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Some Good Reasons To Buy Beatdom Issue 9

Cats and Kittens, Cherished Readers,

Open minds that have no leaders,

We return to you today after quite a long break in the action, although we see you have been reading daily and we appreciate the patronage!

Our disappearance was caused due to the fact that Your Humble Narrator is now Co-Publisher of Beatdom Books and we published our first two exciting volumes in the month of July…Beatdom Issue Nine and Zoning by Spencer Kansa, which we shall tell you about in the next blog.

     So why buy the new Beatdom? Ten dollars…one dollar per reason…as we have changed the format to that of a more traditional literary journal and also have gone to black and white, save for the excellent cover illustration by R.H.Harper, an excellent Philadelphia artist.

     First and foremost, you will find a lot of great writing from our regular crew of writers, as well as some new faces. We have new, yes NEW, photos of Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs and Norman Mailer which have never been published before and were donated to us by the remarkable Jerry Aronson, whose DVD, The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg is reviewed at length, as well as a review of the PBS Naked Lens film by filmmaker Yony Leyser,  William S. Burroughs: A Man Within. You can find reviews of both of them on this blog space if you use the search function but the review in Beatdom, with the photos from Jerry, make an exceptionally fine piece.

     The cover is so nice that you will be sure to look hip while reading it, so that is a reason in itself and it is a real conversation starter…just look at that cover…and there are numerous other great illustrations inside…you may ascertain from the cover that this is our ‘Drugs’ issue, so we have a number of articles with a droogy theme, as well as straight essays and poetry.

     …which brings us to yet another reason, which is the excellent fiction by Katy Gurin, Chuck Taylor and Dan Leo (as well as by Your Humble Narrator) and the accompanying illustrations and art by award-winning filmmaker Waylon Bacon and Haydn Lock.

     Then, we have the scholarly studies from around the world, like the essay on Hunter S. Thompson in Kentucky, by Rory Feehan in Ireland, and a detailed look at Mr. Burroughs’ forays into the jungles of South America in search of yage by Nick Meador and Geetanjali Joshi Mishra’s insightful look at Allen Ginsberg, From Ganja To God, about the late poet’s experiences with ganja in India, and a look at Burroughs’ groundbreaking work with yage by David S, Wills, our fearless leader.

     We have poetry smuggled out of the heart of a womens’ prison, poetry about addiction and poetry about supermarkets, plus more poetry, for the verse-lovers in the crowd.

     Another fine reason to buy this treasure-trove of Beat knowledge and enjoyable fiction and poetry, as we mentioned earlier, is that we have made it available at the ridiculously low price of $9.99 a copy, plus $2 for shipping…that is two dollars in America and two euros for international customers. Our first copy was sent to a reader in Australia…if you order quickly (www.beatdom.com) you may even get your copy before the first one hits the land down under.  We have squeezed the large, airplane-browsing-sized, full colour issues into a standard format literary journal, so it is easy to keep in pocket or purse. In fact, we dare you to find something better to read at that price and if you find something even half as hip, we want to know about it.

    This is actually an old reason, but Beatdom is the world’s most popular Beat-themed literary journal. We have readers on every continent except Antartica and we may open an office there just to stimulate sales…when we have the cash, that is…which may be a while since we only hope to break even on this endeavor…as has always been the case with Beatdom, all along…we are not here to get rich on your hard-earned book money. We are here to keep the Beat spirit alive and let you know what is happening in the world of Beatdom.

     This issue was printed and bound by the prestigious Sheridan Press. We chose them so that we could offer you the best in quality, not just in the writing and art but in the reproduction of such fine work. Sheridan is a venerable force in the publishing industry, printer of the best among literary journals…and that is why we chose them to bring you the finest Beatdom possible.

     It will not be online for immediate free download, like the older, more expensive issues were. It will be in the future – but at the moment, the only way to see it is to open a copy and start enjoying yourself. To older readers, consider this a literary take on ZAP Comix…great art, good messages and hip from beginning to end.

      Also, check out the cover illustration for David Wills’ upcoming (on Beatdom Books) novel The Dog Farm. You may have heard recent news about the glow-in-the-dark dogs which were created by those krazy koreans but Mr. Wills gives you a whole new view of South Korea.

    So what are you waiting for? You can buy it with check, money order or Paypal. Orders paid with check or money order will be shipped once funds have cleared, which is overnight in the day of instant wire transfer…so take a chance…don’t be a mooncalf, don’t be a fuddy duddy…get hip and get yourself a copy of Beatdom Issue Nine…it may sell out before you get the chance…

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Sunday Funny. A Bible Story For The Hip, Beat and Just Plain Cool

     Kind Readers,

     I keep promising Lord Buckley and have been caught up in writing other stuff for the new issue of Beatdom, that is number Eight, the SEX Issue. Since it is Sunday, a day of rest and a time for some to worship, let us take a look at the worshippers and the Worshipped, as seen by and told through the words of our hero, Lord Buckley!

This is about the Sermon on the Mount and is called, The Nazz (a word stolen by David Bowie in Ziggy Stardust) and an old rock group by that name…

 
Now look at all you cats and kitties out there whippin’ and wailin’ and jumpin’ up and down and suckin’ up all that juice and pattin’ each other on the back and hippin’ each other who the greatest cat in the world is: Mr. Malenkov, Mr. Talenkov, Mr. Eisenhower, Mr. Wozenweezer, Mr. Wisenwoser, Mr. Woodhill, Mr. Beachill an’ Mr. Churchill and all them hills gonna’ get you straight. If they can’t get you straight, they know a cat that knows a cat who’ll straighten you. But I’m gonna put a cat on you, was the coolest, grooviest, sweetest, wailinest, strongest, swinginest cat that ever stomped on this  jumpin’ green sphere and they called this here cat the Naz.

He was a carpenter kitty. Now the Nazz was the kind of a cat that come on so cool and so groovy and so with it that when he laid it down, whabam! It stayed there! Naturally all the rest of the cats said, “Man, look at that cat wail! He’s wailin’ up a storm up there. Hey, eh, ain’t it down right? Hey, get off my back Jack! What’s the matter with you? I’m tryin’ to dig what the cat’s puttin’ down!”  They’re pushin’ the Nazz to dig his miracle lick, and the Nazz say, “Cool, babies. Tell ya’ what I’m gonna do. I ain’t gonna take two, four six, eight of you cats, but I’m gonna take all twelve of you studs and straighten you all at the same time. Say, you cats look like you pretty hip.” He say, “You buddy with me.”

So The Nazz and his buddies was goofin’ off down the boulevard one day and they run into a little cat with the bent frame. So The Nazz look at this little cat with the bent frame and he say, “What’s a matter wit’ you, baby?”
Little cat with the bent frame he said, “My frame is bent Nazz, it’s been bent from in front.” 
So The Nazz look at the little cat with a bent frame and he put the golden eyes of love on this here little kitty and he look right down into the window of the little cat’s soul and he say to the little cat, he say, “Straighten!” Vrooom – Boom! Up went that cat like an arrow and everybody jumpin’ up and down say “Look what The Nazz put on that boy! Hah-hah. You dug him before,” said “re-dig him now!”

Everybody talkin’ about The Nazz, what a great cat he was, how he swung with the glory of love, how he straighten out all the squares, how he stomp into the money changin’ cart and kicked the short change all over the place and knockin’ the corners off the squares. How he put it down to the one cat, dug it, didn’t dig it. Put it down twice, dug it, didn’t dig it. Put it down the third time, dug it, boom, walked away with his eyes buggin’ out to here bumpin’ into everybody. And they’re pullin’ on The Nazz’s coat tail, they want him to sign the autograph. They want him to do a gig here, do a gig there, play the radio, play the video; He can’t make all that jazz! Like I ‘splained to you he’s a carpenter kitty, got his own lick. But when he know he should go and show and blow, and cannot go, cause he got too much strain on him, straightenin’ out the squares…he sends a coupla’ these cats that he’s hippin’. So came a little sixty-cent gig one day and the Nazz was in a bind, and he put it on a coupla’ boys. He said, “Boys, take care of that for me, would ya?”
“Take it off your wig Nazz, we’ll cool it.” And they started out to straightin’ it out for the Nazz. And they got about half way to where they were goin’ and they came to a little old twenty-cent pool of water and they got right in the pool of water with the boat and all of a sudden, BLAM, the lightnin’ flashin’ and the thunder roarin’ and the boat is goin’ up and down and these poor cats figurin’ every minute gonna’ be their last and one cat look up and…here come the Nazz…cool as anyone you see, right across the water STOMPIN’! And there was a little cat on board, I think his name was Jude.
He said, “Hey, Nazz, can I make it out there with’ya?”
And The Nazz say, “Make it, Jude!” 
Ol’ Jude went stompin’ off that boat took four steps, dropped his whole cart. Phhhhhiiiiittt, Nazz had to stash him back on board. 
So The Nazz say, “Say, what seems to be troublin’ you boys? Heh heh. Say, you hittin’ on that SOS’in’ bell pretty hard. You gonna’ bend that bell knockin’ on it like that.”
One of the cats say, “What’s eatin’ ya? Oh, can’t ya see the storm’s goin’ and the lightnin’ flashin’ and the thunder roarin’!”
And The Nazz say, “I told you stay cool didn’t I babies?”
To the people who don’t know, that means to believe, to stay cool is to be, to have the sweet fragrance of serenity rock your wig. See. So now everybody’s talkin’ about the Nazz. Ooh, this beautiful, swingin’ man. How he’s settin’ the country on fire with great sparks of great love like a swingin’ non-stop satellites goin’ through all the lanes and valleys and puttin’ down the scene with such beauty and such power and such charm that there are now sparks seventy-five feet long shootin’ out of the grapevine and they now got five thousand of these little cats and kitties in the Nazz’s home town where the cat live, lookin’ to get straight. Well he knows he can’t straighten’em there. It’s too small a place to want to hang everybody up. So the Nazz backed away a little bit and he look at these cats and these kitties and he say, “Come on, babies. Let’s cut on out down the pike.” And there went the Nazz, with these five thousand cats and kitties a stompin’ up a storm. Behind them there’s a great love river joy, it’s goin’ like a great chain through these gorgeous cats and kitties as they’re swingin’ along in the beat of the Nazz and the birds are flyin’ on one side and singin’ love songs to these cats and kitties and there’s a great jubilee of love. And the Nazz talkin’ about how pretty the hour, how pretty the flower, how pretty you, how pretty me, how pretty the tree. Nazz had them pretty eyes. He wanted everybody to see with his eyes and see how pretty it was. And they’re havin’ such a glorious swingin’ time that before you know it they were forty-two miles out of town and ain’t nobody got the first biscuit. 
So the Nazz look at them cats and kitties and he say “You hungry ain’t ya babies?” 
And the cat say, “Yea Nazz, say we’s diggin’ so hard what you puttin’ down, heh-heh, we didn’t prepare, say we goofed.”
So the Nazz say, “Well, we gotta take it easy here We wouldn’t want to go ahead and order up something you might not like, would we.”
And they said “Sweet double hipness, you put it down and we’ll pick it up.”
And the Nazz step away a little bit and he put a glorious sound of love on.
He said “Oh, sweet swingin’ flowers of the field.”
And they said “Oh, great non-stop singular sound of beauty.”
And he said “Stomp upon the terra.”
They did.
He said, “Lift your miracle of the body.”
The body went up.
He said “Lift your arms.”
The arms went up.
He said “Higher and higher.”
He said “Dig infinity!”
And they dug it!
And when they did that, there was a flash of thunder, and in one hand was a great big stuffed sweet, swingin’, smoked fish and in the other a long gone crazy loaf of that southern home-made, honey-tastin’, sweet bread. Why, these poor cats flipped!
Nazz never did nothin’ simple, when he laid it, he laid it.

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