that phone right now, I am leaving this minute!’…whereupon the phone was hung up on his end.

Imagining this to be a singular event, we tried the call the next day. Still drunk, we felt his mind reel over the wire. Then, using a phrase that was shared between only he and we, we managed to startle him into a brief moment of cognizance…”Mike…?” He sputtered. “Ferd!” We replied, to which he countered, “I had a dream about you the other night, you were standing in a doorway!” Amazing but true, how the common bond formed by the use of the funny stuff kept us so connected after so many years.

So, we made plans to get together and picked up our association with each other. He is too stupid to be a friend, so he says we are his ‘friend’ and we say, ‘He is our Ferd.’

 

When this blog started it had a slightly different title, which was Celebrating 50 Years of Substance Abuse. An opportunity showed itself, a while back, to see what LSD had become in the 21st Century and also to be able to achieve tripping over the course of four decades, just to be able to say so. We can tell all of the parents out there not to worry if their child has taken the acid of today. It is as weak as a baby kitten. We paid $20 a hit for what was called ‘triple-dipped’ blotter and had high hopes of a happy high.

Since Ferd had tripped with us a minimum of 400 times, we figured it best to employ him in the test of today’s intoxicants.

Not having used such stuff since the 1990s and way before the death of our parents, it was with a small bit of trepidation that we suggested to Ferd that we retire to our house to try the stuff. We arrived and, since it was supposedly ‘triple-dipped’, took a half a dose each. In the 1990s, a quarter dose of a single tab would be enough to elicit euphoric blissfulness.

We swallowed it and sat on the sofa, listening to Bob Dylan while watching him on Youtube. We started to feel a little ‘sproingy’ in the joints, that rubbery feeling in the elbows and knees, like there is great power there trying to take over us.

We didn’t feel much else, to be honest, and the whole affair seemed pretty mundane until the moment Ferd spoke.

“Opie got in trouble with his bike on the sidewalk,” he offered.

“What???,” we queried him, “the fuck are you talking about?”

“You know,” came his voice from his dazed haze, “When that rich kid told Opie it was okay to ride his bike on the sidewalk and he got in trouble with Barney.”

Incredulous, we thought about that last statement, until it dawned on us, “You are talking about the Andy Griffith Show? From the 1960s?…and you expect me to know what you are talking about.”

“Well, you know,” he countered, “Barney told him not to go on the sidewalk…”

Waves of laughter finally rolled over us, just like in the old days. Ferd sat there, uncomfortably wondering what was so funny. Everytime we stopped laughing and looked at him, we started involuntarily guffawing. It went like that for a couple hours. Everytime, we stopped laughing, we thought of Barney and the laughter returned, while Ferd sat – literally - twiddling his thumbs. It still makes us smile but it was also a sad moment because that was when we realized that the wet brain had affected Ferd to the point that he was no longer ‘with it’. He had gotten old in his mind. He had become the very thing we used to make fun of, with his beer-belly and tv addiction.

Having undertaken numerous attempts to bring him into this century, we finally gave up. We spoke to a shrink about it, who told us that Ferd was ‘demented’. Laughing out loud when the doctor spoke the word, we drove immediately to the home of Ferd to treport the findings.

“I am NOT demendet,” he insisted. His inability to say the word properly resulted in even more laughter and this was weeks or months after the Opie Incident. Since then, he asks regularly how to spell ‘demendet,’ so he can look it up and see if he really is. We do not give him that satisfaction.

 

One thing to consider here is that Ferd is probably the only person we know who we can post a photo of on the internet and he does not care. He does not have the internet. We created an email address for him and encourage him regularly to get a PC from the Veterans Administration or go to the library, even if it is just to watch videos of Bob Dylan or Barney. We tell him that we write about him but he is unphased. He does not care.

That is typical of Ferd, as one thing we can say on a positive note, is that he has never been known to do harm to anyone. He is pretty much incapable of being mean. He is too dumb. We will tell him we wrote this and posted his photo and he will blow it off like yesterday’s fish and chip papers. At least he remains himself and maintains his own character – which is a lot more than we can say for most people these days.

Some Good Reasons To Buy Beatdom Issue 9

Cats and Kittens, Cherished Readers,

Open minds that have no leaders,

We return to you today after quite a long break in the action, although we see you have been reading daily and we appreciate the patronage!

Our disappearance was caused due to the fact that Your Humble Narrator is now Co-Publisher of Beatdom Books and we published our first two exciting volumes in the month of July…Beatdom Issue Nine and Zoning by Spencer Kansa, which we shall tell you about in the next blog.

     So why buy the new Beatdom? Ten dollars…one dollar per reason…as we have changed the format to that of a more traditional literary journal and also have gone to black and white, save for the excellent cover illustration by R.H.Harper, an excellent Philadelphia artist.

     First and foremost, you will find a lot of great writing from our regular crew of writers, as well as some new faces. We have new, yes NEW, photos of Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs and Norman Mailer which have never been published before and were donated to us by the remarkable Jerry Aronson, whose DVD, The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg is reviewed at length, as well as a review of the PBS Naked Lens film by filmmaker Yony Leyser,  William S. Burroughs: A Man Within. You can find reviews of both of them on this blog space if you use the search function but the review in Beatdom, with the photos from Jerry, make an exceptionally fine piece.

     The cover is so nice that you will be sure to look hip while reading it, so that is a reason in itself and it is a real conversation starter…just look at that cover…and there are numerous other great illustrations inside…you may ascertain from the cover that this is our ‘Drugs’ issue, so we have a number of articles with a droogy theme, as well as straight essays and poetry.

     …which brings us to yet another reason, which is the excellent fiction by Katy Gurin, Chuck Taylor and Dan Leo (as well as by Your Humble Narrator) and the accompanying illustrations and art by award-winning filmmaker Waylon Bacon and Haydn Lock.

     Then, we have the scholarly studies from around the world, like the essay on Hunter S. Thompson in Kentucky, by Rory Feehan in Ireland, and a detailed look at Mr. Burroughs’ forays into the jungles of South America in search of yage by Nick Meador and Geetanjali Joshi Mishra’s insightful look at Allen Ginsberg, From Ganja To God, about the late poet’s experiences with ganja in India, and a look at Burroughs’ groundbreaking work with yage by David S, Wills, our fearless leader.

     We have poetry smuggled out of the heart of a womens’ prison, poetry about addiction and poetry about supermarkets, plus more poetry, for the verse-lovers in the crowd.

     Another fine reason to buy this treasure-trove of Beat knowledge and enjoyable fiction and poetry, as we mentioned earlier, is that we have made it available at the ridiculously low price of $9.99 a copy, plus $2 for shipping…that is two dollars in America and two euros for international customers. Our first copy was sent to a reader in Australia…if you order quickly (www.beatdom.com) you may even get your copy before the first one hits the land down under.  We have squeezed the large, airplane-browsing-sized, full colour issues into a standard format literary journal, so it is easy to keep in pocket or purse. In fact, we dare you to find something better to read at that price and if you find something even half as hip, we want to know about it.

    This is actually an old reason, but Beatdom is the world’s most popular Beat-themed literary journal. We have readers on every continent except Antartica and we may open an office there just to stimulate sales…when we have the cash, that is…which may be a while since we only hope to break even on this endeavor…as has always been the case with Beatdom, all along…we are not here to get rich on your hard-earned book money. We are here to keep the Beat spirit alive and let you know what is happening in the world of Beatdom.

     This issue was printed and bound by the prestigious Sheridan Press. We chose them so that we could offer you the best in quality, not just in the writing and art but in the reproduction of such fine work. Sheridan is a venerable force in the publishing industry, printer of the best among literary journals…and that is why we chose them to bring you the finest Beatdom possible.

     It will not be online for immediate free download, like the older, more expensive issues were. It will be in the future - but at the moment, the only way to see it is to open a copy and start enjoying yourself. To older readers, consider this a literary take on ZAP Comix…great art, good messages and hip from beginning to end.

      Also, check out the cover illustration for David Wills’ upcoming (on Beatdom Books) novel The Dog Farm. You may have heard recent news about the glow-in-the-dark dogs which were created by those krazy koreans but Mr. Wills gives you a whole new view of South Korea.

    So what are you waiting for? You can buy it with check, money order or Paypal. Orders paid with check or money order will be shipped once funds have cleared, which is overnight in the day of instant wire transfer…so take a chance…don’t be a mooncalf, don’t be a fuddy duddy…get hip and get yourself a copy of Beatdom Issue Nine…it may sell out before you get the chance…

Final Installment of K2 Khronickles

     Fearless Readers, we have come to the end of an era of sorts, a very short era – the era of legal THC.  We missed our chance to get in on the legal LSD up until 1967 and this gave us a chance to try new drugs and see what we could see with the aid of them.  Now, the shelves are empty and we still have seen no legal notice of a final rule in the Federal Register.  The media won, again.

     There will be more fake marijuana products coming down the line.  They are already available in some places.  It is sort of like when the US made amphetamine use illegal and spawned the multi-million-untaxed-dollars-a-year ‘meth’ market.  Smith Kline and French could have made a mint with their Dexedrine Spansules or the good old Bi-Phetamine 20s (the original ‘black beauties’) and taxes would have been paid on every purchase, at one level or other, and they could even have been regulated.  Now, every bucktoothed hillbilly from here to Sheboygan and beyond is making ‘fake’ speed in bathtubs, sinks and even in moving vehicles.  No taxes get paid on this stuff and it is a thousand times more dangerous than the real thing, which is given to students in grade school for treatment of ADHD.

     Recently, we took some Roxanol brand morphine and noticed that the pills are banana flavored.  This makes them a nice match for the grape flavored dexedrine tablets, called Adderall, which is what the kids in school get.  What a lovely, fruity combination!  What spells ‘gateway’ better than candy-covered, mind-altering drugs? 

     Not anybody can sell these confectionary compounds.  It costs a lot of money to make grape flavored speed; only big corporations who can pay off the officials we elect are allowed to sell stuff like that.  Imagine the fuss if a parent were to suggest the inherent danger in coating powerful chemicals with Pandora’s powder of sweet, sweet, sugary goodness.  Imagine the outrage over all those young lives lost to swallowing sweets.  It would be even worse than our upcoming diabetes epidemic, scheduled tentatively for 2020…but this ain’t pot so that will never happen.  Just one of life’s little ironies.

     Gentle Readers, you may have any opinion you wish as regards these substances. If you are for them or against them, you can find plenty of support online in chatrooms full of people who share your views.  One funny thing about the chatrooms, websites, organizations and other entities that concern themselves with such subjects – there really is no correct answer or proper view.  There is always a question-mark hanging over all participants and nobody logs off with a real, concrete answer…more often, a feeling of anxiety lingers.

     Many find this lack of answers to be quite frustrating.  Most frustrated are the majority of us, who are lied to, manipulated, bought, sold and shoveled shit to, by the media.  Less frustrated are the so-called power brokers who create and develope the standards by which we are ruled. Ruled.  That is the status of the K2 law…pre-rule.  The rule never made it to print in the Federal Register so it is technically still legal, if you do your own homework and use documents provided by the government.  Ask anybody and they will tell you it is illegal, however, because they saw it on the news or on the web.  If it is on one of those places, it has to be true…no?

     You can’t fool all of the people all of the time…how many times have we heard that?  It doesn’t matter, just so long as you fool most of them.  As long as the majority is confused, people foolish enough to waste time spewing the honest truth can say all they want; they have been diffused.  They can tell the truth all they want and the bad guys will still fuck us all over.  People do have memories, though.  Honesty always prevails, eventually, but much suffering has occurred throughout history while waiting for honesty to prevail.  It takes time.

     We have reached a tipping point, in many ways.  The world’s foremost scientists say we have passed the tipping point, in terms of saving the planet from we humans.  Whales are getting sunburns because the ozone is so thin, which is documented fact, while our leaders tell us they still have no concrete evidence that global warming exists.  This is why we should not follow leaders.

     We feel bad for those Dear Readers who have children that will have to face the rapidly deteriorating quality of life in the Western World.  The Eastern World will probably just be getting the final touches of their infrastructures in place when the big shoe finally falls.  You can develop India and Bangla Desh all you want but they will still be underwater, with most of Florida,  if ocean levels rise two more inches.  It is just a matter of so much more melted snow and the polar bears are running out of room already.

     Then there will be mass migrations to the USA and there will be even less to go around.  American Dream – yes, that is what it is.  There is no future here unless things take a drastic and dramatic turn.  As complacent as society has become, all the drama has moved to Congress, a place where level heads lose to cheap dramatics.

     So, with so many things sucking so badly, we close the folder on the K2 Khronikles in order to focus on other, more pertinent issues.  We will report any new laws or findings or anecdotal information we come across, as regards K2, Spice, Mr. NiceGuy, Black Mambo and the others, of course.  The subject has not fallen completely off our radar.

     We shall return and we shall still be Celebrating 50 Years of Substance Abuse but we will take the forum in a slightly different direction, as you, Gentle Friends and Fiendish Foes, will see.

More Rights Down the Drain. Police Can Search Without A Warrant. NORML Stands By.

     Dearest Readers,

     Today we have more news on why AmeriKa is becoming less and less of the great country it once was.

     The Supreme Court has such a bone on for reefer that they are changing basic seacrh and siezure laws so that a cop can claim they smelled the odour of pot coming from your residence and kick your door down. If you live in an apartment and the person in the apartment next to you is omitting the smell of burning reefers, then they can kick your door in because ‘it smelled like it was coming from there.’  This is getting bad and they wonder why politicians are getting shot in the head. Laws like this will cause a lot more shootings and I will KILL anybody who forces their way into my home for any reason. I have the firepower and I am getting old, with not too much to lose…this from the ‘hempnews’…

Supreme Court Looks At Smell-Based Home Searches For Pot

by admin

January 19, 2011 – Police smelling marijuana coming from behind an apartment door can enter the home without a warrant if they believe the evidence is being destroyed, some U.S. Supreme Court Justices said on Wednesday.

More than 60 years ago, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police couldn’t enter a residence without a warrant just because they smelled burning opium, reports Adam Liptak at The New York Times.

On Wednesday, during the argument of a case about what police were entitled to do upon smelling marijuana outside the door of a Kentucky apartment, two justices were concerned that the Court may be ready to eviscerate the 1948 ruling which stemmed from a Seattle case.

​ “Aren’t we just simply saying they can just walk in whenever they smell marijuana, whenever they think there’s drugs on the other side?” asked Justice Sonia Sotomayor, considering what a decision against the defendant would tell the police. “Why do even bother giving them a search warrant?”

The old ruling, Johnson v. United States, involved the search of a Seattle hotel room. The smell of drugs could provide probably cause for a warrant, Justice Robert H. Jackson wrote for the majority, but it did not entitle police to enter without one.

“No suspect was fleeing or likely to take flight,” Justice Jackson wrote. “The search was of permanent premises, not of a movable vehicle. No evidence or contraband was threatened with removal or destruction.”

Since the War On Drugs was re-started by President Ronald Reagan in the 1980s, the Supreme Court has steadily given police more leeway to search cars, travelers and baggage, reports David Savage at the Los Angeles Times. But the justices have been reluctant to allow searches of homes without a warrant.

In the new case, Kentucky v. King, police in Kentucky were looking for a suspect who had sold cocaine to an informant. They smelled burning marijuana coming from another apartment — where Hollis King and his friends were smoking marijuana — knocked loudly, and announced themselves.

When they heard sounds coming from inside that made them think evidence was being destroyed, they kicked the door in and found marijuana, cocaine, King, two friends, and some cash, but not the original suspect, who was in another apartment.

King was sentenced to 11 years(!) in prison, but the Kentucky Supreme Court overturned his conviction and threw out the evidence, ruling that any risk of drugs’ being destroyed was the result of the decision by police to knock and announce themselves rather than to obtain a warrant. The Kentucky court ruled that officers had entered the apartment illegally and that the evidence they found should not have been considered in court, reports Robert Barnes at The Washington Post.

The key issue is whether an “exigent” or emergency circumstance allows the police to enter a residence without a warrant. Sadly but no longer shockingly, Obama Administration lawyers joined the case on the side of Kentucky’s prosecutors.

The police who broke into the apartment “reasonably believed that there was destruction of evidence occurring inside,” said Ann O’Connell, an assistant to Obama’s Solicitor General.

Prosecutors for Kentucky and the federal government told the justices Wednesday that the Kentucky court had erred. They claimed there had been no violation of the Fourth Amendment, which bars unreasonable searches, because they claimed police had “acted lawfully.”

​But Justice Elena Kagan had doubts about that approach.

If the court looks only at the lawfulness of police behavior, Justice Kagan said, that “is going to enable the police to penetrate the home, to search the home, without a warrant, without going to see a magistrate, in a very wide variety of cases.”

All the police would need to say, Justice Kagan said, is that they smelled marijuana and then heard a noise. “Or,” she added, “we think there was some criminal activity going on for whatever reason and we heard noise.”

“How do you prevent your test from essentially eviscerating the warrant requirement in the context of the one place that the Fourth Amendment was most concerned about?” Kagan asked Kentucky Assistant Attorney General Joshua D. Farley, who claimed the police had done nothing that violated the Fourth Amendment.

Justice Sotomayor was even more direct, asking “Aren’t we just doing away with ‘Johnson’?”

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg asked why the police could not simply roam the hallways of apartment buildings, sniffing for pot, knocking whenever they smelled marijuana, then breaking in if they “hear something suspicious.”

“That would be perfectly fine,” Kentucky Assistant Atttorney General Farley replied.

Justice Antonin Scalia revealed some unflattering things about his worldview — which, God help us, seems to be that of a judgmental 10-year-old — as he said he was not troubled by the standard the government lawyers proposed. He said that police can’t go wrong by knocking loudly on the door.

“There are a lot of constraints on law enforcement,” Justice Scalia said, “and the one thing that it has going for it is that criminals are stupid.”

Scalia said that “criminals” often cooperate with police when not legally required to do so. They might open the door and let officers inside — and if not, the police can break in, he said.

“Everything done was perfectly lawful,” Scalia said. “It’s unfair to the criminal? Is that the problem? I really don’t understand the problem.”

Poetry Corner (Warning XXX Explicit Material. Parents Be Warned!)

     Leering Letches and Creepy Crawldaddies,

     Today we ask our Gentle Readers to harken back to those wonderful days when porn was on paper and could be hidden under the mattress. The Golden Age of Porn produced many unique publications, such as the pictured issue of Al Goldstein’s National Screw.

     National Screw, like Playboy, was not only rife with lascivious and salacious material but was found to be ‘socially redeeming,’ thanks to essays by contributors such as William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg and other highly-respected literary figures of the time. The upcoming issue of Beatdom takes aim at the same concept, only without showing close-ups of moist, pink labia in between photos of serious authors. With magazines like these, the joke used to be, “I only buy it for the articles.” 

     Good, old smut has pretty much gone the way of the web, with programmes available which allow a user to insert penis into a device which simulates the sensations of the sex act, while watching a video that is synched-up to the ‘pleasure portal’. Just too weird for us at CFYSA…not only does it take away the fantasy that served as stimulus to ‘yank the carrot’, it masturbates you, too.  There are limits to what is good about being a DIY, ‘Do It Yourselfer’.

      That said, we are not sure what kids do these days. In the waning decades of the last century, sex was a popular way for men and women to pass time together. A common way to find and engage a partner in sex was to go to the public park system with beer and pot. Sitting on the lawn, near the parkinglot, a hedonistic type could smoke pot, become inebriated and when an attractive member of the opposite gender passed, ask her if ‘you want to party?’  Most often, we sat on the lawn along the lot, inbetween the parked cars and the Ladies rest rooms, in order to catch more traffic.

     One bright, sunny day, in the company of an idiot and former acquaintance named Chuck, we sucked down Rolling Rock beers and waited to meet some ‘company’. We were rather drunk that early Spring afternoon and our luck was not with us. Halter tops were a popular article of clothing for women to wear at the time and they were a good thing, in that they allowed a partial view of the breasts of the woman who wore one.

     A number of beers into the ‘party,’ Chuck (who is now a red-nosed, fat bastard who cannot even see his toes without a mirror) had a revelation, an inspiration…an original thought! Original thought can be a good thing in the minds of some people. In his mind, the logical conclusion formed that since we, as men, enjoyed the soft, white skin revealed by the halter, then it was only normal that women take just as much pleasure in seeing a bit of scrotum. If they show us theirs, they must want to see ours…this was his logic.

     While the display of wrinkly flesh did not yield results, it was worth a try. Your Humble Narrator did not try sunning his scrotum for fear of blistered balls but did record a partial account of the events of that day. And, so, My Confidantes, today we present a poem which takes us back to those Golden Days of the early 1980s… 

A Day At The Parkway

Jaws of flocks

of the shocked

dropped

as Chuck’s cock flopped

onto the top of the rock.

“Like prunes?” he mocked.

The eyes of the cop

popped

as loose cumdrops slopped,

then dripped down the walls

of his fetid balls.

Me,

I read a book

and pretended not to look.

New Issue of Beatdom Is On The Way

    This is a special edition of CFYSA.

     Issue Number Eight of Beatdom is near completion. This is the sex issue. To the left is the cover of the journal you need to purchase.

     Your Humble Narrator will have a few bits of work published in it, as in the past few issues. Everybody loves sex and everybody loves Beatdom so make sure to order a copy from Amazon.com or directly from www.Beatdom.com , where back issues and free downloads of past issues are available.

     There will be more to come later about this exciting issue. This is one of those ‘be there or be square’ deals, so don’t miss the boat. Be the first one on your block to have a copy. Make the neighbors jealous and read it on your porch!

Why Is The DEA Hawking Marinol for a Non-American Drug Company???

     Gentle Readers,

     Sometimes we see things in life that simply do not make sense. Very often, these things only make sense to the people who are putting cash in their pockets as a result of our blindness and confusion. Most often, we are taken for a ride that never ends, in a rickety vehicle known as the Legislature of the United States government.

     We pay taxes. We follow rules. We play the game. In the meantime, we put our trust in those individuals whom we believe have our best interests at heart. This is why the war on drugs will never end and medical marijuana will never be a national reality. One reason is apathy but it is hard to ignore the blatant misuse of office by those we put behind the big oak desks we could not afford for ourselves.

     As noted in a previous blog, we are lied to since youth about living in ‘one nation…indivisible, with liberty and justice for all’…except it is not for all. It is only for some. It is for the priveleged few. As noted in yet another blog, we elected a president who smokes marijuana himself, lives in a state where he can buy it legally and who gave permission to the goblins at the DEA to over-ride any state laws and sieze and arrest anybody who is sick enough to possess or use the controverisal ‘tempest in a teapot’.

     Obama can legally smoke pot in the White House, per local law. Notice how the DEA does not raid the marijuana stores in Washington, DC, or how you never even see or hear about them in the media, as you do with the ones in California. If Obama has anxiety and stress from the duties of office, he should pop a pill, not stoke a bowl, right?

     The DEA is supposed to be a US governement agency. Why do they advertise drugs from other countries as a cure to the lame, legislative tactics which are wasting millions of dollars a day…just think of one million dollars and one day to spend it. Don’t you wish somebody would elect you to waste money at such an accelerated rate? We are referring to the billions upon billions of dollars spent every year to stop you -THE VOTER – from enjoying the same rights as those morons you voted for.

     Consider the attached. It is disquised as information but it is one of the more well-written advertisements you will see coming out of the marketing world today. It is false, self-serving, possibly illegal for an agency to endorse a product and, best of all – you are paying for it!

     Remember that the company which makes Marinol is in Belgium, yet they pay a lobbyist agency to give cash ‘rewards’ to those people you voted for. Do you ever wonder how much money NORML, the make-believe Political Action Commitee which pushes pot legislation uses in its grand efforts to make things legal? Since 2001, the NORML PAC has contributed less than $44,000 to lobbying efforts. Compare this with the cash spent in Washington by marijuana’s biggest opponent, Big Pharma, at the rate ot $127 million in six months.

     Based on these figures, provided by the Fed itself, large drug companies have spent 5,772 times the amount that NORML did in the same decade to line the pockets of our corrupt leaders. Naturally, this does not all represent anti-marijuana lobbying but you must admit that any legal herbal cure is a big threat to the bottomline of the pharmceuticals.

     One fact that bothers me is that, in 2007, the makers of Marinol gave more to elected officials than NORML did in the whole decade. One fact that bothers me is that the PAC which is influencing our elected officials is spending Belgian money against American money…why does a Belgian drug company want to control our laws, or have a voice in them? The company which manufactures Marinol is, in itself, a PAC. Does that disturb you? It really should, if you care about your own country.

     I have belonged to two chapters of NORML. As a member, I made cash donations to both chapters of NORML. I never got a receipt and I never saw any accounting that shows the donation was used by NORML, much less how it was used. More and more, it seems like NORML is the perfect foil for the anti-pot government. They make some noise, don’t spend money and run from police when chased. Either way, they are as ineffectual as a flashlight on the sun. They are nice places to meet people who get high and to act like you are doing something positive but where are the accomplishments? There is no juice.

     Anyway, this is what the makers of Marinol got from the DEA for the cash they give them every year. I hope you enjoy reading it and seeing the information that is used to make our decisions for us since we cannot be trusted to have a free will…

“Medical” Marijuana – The Facts

• Medical marijuana already exists. It’s called Marinol.

• A pharmaceutical product, Marinol, is widely available through prescription. It comes in the form of a pill and is also being studied by researchers for suitability via other delivery methods, such as an inhaler or patch. The active ingredient of Marinol is synthetic THC, which has been found to relieve the nausea and vomiting associated with chemotherapy for cancer patients and to assist with loss of appetite with AIDS patients.

• Unlike smoked marijuana–which contains more than 400 different chemicals, including most of the hazardous chemicals found in tobacco smoke-Marinol has been studied and approved by the medical community and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), the nation’s watchdog over unsafe and harmful food and drug products. Since the passage of the 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act, any drug that is marketed in the United States must undergo rigorous scientific testing. The approval process mandated by this act ensures that claims of safety and therapeutic value are supported by clinical evidence and keeps unsafe, ineffective and dangerous drugs off the market.

• There are no FDA-approved medications that are smoked. For one thing, smoking is generally a poor way to deliver medicine. It is difficult to administer safe, regulated dosages of medicines in smoked form. Secondly, the harmful chemicals and carcinogens that are byproducts of smoking create entirely new health problems. There are four times the level of tar in a marijuana cigarette, for example, than in a tobacco cigarette

• Morphine, for example, has proven to be a medically valuable drug, but the FDA does not endorse the smoking of opium or heroin. Instead, scientists have extracted active ingredients from opium, which are sold as pharmaceutical products like morphine, codeine, hydrocodone or oxycodone. In a similar vein, the FDA has not approved smoking marijuana for medicinal purposes, but has approved the active ingredient-THC-in the form of scientifically regulated Marinol.

• The DEA helped facilitate the research on Marinol. The National Cancer Institute approached the DEA in the early 1980s regarding their study of THC’s in relieving nausea and vomiting. As a result, the DEA facilitated the registration and provided regulatory support and guidance for the study.

• The DEA recognizes the importance of listening to science. That’s why the DEA has registered seven research initiatives to continue researching the effects of smoked marijuana as medicine. For example, under one program established by the State of California, researchers are studying the potential use of marijuana and its ingredients on conditions such as multiple sclerosis and pain. At this time, however, neither the medical community nor the scientific community has found sufficient data to conclude that smoked marijuana is the best approach to dealing with these important medical issues.

• The most comprehensive, scientifically rigorous review of studies of smoked marijuana was conducted by the Institute of Medicine, an organization chartered by the National Academy of Sciences. In a report released in 1999, the Institute did not recommend the use of smoked marijuana, but did conclude that active ingredients in marijuana could be isolated and developed into a variety of pharmaceuticals, such as Marinol.

• In the meantime, the DEA is working with pain management groups, such as Last Acts, to make sure that those who need access to safe, effective pain medication can get the best medication available.

The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg

     Readers, Speeders and Bottomfeeders, welcome All to another day in the Land of the Blog.  Today, we are fortunate in that we do not have to think of a subject for the blog. It arrived by post yesterday, courtesy of Academy Award Nominated Director Jerry Aronson. It is the new release, rather the new incarnation, of his 2006 documentary, The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg, now released on DVD as a director’s cut with newly updated, unseen footage. It is an excellent package!

     We are psyched!

     Mr. Aronson spent over 25 years collecting and creating 120 hours of film on Mr. Ginsberg, which was distilled into this great flick. It begins 60 years ago with the forming of the firmament of the Beat movement/era of writing, following the Beats from the last century to the influence still wielded by their words in this, still new, 21st Century. Writing that was sort of like thinking of the mission statement of Beatdom, the international Beat journal, published by David S. Wills, who was kind enough to introduce me to Mr. Aronson.

     Along with the biographical and historical material, the film is chockful of treats, like Ginsberg reading selected poems, the film record of Bob Dylan and Ginsberg’s famed visit to the grave of Jack Kerouac, Ginsberg interacting with Neal Cassady and William S. Burroughs, the making of the music video The Ballad of the Skeletons and many other wonderful features.     

     The exclusive interviews are one part we especially look forward to…interviews with Joan Baez, Beck, Bono, William Burroughs, Johnny Depp, Philip Glass, Abbie Hoffman, Jack Johnson, Ken Kesy, Timothy Leary, Paul McCartney (?), Thurston Moore, Yoko Ono, Ed Sanders, Patti Smith, Hunter S. Thompson and more!!! That is enough to make anybody want to go out and buy it right there.

     The work of Allen Ginsberg is especially important in today’s shadowy, spy world of Amerika. His investigations into the drug trafficking by the CIA under the auspices of our own government should have woken more people up back when he was doing his research but it is especially important today, that we keep an eye on the creeps (as opposed to the CREEP of Nixon) who are sabotaging the integrity of our very way of life through dirty tricks and nasty treatment of good people.

     This film should be of important interest to anyone who considers themself to be an activist or is involved in trying to change some archaic laws which are hobbling this country into last place on the list of free countries. Those who are trying to legalize marijuana should learn a lesson from the Poet, as well as gain insight into just how screwed up the government has gotten our collective states of affairs.

     Howl, the seminal work he is best known for, opened a crack, a schism in the the collective consciousness which led to repeal of laws barring publications dealing with sex, drugs and other fun, but sordid, topics. If not for Howl,  Naked Lunch  by William S. Burroughs and the trials of Lenny Bruce, we would not enjoy things we have today, things which we do not always consider when thinking about freedom of speech…like the burdgeoning comedy scene of the past four decades and current truthtellers like Lewis Black, Sarah Silverman, the late George Carlin and anybody else, from Lisa Simpson to Tony Soprano, who never would have seen the light of day before theesse draconian laws were changed.

     As draconian as the pot laws are today, free speech was even a bigger hurdle and the bravery and selflessness of the Americans who fought for that right, against their own government, deserves a monument just as large as the one which celebrates our ’taking’ of Iwo Jima.   

    This is a must-see for anybody who is interested in poetics, history and getting the heavy foot of Uncle Sam off of our backs!!!

     Go buy it on Amazon!

Still Legal But K2 Users Bluffed By Media

     A Happy New Year to all you people who enjoy reading this stuff. We have tried to amuse you in 2010 and hope we can hold your interest in the months and years ahead.

     Today we have the picture of the sexy librarian. Librarians are as sexy as it gets, since they have the power to ‘shush’ you but there is more to it than a fine finger pressed against pursed lips, warning you to shut up. Librarians are sexy because of what they know. They like banned books. They are often political and active in the community and in just plain life. They help breed that vanishing quantity…intelligence.

     What does being sexy in the stacks have to do with the consumption of intoxicants, one may ask. The access to knowledge is powerful. Take the K2-JWH thing. The newspapers, radio, television and internet were abuzz with news about how the dangerous and soothing substance was banned as of December 24. In the meantime, it is still legal and probably will be, at the very least, until Congress convenes on January 6.

     The newspapers lie. The internet lies. The news channels lie. The networks lie…take CBS, for instance…they make a ton, literally wheelbarrows full of cash from Pfizer, manufacturer of Robitussin. In April of 2009, Pfizer spent over $6.2 million just on cash handouts to the folks you elected to make the laws in DC. They will spend over a trillion dollars, by conservative estimates, by the end of this decade, assuring that things like medical marijuana or smokable herbal remedies are illegal and kids are ‘robo-tripping’ by guzzling the hallucinogenic cough syrup.

     Some kids build little ‘stills’ to extract the groovy juice and ingest it. Many get very violent. I personally know a twenty year old girl, a lovely child I watched grow up, suck down the robo until she was so whacked that she attempted murder. Now she sits in a state prison, her son lost to the system, her life a shambles…but Pfizer is sure to turn a profit this year. The next biggest spender of lobbyist dollars in DC is General Electric, gee, what a coincidence…General Electric, which runs the huge military/industrial complex President Eisenhower warned us about, also owns NBC and, consequently, NBC News!

     The two biggest ruiners of life in the country have the highest profiles by running their own communications networks and feeding us any news they want to concoct and people worry about Fox News? I watch the news from Asia and the BBC. They have a bit less of the old brainwash mixed in.

     CBS is especially hypocritical. My favorite american tv show is The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Craig is the most hip and intellectual talking head in the business. He can talk literature, comedy, philosophy and the arts. He often likes to hold forth on the topic of substance abuse and addiction. It seems he was hooked for about ten years. Well, Craigy, I hate to say it but so was ninety per cent of everybody who went to high school in the 1970s. You are really not so special, in your short run at addiction, although you play it for laughs with the gusto of a William S. Burroughs, who was an actual needle-using addict for decade upon decade and never went soft and said it was a bad idea.

     Anyway, if Craig really stood for his convictions about how drugs ruin youth, he ought to put his foot down about that Robotussin commercial they play when he goes to commercial break. Sure, it would be cutting his own throat but he would have what he claims he has now – self-respect…well, he often claims to have none, really, but that is his charm. We love Craig, wimp or not.

     The point here is…maybe in the New Year ahead, Gentle Readers, we can all expand our earthly knowledge by looking into things closely and not living off of sound bytes that the Illuminati want us to hear. Let us open the documents which the reports are based on, like we opened The Federal Register to find out that K2 and JWH are still wholly and completely legal in most states while we have all been told that they have been illegal for a week.

     In other words, we need to step out of the herd and stop being hapless sheep. Don’t count on organizations like NORML or the Willie Nelson Party. NORML has not done very much since it’s inception in the 1970s. Look at the statistics… less people got arrested before NORML. I have also yet to hear of a NORML victory. From what I witnessed in my brief affiliation with the organization, two out of the three chapters in my state are useless and, very unwisely, careless. I have hope for Willie Nelson and the brains who are behind his party. If they can get a big concert and a show of unity that would impress the next president of the country, legal pot could stand a chance in america.

     Lenny Bruce suggested ‘the marijuana mayor’ back in the 1950s. He was ahead of his time in so many ways. How many of the people who got fooled by Obama thought he would be the one who was liberal enough to take a stand, since he IS a user? Another example of the networks telling you what to do…first Bush, now Obama…what about the opinion of the common person, the voter?

     At this point, it is like LSD in 1967. It is still legal but it is in a grey area. I often wished I had been old enough in 1967 to have taken the legal LSD, just for the sense of history. Now, scientists at Purdue University are allowed to produce 1000 doses of LSD a year, to test the efficacy of it’s use on cluster headaches. After all these years, they admit that it is a useful drug…although the CIA has known it all along and uses it to heighten the effects of torture on people in Gitmo Bay and other secret dungeons around the world. They are also using it to enhance extra sensory perception (ESP), in order to spy better. They took a good drug, made it illegal and then brought it out of the closet for the most hideous of purposes…the cluster headache study is most likely a front so the CIA and other mindcontrolling entities have access to a good strong, legal source.

     From cluster headaches to clusterfucks, you can be sure the spooks who decide what the people we elected do for extra cash do not want you to read. So make an effort to read more in 2011 for your good and the good of this once-great country.

    Happy? New Year!!!

The Federal Register…Keep On Buying K2!!!

No funny pics today, kiddos, just hard news…or lack of it…please find below, Gentle Readers, the text of the Federal Register. It has not been updated since 11/24/2010, which means that all K2, Spice and JWH products are fully legal in those states which have not been so shortsighted as to ban them.

If you need a nap halfway through, snooze away. This stuff makes me sleepier than the K2 itself!!!!

[Federal Register: November 24, 2010 (Volume 75, Number 226)]
[Proposed Rules]
[Page 71635-71638]
From the Federal Register Online via GPO Access [wais.access.gpo.gov]
[DOCID:fr24no10-45]                         

=======================================================================
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DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

Drug Enforcement Administration

21 CFR Part 1308

[Docket No. DEA-345N]

Schedules of Controlled Substances: Temporary Placement of Five
Synthetic Cannabinoids Into Schedule I

AGENCY: Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), U.S. Department of
Justice.

ACTION: Notice of Intent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

SUMMARY: The Deputy Administrator of the Drug Enforcement
Administration (DEA) is issuing this notice of intent to temporarily
place five synthetic cannabinoids into the Controlled Substances Act
(CSA) pursuant to the temporary scheduling provisions under 21 U.S.C.
811(h) of the CSA. The substances are 1-pentyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole
(JWH-018), 1-butyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole (JWH-073), 1-[2-(4-
morpholinyl)ethyl]-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole (JWH-200), 5-(1,1-
dimethylheptyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol (CP-47,497), and
5-(1,1-dimethyloctyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol
(cannabicyclohexanol; CP-47,497 C8 homologue). This intended action is
based on a finding by the DEA Deputy

[[Page 71636]]

Administrator that the placement of these synthetic cannabinoids into
Schedule I of the CSA is necessary to avoid an imminent hazard to the
public safety. Finalization of this action will impose criminal
sanctions and regulatory controls of Schedule I substances under the
CSA on the manufacture, distribution, possession, importation, and
exportation of these synthetic cannabinoids.

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CONTACT: Christine A. Sannerud, Ph.D., Chief,
Drug and Chemical Evaluation Section, Office of Diversion Control, Drug
Enforcement Administration, 8701 Morrissette Drive, Springfield, VA
22152, telephone (202) 307-7183, fax (202) 353-1263, or e-mail
ode@dea.usdoj.gov.

SUPPLEMENTARY INFORMATION:

Background

    The Comprehensive Crime Control Act of 1984 (Pub. L. 98-473), which
was signed into law on October 12, 1984, amended section 201 of the CSA
(21 U.S.C. 811) to give the Attorney General the authority to
temporarily place a substance into Schedule I of the CSA for one year
without regard to the requirements of 21 U.S.C. 811(b) if he finds that
such action is necessary to avoid imminent hazard to the public safety.
The Attorney General may extend the temporary scheduling up to six
months. A substance may be temporarily scheduled under the emergency
provisions of the CSA if it is not listed in any other schedule under
section 202 of the CSA (21 U.S.C. 812) or if there is no exemption or
approval in effect under 21 U.S.C. 355 for the substance. The Attorney
General has delegated his authority under 21 U.S.C. 811 to the
Administrator of DEA (28 CFR 0.100). The Administrator has redelegated
this function to the Deputy Administrator, pursuant to 28 CFR, appendix
to subpart R, section 12.
    Section 201(h)(4) of the CSA (21 U.S.C. 811(h)(4)) requires the
Deputy Administrator to notify the Assistant Secretary for Health,
delegate of the Secretary of Health and Human Services, of her
intention to temporarily place a substance into Schedule I of the CSA.
Comments submitted by the Assistant Secretary for Health in response to
this notification, including whether there is an exemption or approval
in effect for the substance in question under the Federal Food, Drug
and Cosmetic Act, shall be taken into consideration before a final
order is published.
    In making a finding that placing a substance temporarily into
Schedule I of the CSA is necessary to avoid an imminent hazard to the
public safety, the Deputy Administrator is required to consider three
of the eight factors set forth in section 201(c) of the CSA (21 U.S.C.
811(c)). These factors are as follows: (4) History and current pattern
of abuse; (5) The scope, duration and significance of abuse; and (6)
What, if any, risk there is to the public health.

Synthetic Cannabinoids

    Synthetic cannabinoids have been developed over the last 30 years
for research purposes to investigate the cannabinoid system. No
legitimate non-research uses have been identified for these synthetic
cannabinoids. They have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration for human consumption. These THC-like synthetic
cannabinoids, 1-pentyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole (JWH-018), 1-butyl-3-(1-
naphthoyl)indole (JWH-073), 1-[2-(4-morpholinyl)ethyl]-3-(1-
naphthoyl)indole (JWH-200), 5-(1,1-dimethylheptyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-
hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol (CP-47,497), and 5-(1,1-dimethyloctyl)-2-
[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol (cannabicyclohexanol; CP-47,497 C8
homologue), are so termed for their THC-like pharmacological
properties. Though they have similar properties to delta-9-
tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) found in marijuana and have been found to be
more potent than THC in animal studies. Numerous herbal products have
been analyzed and JWH-073, JWH-018, JWH-200, CP-47,497, and
cannabicyclohexanol have been identified in varying mixture profiles
and amounts spiked on plant material.

Factor 4. History and Current Pattern of Abuse

    The emergence of these synthetic cannabinoids represents a recent
phenomenon in the designer drug market. Since the initial
identification of JWH-018 in December 2008, many additional synthetic
cannabinoids with purported psychotropic effects have been identified
in related products. The popularity of these THC-like synthetic
cannabinoids has greatly increased in the United States and they are
being abused for their psychoactive properties. Primarily found laced
on plant material, these synthetic cannabinoids are also being abused
alone as self-reported on Internet discussion boards. This abuse has
been characterized by both acute and long term public health and safety
problems. Even though there is no accepted use for these synthetic
cannabinoids, multiple shipments of JWH-018 and JWH-073 have been
intercepted by U.S. Customs and Border Protection in 2010, with one
being in excess of 50 kilograms. Additionally, bulk loads of JWH-018
and JWH-200 have been seized by law enforcement in 2010. In Casper,
Wyoming, products seized in a raid, which were laced with synthetic
cannabinoids, were found in conjunction with illicit drugs.
    The products containing these THC-like synthetic cannabinoids are
marketed as ``legal'' alternatives to marijuana and are being sold over
the Internet and in tobacco and smoke shops, drug paraphernalia shops,
and convenience stores. These synthetic cannabinoids alone or spiked on
plant material have the potential to be extremely harmful due to their
method of manufacture and high pharmacological potency. DEA has been
made aware that smoking these synthetic cannabinoids for the purpose of
achieving intoxication and experiencing the psychoactive effects is
identified as a reason for emergency room visits and calls to poison
control centers.
    As of October 15, 2010, 15 states in the United States, European
and Scandinavian countries have controlled one or more of the synthetic
cannabinoids DEA is temporarily scheduling here.

Factor 5. Scope, Duration and Significance of Abuse

    According to forensic laboratory reports, the first appearance of
these synthetic cannabinoids in the United States occurred in November
2008, when U.S. Customs and Border Protection analyzed ``Spice''
products. From January 2010 through September 2010, the National
Forensic Laboratory Information System, a national repository of drug
evidence analyses from forensic laboratories across the United States,
reported over 500 exhibits relating to these synthetic cannabinoids
from various States including Alabama, Arkansas, California, Florida,
Hawaii, Iowa, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Minnesota,
Missouri, North Dakota, Nebraska, Nevada, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South
Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia. Additionally, the American
Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC) has reported receiving
over 1,500 calls as of September 27, 2010, relating to products spiked
with these synthetic cannabinoids from 48 states and the District of
Columbia.

[[Page 71637]]

Factor 6. What, if Any, Risk There Is to the Public Health

    JWH-018, JWH-073, JWH-200, CP-47,497, and cannabicyclohexanol share
pharmacological similarities with the Schedule I substance THC. Health
warnings have been issued by numerous state public health departments
and poison control centers describing the adverse health effects
associated with these synthetic cannabinoids and their related products
including agitation, anxiety, vomiting, tachycardia, elevated blood
pressure, seizures, hallucinations and non-responsiveness. Case reports
describe psychotic episodes, withdrawal, and dependence associated with
use of these synthetic cannabinoids, similar to syndromes observed in
cannabis abuse. Emergency room physicians have reported admissions
connected to the abuse of these synthetic cannabinoids. Additionally,
when responding to incidents involving individuals who have reportedly
smoked these synthetic cannabinoids, first responders report that these
individuals suffer from intense hallucinations. Detailed chemical
analysis by DEA and other investigators have found these synthetic
cannabinoids spiked on plant material in products marketed to the
general public. The risk of adverse health effects is further increased
by the fact that similar products vary in the composition and
concentration of synthetic cannabinoids(s) spiked on the plant
material.
    Self-reported abuse of these THC-like synthetic cannabinoids alone
and spiked on plant material appear on Internet discussion boards.
According to self-reports, these substances are cannabis-like (or THC-
like) in their psychoactive effects and are more potent than THC in
this regard. The most common route of administration of these synthetic
cannabinoids is by smoking, using a pipe, water pipe, or rolling the
drug-spiked plant material in cigarette papers.
    The marketing of products that contain one or more of these
synthetic cannabinoids is geared towards teens and young adults.
Despite disclaimers that the products are not intended for human
consumption, retailers promote that routine urinalysis tests will not
typically detect the presence of these synthetic cannabinoids.
    Furthermore, a number of the products and synthetic cannabinoids
appear to originate from foreign sources and are manufactured in the
absence of quality controls and devoid of regulatory oversight. These
products and associated synthetic cannabinoids are readily accessible
via the Internet.
    DEA has considered the three criteria for placing a substance into
Schedule I of the CSA (21 U.S.C. 812). The data available and reviewed
for JWH-073, JWH-018, JWH-200, CP-47,497, and cannabicyclohexanol
indicate that these synthetic cannabinoids each have a high potential
for abuse, no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United
States and are not safe for use under medical supervision.
    Based on the above data, the continued uncontrolled manufacture,
distribution, importation, exportation, and abuse of JWH-018, JWH-073,
JWH-200, CP-47,497, and cannabicyclohexanol pose an imminent hazard to
the public safety. DEA is not aware of any recognized therapeutic uses
of these synthetic cannabinoids in the United States. As required by
section 201(h)(4) of the CSA (21 U.S.C. 811(h)), the Deputy
Administrator in a letter dated October 6, 2010, notified the Assistant
Secretary of Health of the intention to temporarily place five
synthetic cannabinoids in Schedule I.
    In accordance with the provisions of section 201(h) of the CSA (21
U.S.C. 811(h)) and 28 CFR 0.100, the Deputy Administrator has
considered the available data and the three factors required to support
a determination to temporarily schedule five synthetic cannabinoids: 1-
butyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole, 1-pentyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole, 1-[2-(4-
morpholinyl)ethyl]-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole, 5-(1,1-dimethylheptyl)-2-
[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol, and 5-(1,1-dimethyloctyl)-2-
[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol in Schedule I of the CSA and finds
that placement of these synthetic cannabinoids into Schedule I of the
CSA is necessary to avoid an imminent hazard to the public safety.
    Because the Deputy Administrator finds that it is necessary to
temporarily place these synthetic cannabinoids into Schedule I to avoid
an imminent hazard to the public safety, the final order, if issued,
will be effective on the date of publication of the order in the
Federal Register. JWH-018, JWH-073, JWH-200, CP-47,497, and
cannabicyclohexanol will be subject to the regulatory controls and
administrative, civil and criminal sanctions applicable to the
manufacture, distribution, possession, importing and exporting of a
Schedule I controlled substance under the CSA. Further, it is the
intention of the Deputy Administrator to issue such a final order as
soon as possible after the expiration of thirty days from the date of
publication of this notice and the date that notification was
transmitted to the Assistant Secretary for Health.

Regulatory Certifications

Regulatory Flexibility Act

    The Deputy Administrator hereby certifies that this rulemaking has
been drafted in accordance with the Regulatory Flexibility Act (5
U.S.C. 601-612), has reviewed this regulation, and by approving it
certifies that this regulation will not have a significant economic
impact on a substantial number of small entities. This action provides
a notice of intent to temporarily place 1-butyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole,
1-pentyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole, 1-[2-(4-morpholinyl)ethyl]-3-(1-
naphthoyl)indole, 5-(1,1-dimethylheptyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-
hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol, and 5-(1,1-dimethyloctyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-
hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol into Schedule I of the CSA. DEA is not aware
of any legitimate non-research uses for these synthetic cannabinoids in
the United States.

Executive Order 12988

    This regulation meets the applicable standards set forth in
Sections 3(a) and 3(b)(2) of Executive Order 12988 Civil Justice
Reform.

Executive Order 13132

    This rulemaking does not preempt or modify any provision of State
law; nor does it impose enforcement responsibilities on any State; nor
does it diminish the power of any State to enforce its own laws.
Accordingly, this rulemaking does not have federalism implications
warranting the application of Executive Order 13132.

Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995

    This rule will not result in the expenditure by State, local and
tribal governments, in the aggregate, or by the private sector, of
$126,400,000 or more (adjusting for inflation) in any one year, and it
will not significantly or uniquely affect small governments. Therefore,
no actions were deemed necessary under the provisions of the Unfunded
Mandates Reform Act of 1995.

Congressional Review Act

    This rule is not a major rule as defined by 804 of the Small
Business Regulatory Enforcement Fairness Act of 1996 (Congressional
Review Act). This rule will not result in an annual effect on the
economy of $100,000,000 or more; a major increase in costs or prices;
or significant adverse effects on

[[Page 71638]]

competition, employment, investment, productivity, innovation, or on
the ability of United States-based companies to compete with foreign-
based companies in domestic and export markets.

List of Subjects in 21 CFR Part 1308

    Administrative practice and procedure, Drug traffic control,
Reporting and recordkeeping requirements.

    Under the authority vested in the Attorney General by section
201(h) of the CSA (21 U.S.C. 811(h)), and delegated to the Deputy
Administrator of the DEA by Department of Justice regulations (28 CFR
0.100, and section 12 of the Appendix to Subpart R), the Deputy
Administrator hereby intends to order that 21 CFR part 1308 be amended
as follows:

PART 1308--SCHEDULES OF CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES

    1. The authority citation for part 1308 continues to read as
follows:

    Authority:  21 U.S.C. 811, 812, 871(b), unless otherwise noted.

    2. Section 1308.11 is amended by adding new paragraphs (g)(1), (2),
(3), (4), and (5) to read as follows:

Sec.  1308.11  Schedule I.

* * * * *
    (g) * * *
    (1) 5-(1,1-Dimethylheptyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol-
7297
    (Other names: CP-47,497)
    (2) 5-(1,1-Dimethyloctyl)-2-[(1R,3S)-3-hydroxycyclohexyl]-phenol-
7298
    (Other names: cannabicyclohexanol and CP-47,497 C8 homologue)
    (3) 1-Butyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole-7173
    (Other names: JWH-073)
    (4) 1-[2-(4-Morpholinyl)ethyl]-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole-7200
    (Other names: JWH-200)
    (5) 1-Pentyl-3-(1-naphthoyl)indole-7118
    (Other names: JWH-018 and AM678)

    Dated: November 15, 2010.
Michele M. Leonhart,
Deputy Administrator.
[FR Doc. 2010-29600 Filed 11-23-10; 8:45 am]
BILLING CODE 4410-09-P