Daily Archives: 2011/03/22

Things I Do For Kitties

     Browsers and Meowsers,

     It may sound ridiculous but currently, we live in a house we bought for a cat.  Having bounced around, living in doorways, cars, sofas, spare rooms and all the other dubious choices of habitat…that was alright for me but it is not something a cat should be subjected to.  Cats need windows and birdies to look at through those windows.  They need a regular place to find their bowl.  Were it not for my first kittie, a beautiful Maine Coon named Copernicus (Purrnie),  Your Humble Narrator could still be dwelling who-knows-where.

     The responsibility of the cat settled me down, ending a wild streak of moving from place to place, city to city, over a number of years.  Purrnie outlasted my ex-wife, my parents, several jobs and half a dozen cars.  The only stable force in my life for quite sometime was the cat that met me at the door everytime I arrived home.  Cats can hear your car miles away.  An amazing fact, picked up from Animal Planet, is that your cats cannot only hear your car at least a mile away, it can tell the difference between your car and the exact same model that came off the assembly line immediately before or after your vehicle.  They can tell the difference.

     We fielded some questions from a fervent kittie fanatic recently.  This Beloved Reader reported that “I HAVE A CAT THAT IS NAMED SHADOW IT IS FAT AND LOVEY.”…Now, isn’t that a pleasant thought?  A nice fat kittie!  The reader was also interested in my status and asked these thought-provoking questions, as well, “DO YOU HAVE A CAT YAS OR NO” and “DO YOU LICK CATS YES OR NO”????

     While we do not feel the sense of urgency indicative of a phrase like “YAS OR NO”, we do find the quries to be valid and, in so doing, we address them directly.  Yas, is the first answer, there are two cats living in my house.  One of them, you may have seen part of, as his white, rear tootsies decorate the wallpaper behind this post. 

     Do I LICK MY CATS, yes or no?  While not directly licking them with my tongue,  sometimes I do wet my fingers and pet them in a way that affects them in the way of a washing.  The moisture leads the cat to think it was licked and they usually respond by licking my hand in return.

     Licking cats is one thing but I think more devotion is shown in the care and grooming of Inkie’s butthole.  This is Inkie.  In the seven years Inkie has been here, not once would she keep her eyes open when her picture is snapped.                                                                        

     She is a very pretty girlie-girl of a kittie and, from looking at a ‘breed chart’ at the vet, she has been determined to be mostly Angora.  She has the soft, silky Angora fluff that gets stuck in my eyelashes and the corners of my mouth when I sleep and Inkie gets in my face in her attempts to wake me.  This gorgeous, sleek fur, while making her a little diva, can also cause her a bit of annoyance at this time of year, just before the winter coat of fur gives way to the summer coat.  The winter coat gets so thick before the change that it actually forms a layer over her anus and the ‘poopie’ gets stuck halfway out, held into her by fur.
     To remedy this, Gentle Readers, we must take a small scissors and cut a little ‘tunnel’ through the fur so that Inkie may relieve herself.  One must be ever-so-careful when nearing a cat’s anus with a pointy pair of sharp scissors; one little slip could hurt the fuzzy girl.
     There were times in my life when, if you told me I would be cutting tunnels to cats bums,  it would seem like an absurd statement.  This is what cats have done to me.
     Along the more normal lines, providing food, water and toys are also daily duties but how many times have I gotten stuck in my seat because one of my cats got onto my lap and looks way too cute and comfortable to move.  Try typing with a laptop on your thighs and a curled up kittie on your belly.  It takes practice to not wake the sleepy little git and still hit all the right keys.
     Some people do much more for kitties, as evidenced on the Animal Planet Network’s Must Love Cats show.  The cat-owners on Must Love Cats are much more fanatical than myself.  It is amazing what lengths people go to to keep the little ones happy.  Saturday past, Animal Planet ran a marathon of the show again and, in watching and dozing off and watching and dozing off,  the day turned into a surreal dream, punctuated every couple hours by the yodeling kitties.
     So, the purpose for this blog?  Aside from taking the time to reply to a Most Esteemed Reader,  it was just an excuse to ramble on a favorite subject…felines!

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