Thanks to Jennifer Mann and more; Cats on K2

Good Day to you, Jennifer Mann.

     We know you think we hate you because you are trying to take away the personal liberty of many people in Pennsylvania and you have no right to do so and that makes you lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon wheel rut, but we must thank you so much for bringing attention to JWH018 and K2.

     After I heard about your stinky new law, I immediately hopped in my car and drove to YOUR county and bought myself $100 worth of fresh new bags of K2. I was worried that it would all be gone but they have new flavors and have even extended the counterspace.

     While shopping, a couple came in. The woman pointed at some little bottle and told me it was really good, ‘just like bud,’ she said. I pointed to the K2 bags and told her, ‘I get that one because you get three grams for $20 and they are big grams!’. Then her boyfriend interjected, ‘yeah, those are the brand i usually get, too.’ A funny conversation to have with strangers at a mini-mart. See how K2 brings us all together, just like the Beatles?

     So thanks to you Jennifer Mann, even though you are to freedom what NJ Governor Cartman, Chris Christie, is to food – a voracious pig who wants to swallow it all so there is none left for anybody else. Thank you for making me take the chance and try a new brand, which I really like. My cats thank you, too.

     In a previous post, I noted that my cat loved the smell of the K2 when I put it in the bowl. I took my $100 worth of new bags to see the fabulous Ferd. I was already on pot so I wanted a ‘tester’. We started with the ‘Eight Ball’ brand. So far, this one is the best I tasted. Thanks, Jenn. I am higher than ever!

     I was opening the bag, was telling Ferd how much Budderz likes the smell. At that point, his multi-coloured longhair, Wilmelmina, jumped up on the table, showing interest in the activity. Showing her the bag of Eight Ball, I was surprised when she shoved her nose into the bag so hard that it moved everything on that side of the table and knocked my beer to the floor. Then she laid on the table with all four paws splayed out straight from her sides as she rubbed her chin on my leather ‘pouch o goodies’. She loved it, obviously.

     I drove home and when I had smoked more, Budderz came running. I held the bag open and he stuck his head in and started meowing the way he does before I open a can of tuna. He has never begged much and doesn’t even beg for tuna anymore. Now I have to make sure the stuff is in a closed drawer at night so he can’t help himself.

     To be honest, he reacted so strongly that I am afraid to show it to him anymore.

     I must say that one hit of Eight Ball is as good as a bowl of reef and tastes a lot better than other K2 brands, as well. Enjoy while it lasts.

     Which brings us to another topic. Recycling. K2 comes in a plastic back and should be handled responsibly.

Things To Do With Empty K2 Bags —

     *Fill empty K2 bags with marijuana and leave them on the front seat of your car. If an officer sees them, he will think it is legal and cut you a break.

     *Use empty K2 bags for coin pouches or to keep all your cash in. It causes a stir when you are in the check-out line and, if you are a young person, it will be fun to watch your parents’ faces when you pull the bag out…in other words, it is literally a bag of laughs.

     *Take an empty bag, stuff it with fresh, stinky dog feces and stick them in the mailbox of Jennifer Mann, 1227 Liberty Street, Allentown, Room 206. They do not have DNA records on dog poop so it should be ok.

     *Take an empty bag and fill it with more stinky dog excrement and throw it, with about 20 other bags of shit, on the lawn of Jennifer’s house on Fox Meadows Drive. The whole address is in the Allentown phone book but since it is a private residence, we will not post it.

     *Take an empty, heart-shaped candy box. Fill it with, well, you know by now…wrap it up, tape a K2 wrapper on the lid and mail it to Gov Cartman in New Jersey. He is such a hog he will eat the whole box without even noticing. When he sees the K2 wrapper, he will think it is from his pal, Jennifer. Send a few anticeptic toothpicks along, too.

      *Gov Cartman, er Christie, thinks he may be the next president so stuff a half dozen, feces-filled K2 bags and send them to the White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC. Then the ‘big feller’ will have them there waiting for him. Obama will not steal them because he can get legal pot right in Washington, DC, where he made sure it was legal after he moved there.

     *Using a little Scotch brand tape, the K2 bags also make an excellent prophylactic. Tape them on and you are ready to go. The ends are pointy and could cause internal bleeding so only use them when having sex with Jennifer Mann.

     See, folks!!! We can still have fun despite the Manns and the Cartmans! Just remember, these are not nice people – they suck!

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4 Comments

Filed under essays, fiction, news, politics, related subjects, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Thanks to Jennifer Mann and more; Cats on K2

  1. Good fucking lord… What ever happened to freedom of speech? This is hardly an incitement to violence!

    • no, it says ‘inciting online harrassment’ but i don’t think there is such a thing as virtual dog shit yet…well, they used to have the fake kind at a place in the states called Spencers Gifts, that specialized in jokes, like my blog does…but who would ever take me seriously and what does the Postal Service have to do with it, i wonder?
      i am very law-abiding. i pay my taxes and i pay school taxes for kids i never had. i just wish they could get the guy two doors up to take the truck off his lawn because it is against the township code and looks terrible. they told me they can’t enforce noise pollution because they have no equipment to measure decibels, so anything goes around here except free speech.
      who would be crazy enough to actually do the things i write about? if chris chistie chokes on a chickenbone, is it my fault he eats like a pig? i intend to do a blog about him and compare the brain of a crack addict to the brain of an obese person to show the remarkable damage done by the abuse of food and i can’t think of how it is illegal to make fun of a politician? i see it on tv every day and a lot worse stuff than i write.
      as a person under treatment for complications of cancer, emails like that stress me out and it is dangerous to my health! it is a harrassment in itself. i have no idea what i did that is specifically illegal. it just says ‘blogs of this nature’.
      i guess i can ask the american civil liberties union and get the rules. i’ll save that for its own blog.

  2. hi I was luck to approach your website in yahoo
    your post is wonderful
    I learn a lot in your subject really thanks very much
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