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Thank The Supreme Court And Ferd For This Post (contains explicit language)

Gentle Readers,

Given the subject matter in this blog, we tried to find a nice ‘lunatic’ image but ended up with an image of a ‘luna kit’ and since it is a cool image we may as well just go with the flow and take what our graphics department comes up with!

Why a lunatic? Ferd is quoted here, that’s why the lunatic!

Ferd does not have a computer and does not even have an email address. We told him we were writing about him several times but he has never taken the time to look at the screen to see what we say. That said, let us consider that the Suprme Court recently took all penalties off of using foul language and determined that is is perfectly legal to write, type or speak the words ‘fucking asshole‘.  We find this reassuring to know that when we are pulled over for yet another traffic violation, we are allowed to exclaim, “Thanks a lot, you fucking asshole” to the ‘officer’ who has cited us.

Thanks to our cultural heroes, it is now legal to curse in public and it is with the blessings of the High Court that we relate the following:

One recent hot, sunny Summer day, we found ourselves at the door of Ferd’s domain. Outside and sitting in the sun with no water and not enough leash to reach the shade was his cat, Willie. After pounding on the door, waking and berating him, he unhooked Willie and took her inside (“her” because Willie is short for Wilhelmina). Willie flopped on the floor, exhausted. We questioned Ferd on the lack of water for Willie, at which point he filled a bowl and Willie immediately started to lap it up. Feeling sorry for poor Willie, Your Humble Narrator looked at Ferd and called him a fucking asshole.

Many people would take humbrage or offense to such a remark but Ferd took it in stride. In fact, he complimented me on it. He recounted a day, some 40 years earlier, when Your Narrator was with a group of school friends and Ferd. Pot was pretty unavailable and five of us stood in a circle while the bowl was filled with our last remaining stash. Putting a light to the bowl, we took the first toke and passed it to Ferd, who immediately dropped it on the ground, where the remains could not be recovered.  Everybody cursed him, even himself. This incident had long been forgotten, albiet in the the mind of Ferd. He recounted the occasion and how we had called him a fucking asshole forty years earlier.

“You know,” said Ferd, seemingly amused at being insulted, “Do you remember that time I dropped the bowl?”

“No,” we countered, “and what does that have to do with anything and why can’t you take care of your cat?”

Blowing off the bit about the cat, he related the story of the dropped bowl. “You sound exactly the same calling me a fucking asshole today, as you did when you called me a fucking asshole forty years ago. I can close my eyes and it is like going back in time.”

Great, we thought, a fucking asshole in a timeless warp…or ‘Ferd…An Asshole Through the Ages’…

We thought this was humorous enough but, more recently, we were moved to refer to Ferd as ‘an imbecile’ and he objected strongly to the remark. He had his reasons. He said that being an imbecile was a part of normal human development and that he had passed that stage.  As he put it, “You are born, and from the time you ‘come out of the shute’ you are an imbecile. Then, later you develop into an idiot, until you become a moron. These are the stages of a child’s brain development. I read it in a book!”

We are not sure what book Ferd had his nose in that time – or what he had his nose in before he looked at the book – but  we actually searched the internet to see how he could have come up with such a classic way of distinguishing between inbecility and idiocy. Being a master of both, we almost hoped to find something to support his jive but could not find a single thing to back him up.

He must be a moron. 



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Supreme Court gives police a new entryway into homes

 no picture this time, folks, just the disturbing news…

By David G. Savage, Los Angeles TimesMay 16, 2011, 10:47 a.m.

WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court on Monday gave police more leeway to break into residences in search of illegal drugs.

The Supreme Court, in an 8-1 decision in a Kentucky case, says police officers who loudly knock on a door in search of illegal drugs and then hear sounds suggesting evidence is being destroyed may break down the door and enter without a search warrant.

Residents who “attempt to destroy evidence have only themselves to blame” when police burst in, said Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr.

In a lone dissent, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said she feared the ruling in a Kentucky case will give police an easy way to ignore the 4th Amendment. “Police officers may not knock, listen and then break the door down,” she said, without violating the 4th Amendment.

In the past, the court has said police usually may not enter a home unless they have a search warrant or the permission of the owner. As Alito said, “The 4th Amendment has drawn a firm line at the entrance to the house.”

One exception to that rule involves an emergency, such as screams coming from a house. Police may also pursue a fleeing suspect who enters a residence. Police were attempting to do that in the Kentucky case, but they entered the wrong apartment, raising the issue of what is permissible in situations where police have reason to believe evidence is being destroyed.

It began when police in Lexington, Ky., were following a suspect who allegedly had sold crack cocaine to an informer and then walked into an apartment building. They did not see which apartment he entered, but when they smelled marijuana smoke come from one of the apartments, they wrongly assumed he had gone into that one. They pounded on the door and called “Police. Police. Police,” and heard the sounds of people moving.

At this, the officers announced they were coming in, and they broke down the door. They found Hollis King smoking marijuana, and put him under arrest. They also found powder cocaine. King was convicted of drug trafficking and sentenced to 11 years in prison.

But the Kentucky Supreme Court overturned his conviction and ruled the apartment break-in violated his 4th Amendment right against “unreasonable searches and seizures.” Police had created an emergency by pounding on the door, the state justices said.

The Supreme Court heard an appeal from state prosecutors and reversed the ruling in Kentucky vs. King. Alito said the police conduct in this case “was entirely lawful,” and they were justified in breaking down the door to prevent the destruction of the evidence.

“When law enforcement officers who are not armed with a warrant knock on a door, they do no more than any private citizen may do,” he wrote. A resident need not respond, he added. But the sounds of people moving and perhaps toilets being flushed could justify police entering without a warrant, he added.

“Destruction of evidence issues probably occur most frequently in drug cases because drugs may be easily destroyed by flushing down a toilet,” he added.

The ruling was not a final loss for King. The justices said the Kentucky state court should consider again whether the police faced an emergency situation in this case.

Ginsburg, however, said the court’s approach “arms the police with a way routinely to dishonor the 4th Amendment’s warrant requirement in drug cases.” She said the police did not face a “genuine emergency” and should not have been allowed to enter the apartment without a warrant.


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More Cute Than You Can Shake A Stick At

     Feline Fanatics,

     We remind you that no kitties were harmed in the making of this blog.  The kit on the left is just being adventurous.  The photo session started because he kept trying to nose his way into the frig everytime the door opened because he knew the milk was in there.  We scooped him up and got a few shots of him standing on the top shelf in the fridge, smaller than a pint of milk, sniffing the goods.

     The microwave was simply a photo opp which presented itself at the time.  We would never do, nor encourage, such a thing.  Cats have now outnumbered dogs in America by about a million.  More households have dogs but the data indicates that cat owners often own multiples, as we do with Inkie and Budderz, and that dog owners are also prone to have a kittie or kitty or two around, as well.  The cats usually dominate the dogs in any of these situations.  Many are horrified at the thought of introducing a cat into a house with dogs but the cats are crafty and take great advantage of canine idiocy, often doing bad things that get blamed on Fido.

     The folks at Animal Planet have siezed upon these facts and have, in the past few months, released a number of new cat-related shows which cater to pampering owners.  Last season, they produced Cats 101, which was an excellent rundown of breeds, studying the quirks, cuteness, foibles and follies each breed gets into most frequently.  It was a good show but, in our humble opinion, it does not hold a candle to the merriment involved in the new program Must Love Cats, which we wrote about in a previous blog and which you can search for and read on this very page. 

     One night last week, they introduced Too Cute, a documentary on three litters of kittens growing from birth to the tender age of eight weeks.  There are laughs, drama, bits of related information but it was mostly about kittens being cutesy…and it works.

     Tonight, they unleash MY CAT FROM HELL (sorry for the caps…that is how Animal Planet lists it).  Jackson Galaxy, the host, plays guitar – as does the host of Must Love Cats.  Why a human singing to cats about mice and birds and whatever else a cat thinks about is a standard for these type of shows, we will never know. Maybe it is the cute factor but it would be more cute to me if a woman sang.  You have to give Galaxy credit, though, for his creative use of barber tools, as he has no hair above the ears and is very creative with all the follicles which sprout from the temples down…we would post a pic but we expect if you read this far you will see for yourself.  We do not mention his tattoos, as they are pretty normal in that they seem to cover most of his body, the norm for the 21st century expression of individuality – cover yourself with tatoos like everybody else.  We do not know how that many tatts make you that individual since, viewed from a half a block away, they look the same as anybody else who is covered in ink. 

     Cats do not get tattoos but they appear in quite a few of them, most notably those cool ones that the punk/rockabilly band The Stray Cats had on their arms.  Those are the most notable ones we recall.  Some where out there is a woman with a tattoo of a cat on one asscheek.  It is in the hunting position and is reaching to catch the tail of the tattooed ‘half a mouse’ which is drawn so it looks like it is crawling into her butt to escape.  Trust us.  It is a big world.  This is out there somewhere and, if not, we suppose we are sick for thinking of such things.

     So do tune in at 9pm EST in the United States.  We are not sure how these things get broadcast worldwide.  One would imagine that tv programs would start to ‘synch up’ worldwide, rather than go from one country to another as they get older.  That should happen about the time some woman gets that tattoo. So watch! Enjoy! It is Kitties!!!

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Is It The End Of The World Yet?

     Followers of Faith,

     Many are heralding the end of our planet Earth, as predicted in the Bible, as the Last Days begin on May 21 and come to the grand finale on October 21 of this year.  We do not question peoples’ religious beliefs, we just report on them if we need material for a blog.

     It is rather hard to ignore the events of recent weeks and months, which seem to put this sphere on the brink of disaster.  That is, after all, why we call this series of blogs The Tipping Point.  It is true that we have reached the tipping point and that things just get worse from here.  If you grew up in America in the 20th century, chances are that you had one of the highest standards of life quality ever afforded to humans during the history of our species.  If you go one hundred years in either direction, 1910 or 2110, conditions would not seem near as comfortable as we in the USA have grown used to.

     These are the final days, no doubt about it.  It takes the sting of death away when you know that, once you leave the Earth, it will never be as nice or as much fun as you knew it to be in life.  The elected officials will have nothing to do with trying to save us, as evidenced by the recent events in Japan.  When the nuclear waste from the accident became a quandry, Japan announced to the world that they would dump all the radioactive materials into the ocean.

     Two days later, they dumped it.  Where was the United Nations? Where was anybody responsible?  How could you ignore the dumping of radiation into the ocean, where it works it way around the world via tides and jet streams?  Picture a green field, full of leafy spinach, or maybe arugula.  Picture the atmosphere sucking the ocean water up into a cloud.  Now look at the rain hitting those green leaves.  Mix in a bit of spilled BP oil and other chemicals and you hardly even need a vinaigrette.

     Once that rain gets into the soil, do you reckon that it can be rinsed off?  No, it becomes part of the cellular structure of the leaf.  It may not kill you immediately but it will add up.  It is a good thing we are so involved in cancer research, since we are going to see the number of patients double, triple or quadruple as the years pass.

     What good thing can we say about the final days?  At some point, it will become the common denominator as rich and poor alike succumb to environmentally-caused diseases.  Then everybody will be equal and the class wars (which are just starting to rumble in the curtains backstage) will not be an issue.

     We have seen so many changes over the last 100 years that the next 100 years will be a real bummer for a convenience-oriented society.  Enjoy life while you can!  If you are older, like Your Humble Narrator, you might as well live it up before things start to really suck.

     What about the end of the world, though?

     Since we are universally denominational at CFYSA, we cannot suggest that you pray to a certain diety or another – although we do suggest that you say your prayers.  Many people are talking about the end, so let us look at what one of our heroes, Arlo Guthrie, had to say on the subject in a recent post on his website…

According to some people, the world will come to a close fairly soon – sometime between now (if you’re reading this it hasn’t happened), and sometime next year 2012. I’m putting together a list of 5 things to do just in case the world actually comes to an end.

1) Clean underwear is a must every day. There may not be laundry in the after life. Be sure to be wearing appropriate attire – a white robe will provide suitably for here and there. Note: Hell is clothing optional, so be prepared for anything. And don’t just leave your clothes in the closet, give to an organization who will pass it along to those who may be traveling with you but don’t have stuff to wear right now.

2) Be generous to your favorite charities After all, they may survive in some parallel universe where they will be able to benefit from your generosity here. The Guthrie Interfaith Church (my favorite 501 c 3 foundation) is always looking for help and is multi-dimensional as well as existing on earth.

3) Leave enough pet food and water for your pets. If you’re wrong and the world doesn’t end, they will miss you but eating helps a broken heart.

4) There’s no mention in scripture of there being female angels. All the angels have male names. So either there’s not much sex in heaven or the after life is part of the gay agenda. Act now before it’s too late.

5) Beware the Mayans. Their calendar ends but it could be a ruse. It could be the date when they plan on returning and taking over the Americas again. They obviously would not wish to announce their coming – thus their calendar just quits giving details. Spending Christmas 2012 under Mayan domination could be enough to rip the heart out of any true believer.

The world ends every day for some people, and each day the worlds begins for others. Despite claims to the contrary, it will be that way for a very long time. Any one who distracts you from caring for each other – coming or going – is selling something. If there’s no one buying, no one can be selling. Don’t be fooled by anyone or any group no matter how sincere they may appear to be. People may believe the world is ending but believing doesn’t make it true.

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