A Fine Example of How To Behave Badly or ‘The Best of Paxil Manners’

Modest Readers,
We do not illustrate this installment of the blog because the whole thing is an illustration in and of itself…the following log illustrates how a person on Paxil and behaving like a complete asshole can act and give you clues on how to spot one. This is an actual logsheet taken from the Official Asshole Logbook from last year.
Since we are nearing March, we present this entry from the aforementioned text…

In short, if you are with someone who acts like this, they are an asshole. This will help you spot one if you are unsure…

We do not include good behavior here because it does not offset the bad.

ASSHOLE ACTIVITY LOGSHEET 3/21/13
900am
wakes in fine mood

1000AM
takes meds

1030am
gets loud on phone
1055am
asks friend personal question and says we said to ask.
1120am
starts interrupting, being rude and not allowing others to complete thoughts
1136am
locks self outside house
1147am
tries kissing up by bringing us OJ…
1149am
butts in again when others speaking
1154am
listless
1156am
interrupts conversation on medical care to shout ‘birdies! Birdies!’
speaking too loudly.
Annoying in general.
1157am
upstairs waking cats that want to sleep in daytime, as cats do. Inkie now under sofa where she cannot reach her.
1158am
talking to self loudly.
1206pm
just plain fucking stupid! Wants to go out and play and it is 27 degrees outside.
110pm
still being jackass
130pm
allowing bowl of pot to burn into air while staring at pc
140pm
on phone in living room while burning light in bedroom
156pm
made us ask same question three times in a row while giving us answer to a question we never even asked.
219pm
accuses us of insulting her because we said crushed velvet.
229pm
gives stupid response.
232pm
wants to use my garden shears on plastic and ruin the blade
323pm
standing there giving me creeps.
340pm
puts cat urine-soaked carpet from porch in washing machine with her own clothes
348pm
wasting bowl again
402pm
wants a beer already…
446pm
starts to go into las vegas rant and cracks second beer
448pm
claims to be not drinking fast enough
459pm
stamps feet like child while singing ‘lalalalala’ at top of lungs to drown out other person who is wishing to communicate in an adult fashion.
Went into bathroom and continued singing obstreperously while pissing into the bowl.
511pm
won’t allow others to speak.
513pm
lost beer and blames it on others
555pm
suggests using cookware to perform injurious deeds upon small animals while drunk
556pm
pees pants
thinks it is funny and has nothing to do with drinking or her kidneys and liver
gets stuck on/in toilet by big ass.
608pm
told to quit talking to herself and distracting playmates
612pm
asked for more meds – drug-seeking behaviour.
627pm
extemporaneously spouting shit about monsanto. says she will eat a boll weevil. speech meandering. going back in time and blessing dead people.
646pm
spouting off extemporaneously on subject of ‘origins of the human hand shake’
649pm
attempts to influence monitor with sexual favors, including blowjobs
652pm
wants car to go ‘get something’ but refuses to explain what.
653pm
acts like pig. argues. unreasonable. chattering. bitching. Threatening
714pm
cannot open simple bag of cheese where it says ‘pull here’
743pm
blathering
745pm
will not shut the fuck up
was acting stupid at 744pm and would not shut up so we could report her.
747pm
acting helpless to a cancer patient because too drunk to stand up straight by herself
749pm
sarcasm towards others
822pm
lurking about again – seems to lurk about too often
847pm
lost false tooth we paid for. could not find it because too vain to get eyeglasses so she can see five feet in front of her.
Also lost temper twice in last 15 minutes and suggested several stupid and inane things which make no good sense to us.

We shall conclude due to her increasing mania so we may watch to be sure she doesn’t hurt herself.

And that, Mannered Readers, is last year’s account of bad behaviour for one day for one person. e must all consider our bad behaviour footprints and keep such idiocy to a minimum for the sake of the global community.

We wish you a good day/evening and warn you to be aware of such goings-on. Protect yourself accordingly!

This is a free blog and, as such, is expected to have a certain amount of typos.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under essays, pleas, related subjects, Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s