Tag Archives: lenny bruce

“…and Ten Grams of Krassner LOL, Please.”

Learned Readers,

We recently had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Paul Krassner for the next edition of Beatdom. Mr. Krassner is known and unknown for many things. He founded The Realist, co-founded the Yippies, worked closely with Lenny Bruce, gave Groucho Marx his first hit of LSD, hung with the Grateful Dead and Ken Kesey, uncovered presidential neckrophilia, tested a new batch of acid for the Mafia, played violin onstage at Carnegie Hall at age six, and  a lot of other stuff we are saving for the Summer issue of Beatdom.k1

Mr. Krassner has written fourteen books so far and is also working on a novel and one on the MK ULTRA program, which all you readers should know about by now.  While running The Realist, he also wrote/edited for such prestigious publications as MAD, Playboy, Hustler, Rolling Stone, Spin, The Nation, National Lampoon and so many other places that unless you lived under a rock for the past half a century, he got into your heads.k5

Allow us to illustrate: recently we spoke with Kitty Bruce regarding her father, Lenny. She was on crutches and said it reminded her of the time when Lenny was on crutches. He had fallen out of a window while trying LSD and shouted something both prescient and amusing as he fell. We told her what he said and she laughed at the story. We told it to her before and she asked me where we heard it. We said that we were not sure but would find out. Looking through our books on Lenny, we couldn’t find it, many books still being packed from the move west. Somehow, we were sure of the line but still questioned  the veracity.

In the meantime, we bought a copy of Confessions of a Raving, Unconfined Nut by Paul Krassner in preparation for the interview. Flipping through it…voila!…there was the story about the fall from the window. To find out, get the book. The ISBN is 9781593765033. The point here is that we carried that anecdote around for years, maybe forty-some years. How did it get into out brains in the first place? It started with him typing it and ended up with who knows how many of us retaining it. That is influence.k3

We often take off on tangents about how things should be and we think a man like Paul Krassner needs to be immortalized in some way.  Considering his achievements, as well as his personal preferences, we thought the most appropriate way to honor him is to create a new hybrid of medical marijuana/recreational marijuana in his name. It is something he enjoys. If it were not for people like him, we would not even be allowed to talk about getting it legalized. It used to be a crime to talk about it in public, as a young Allen Ginsberg (we think it was) found out.

Going around the country we saw a bunch of jam bands out there and we see a lot of young people here on the coast. One thing we saw at both places was lots of pride in the production of quality medical marijuana and its oils and elixers and tinctures. It is nice to see somebody who is proud of their work and that seems common in the pot industry.

All that said, to all you growers out there who are into producing the hybrids, please develop a hybrid for Paul. He doubts that you can do it, so please take this seriously. With the way business and competition is going here, it would put you on the map to come up with the chosen bud for KRASSNER LOL. If you do it, you will have it publicized nationally, probably by actual news stories, since he IS a public figure. What could be better for business than an exclusive product?k2

When asked what type of bud it should be, he became more specific. We will be publishing his exact words so we will not print them here…except to say, most importantly, that the strain should not be something to put you to sleep, it should make you laugh. Laughter is the most healthy thing we can do, he says, and that is his reasoning. It is scientific fact, so who can argue?

We found Laughing Buddha on one of the pot sites and that may be a step in the right direction. Look at this list below. This is what somebody put on their ad on Craigslist to get attention. There are a lot of names left out but a new name would Google up faster, we bet…a name like Krassner LOL.

Green crack, snoops cut blue dream, girl scout cookies, afoogey, green crack, permafrost, mmj, marijuana, doctors, recommendations, weed, pot, Maryjane, caregiver, medical marijuana, hash, hash oil, edibles, ISO hash oil, dispensaries, medicinal marijuana, medical marijuana doctor, medical cannabis, buy weed, legalized marijuana, legal marijuana dispensaries, medicinal dispensary, medicinal dispensaries, pot, medical marijuana, weed, 420, buds, joint, kgb, mary jane

More soon…

buy the book at www.paulkrassner.com

This is a free blog so ignore any typos which appear.

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under news, pleas, Uncategorized

Whatever Happened To This Blog?

Michael (6)Gentle Readers, for months, perhaps a year, we have been putting you off and have let this once-heralded blog slip into near obscurity. Today, we return and not only that – we return with our original name.
We remain uncertain as to whether we were trying to protect ourselves or trying to get laid when we changed the words ‘substance abuse’ to ‘substantial abuse’.
Too much information on one’s pattern of substance abuse can put low on the list for certain social invites. The fact remains that, as a result of being fed beer regularly as a baby (imagine yourself sucking from a beer bottle as tall as yourself…but just on weekends…), the editorial we naturally became alcoholic. We missed out on all the fun of gateway drugs – ha, ha, as if such a thing exists. We are not Hippies because we were born too late but we did manage to ingest LSD in every decade since the seventies, inclusive, and still keep the old neuro-plasticity working well enough to keep your attention!

We thank all the people who kept reading old entries of the blog while we were out of action.

We also thank Paul Krassner – for inspiration. We contacted him regarding some Beatdom business. Although he influenced us greatly over the years, from MAD to High Times magazines, we felt a pang of guilt when viewing his bibliography. He never shies away from a topic. He is fearless. He wrote a lot about drugs and put them in the titles of his books. He has integrity. We were afraid we would never be able to get laid if we had to explain our substance abuse issues…a pretty lame excuse, looking back.
Mr. Krassner helped change the course of American history to a degree. His activities during the sixties – his outspokenness, sense of humor and respect for Truth – allowed many others to open up with their personal views. Somebody always has to break the ice in a repressive situation and he melted minds. Conversely, The Realist allowed so-called ‘broken minds’ to melt the ice of the oppression of the time through humor. We remember how you Dear Readers love illustrations, so here is the book to look for…confessions…if you do not buy it and read it, you will not know what we are writing about when we refer to it in future important dispatches.
Anyway, there is a lot to learn about him and we encourage you all to pick up copies of his books. The best place to find them is on his website, http://www.paulkrassner.com

So, with all that being said, we shall now resume the blog as it ran a few years ago, three to four times a week. We will try to be more politically-minded and will try to be less silly. Things have gotten a lot more serious since we reported Governor Christie getting stuck in his gubernatorial bathtub and being pried out with two boat oars and a handy few pounds of butter from the larder….ah…”larder”… We thank the Gov for allowing us to resurrect an old word! May we gain from his girth.
Another reason for our return lies in the excitement we feel as we explore new lands. Native to New York, we left the east coast and drove west this past summer. After a lifetime in the Eastern Standard Zone except for vacations and other excursions, we find great novelty here in the State of Washington. We knew the diversity of topography to be extreme but the last thing we expected was to wind up stuck in a desert, much less the scablands. Everybody said it rains all the time here.
Not so.
We never experienced such pesky sunshine in all our days. Sun, sun, sun…nothing but sun, all summer. Like Bob Dylan asks a recent LP, “Don’t you know the sun can burn your brains right out?” Speaking of Dylan, we can’t help but compare the area to the locale depicted in the film Masked and Anonymous. With all the Native Americans, Mexicans, sand and abandoned junk cars, the resemblance strikes us as uncanny. In fact some areas here are so bleak as to resemble Afghan mountain ranges; so much so that troops bound for that bloodbath got used to the elements by training near here.
Fall arrived and clouds followed and as the sky got darker, things got brighter. We love rain! The first good rain to come in brought our first dust storm along with it. A fantastic sight! A cool thing to view from the safe confines of a car with rolled-up windows.
There is so much here to discover in Washington, we didn’t know where to start so food is never a bad idea. Crossing the US, we noticed portions of food increasing in size as we pushed westward. True, we settled for road food but it actually tasted good and we had to start comparing fast foods, just to see the cultural anomoly we are faced with.
It started at the ‘Steak’N’Shake’ somewhere in Michigan. Years passed since the last fast food burger touched my lips. It came down to ‘eat or starve’ so we went with Steak’N’Shake. It was amazing! The first thing that freaked us out was the whipped cream and cherry on the milkshake…we remembered that from soda fountains in the distant past. When we opened up the burgers, a cornucopia of veggies stuck out from the bun. While we chose our move to a liberal land where pot is legal, as is same-sex marriage and assisted suicide, liberal portions never occurred to us.
So amazed were we, that to push the idea to the limit, we tried a McDonalds…we must report that our two kitties, along for the trip, actually ate some of the ‘meat’. We tried the same thing in Pennsylvania and they shunned it. Finally, even McDonalds had a cherry on top of the shake.
Now here is the rub.

It is sort of like Lenny Bruce’s ‘Jew vs Goy’ bit…only it seems like Lenny was wrong on that one. He said anybody who lives in New York is jewish, whether they are goyim or not. While admittedly goy to the catholic degree at childhood, we can’t help but feel that the whole northeast seaboard, as well as points as far west as Chicago, create the true demarcation.
Try to find some real foods, foods we grew up with and now we seem to have entered a weird zone of culinary depravity. Perhaps being in the east, where European immigrants first landed, exposed us to a variety of victuals. Ethnic foods spread out from immigrant neighborhoods as they became popular with other cultures.
Brie, capers, anchovies, hummus, halvah, Finlandia or Jarlsburg brand swiss or Parmigiano-Reggiano, olive oil from Italy, couscous…mention these items and prepare to be met with a blank stare. Other seemingly unbotchable staples – pizza and bagels, for instance – get ‘the treatment’. To find a simple slice of pizza (crust, sauce, cheese and spices) the closest option is to send out for a Papa John or Domino imitation pie and cut it in the shape of a slice…or make your own. The concept of an italian pizza shop where you can walk in and buy a slice is exactly that, here on the eastern part of the state, a concept. It is an idea that does not exist. Maybe you can get it in Seattle but we have not gotten that far yet.
Forget bagel shops…but the street tacos rule!
We admit to enjoying a bagel at the most fabulous hotel we could find this side of the Cascades, The Davenport Hotel in Spokane. hotelHere, birthplace of Crab Louis (after Louis Davenport), they referred to the smoked salmon as lox and knew well enough to put capers on the plate. For as many salmon as swim through here every year, we expected that most people would be familiar with lox. Maybe they are better off. I did see a number of big fish float belly up in the Columbia River just around migration time, when the state warned residents not to eat the local fish due to dangerous levels of pollutants in the filets.
Hordes of homeless tweakers who live under bridges and eat these fish since a little added protein never hurts a meth binge, are likely unaware of these warnings. A lot of homeless drifters hang here, though, so that makes us feel welcome. Hitch-hikers spot the roads, too. We hadn’t seen one since 2003 in Ireland. No wonder the serial killers like it here.
There is so much to say, so much to compare, so much to type that we will hold it for another day, tomorrow maybe…
~

Sorry for not really promoting the substance abuse this time. We did drink beer while driving across most of the states, though. We shall make up for this in due time.
Thanks all, for coming back to read this blog, and it feels good to be back!

Leave a comment

Filed under essays, fiction, news, related subjects, Uncategorized

Repost From Beatdom Regarding Kitty Bruce on Lenny

 

Gentle Readers,

We have been busy and posting on the Beatdom site. We thought we should share this!

 

Posted by michaelhendrick in Beat News on December 8, 2011 4:10 pm / no comments

In November, Kitty Bruce, daughter and only survivor of comedy icon/legend Lenny Bruce, was gracious enough to talk to Beatdom about her father’s distain for organized religion, as evidenced in a number of his comedy routines, life at home and Lenny’s House, the twelve step rehab for women in NorthEast Pennsylvania which she started in memory of her father. Kitty tells us about her father’s, and her own, childhood in the new Beatdom Issue 10, The Religion Issue, on sale soon.

Was Lenny a Beat?

He was called that by police and press. Allen Ginsberg organized the “Emergency Committee Against the Harrassment of Lenny Bruce” during the 1964 Cafe Au Go Go trial in New York City. Queried on the connection between Lenny and the Beats, Kitty said, ”I’m very familiar with Allen, I knew Allen…if the question is, did my father sit around coffee houses and snap his fingers?…probably…haha..”

Many reached out to help Lenny when the law was out to kill him (Vincent Cuccia, one of the New York D.A.’s who prosecuted Bruce’s last obscenity case, said, “We drove him into poverty and bankruptcy and then murdered him. We all knew what we were doing. We used the law to kill him.”) and Kitty reaches back out to help women by providing a safe, sober and nurturing environment , providing support, education and other tools necessary to stay clean and sober.

 You can honor the memory of Lenny Bruce by donating to The Lenny Bruce Memorial Foundation, PO Box 1089, Pittston, PA 18640. Many of Lenny’s prized possessions and memorabilia are up for sale, for those who would like to help Lenny’s House and also own a priceless item such as the typewriter Lenny used or his famously-photographed trenchcoat! Send inquiries to the address above.

Beatdom Issue 10, The Religion Issue, is coming your way in a few days. Read what Kitty Bruce has to say, along with many other fascinating writers and great work by our excellent artists!!!

Beatdom is available at http://www.beatdom.com and http://www.amazon.com and http://www.kindle.com and www.usedbeatshop.com

Leave a comment

Filed under news, related subjects

Gentle Readers…Potential Foul Language (but legal) Ahead. Proceed With Open Mind!

     ‘Woman Is The Nigger of the World’…John Lennon.

     ‘Baby, Baby, Baby Is A Rock N Roll Nigger’…Patti Smith

     ‘Cunt Is the Nigger of the Nouns’…Michael Hendrick

     Now that I have your attention…

     Why do we need to use shock language? Why was your Humble Narrator missing in action from blogland due to an increased intake of opiates? Why is this country (USA) awash in the ‘New Racism’?

     If we avoid ‘dirty’ words, they become dirty by association.  Our Saint and Mentor Lenny Bruce proved that 50 years ago, right about when the staff at CSAFY was waking up to the world.

     As a caucasian, I have been accused of racism simply for not agreeing with the so-called president. I visited an African American friend of mine the next day and told her about it and she said she is fed up with this juvenile fecundity, as well. It is the second or third time I was accused of racism this month. The people who accused me did not know that I lost the highest-paying job I ever had because I was working for redneck/upperclass fools at the Virginia Stage Company in Norfolk and refused to fire a woman I had hired to work in my department.  The owners of the VSC felt that a black woman was not capable of representing them on the telephone. I told them, ‘fuck you.’

     The day they told me to get rid of her, I took her aside and gave her a cash bonus, even though she had no idea of the racist skullduggery which was afoot.  Months later, I was summoned to the Oak Room of the Algonquin Hotel In Manhattan and questioned about my pro-equality stance and summarily dismissed from my position for not being an oppressor of a 100 pound, five foot tall black woman who was a school teacher all her life and was as sweet a woman as one could ever meet.

    That was the 80s and nigger was a bad word. Now it is only a bad word if white people use it. Reverse racism is gripping tooth and nail to the coat-tails of the extreme factions we are seeing in this, what used to be our country, and the lesson we learned from the civil rights demonstrations of the 1960s are long forgotten. White man bad…black man victim…

    What does this have to do with cunts? Recent rulings in the state of Pennsylvania made such words legal to say in public, or even cajole the police with when they are trying to reason with you. If you recall, Freedom of Speech was once a Universal Right to all americans and now it is a joke. This is one very small victory in the fight to say what we wish to.

    So the narcotics are wearing off. I had to take them because they made the K2 illegal and I can have all the opiates I want with no fear of reprisal. So, if you must blame a narcotic stupor for the lack of scholarly advice which normally oozes from this page, blame your Uncle Sam…or is it Uncle Osama?

     Do I hate Obama because he is black, sorta? No! Do I hate NJ Gov. Chris “Buffet”Cartman Christie, who looks like he will be in the race to be out next leader (hahahahahahahaha)? Yes…I hate him because he is a fat, miserable fuck who is playing with the environment, not from his massive body mass and it’s affect on tides and orbit of the planet, but because he is a fucking idiot – like Obama! He is white, caucasian, whatever – he has so much skin that he could probably qualify for several different ethnicities, depending on where you take the skin from on his bloated carcass.  Do I hate General Tom Corbett, the other fat fuck who sold out his state for a million and a half dollars per cabinet position and will become ten times richer thanks to screwing the people who voted for him? Yes, I hate him and he is the same skin tone as I am.

     So, if you hear inklings of racism at the office or market, do your best to shut the mouth of the ignorant fuckwit who said such irresponsible booshwah! Most of the racism is coming from the young because they are oppressed and have no chance in the rich man’s world of the USA. They will die under a bridge due to lack of ambition and want to blame me for being a capitalist.

    Somebody wake up…Dear Readers, I know you are awake…but please try to waken a few others before the war of inequality swallows the USA before a Chinese bomb has a chance to wipe us out.

   Wake somebody up and you will awaken a new sense of purpose in yourself…if you want one.

     By the by, it was by pure coincidence and accident that I posted this on Martin Luther King Day. The lessons of Doctor King are being subordinated by feuds between white trashers and blacks with attitudes. It is the first battle in the Era of Class Warfare that our government is pulling this country into through flagrant ignorance of the Constitutional Rights of ALL citizens, no matter what colour, race or creed.

2 Comments

Filed under essays, news, Uncategorized

Still Legal But K2 Users Bluffed By Media

     A Happy New Year to all you people who enjoy reading this stuff. We have tried to amuse you in 2010 and hope we can hold your interest in the months and years ahead.

     Today we have the picture of the sexy librarian. Librarians are as sexy as it gets, since they have the power to ‘shush’ you but there is more to it than a fine finger pressed against pursed lips, warning you to shut up. Librarians are sexy because of what they know. They like banned books. They are often political and active in the community and in just plain life. They help breed that vanishing quantity…intelligence.

     What does being sexy in the stacks have to do with the consumption of intoxicants, one may ask. The access to knowledge is powerful. Take the K2-JWH thing. The newspapers, radio, television and internet were abuzz with news about how the dangerous and soothing substance was banned as of December 24. In the meantime, it is still legal and probably will be, at the very least, until Congress convenes on January 6.

     The newspapers lie. The internet lies. The news channels lie. The networks lie…take CBS, for instance…they make a ton, literally wheelbarrows full of cash from Pfizer, manufacturer of Robitussin. In April of 2009, Pfizer spent over $6.2 million just on cash handouts to the folks you elected to make the laws in DC. They will spend over a trillion dollars, by conservative estimates, by the end of this decade, assuring that things like medical marijuana or smokable herbal remedies are illegal and kids are ‘robo-tripping’ by guzzling the hallucinogenic cough syrup.

     Some kids build little ‘stills’ to extract the groovy juice and ingest it. Many get very violent. I personally know a twenty year old girl, a lovely child I watched grow up, suck down the robo until she was so whacked that she attempted murder. Now she sits in a state prison, her son lost to the system, her life a shambles…but Pfizer is sure to turn a profit this year. The next biggest spender of lobbyist dollars in DC is General Electric, gee, what a coincidence…General Electric, which runs the huge military/industrial complex President Eisenhower warned us about, also owns NBC and, consequently, NBC News!

     The two biggest ruiners of life in the country have the highest profiles by running their own communications networks and feeding us any news they want to concoct and people worry about Fox News? I watch the news from Asia and the BBC. They have a bit less of the old brainwash mixed in.

     CBS is especially hypocritical. My favorite american tv show is The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Craig is the most hip and intellectual talking head in the business. He can talk literature, comedy, philosophy and the arts. He often likes to hold forth on the topic of substance abuse and addiction. It seems he was hooked for about ten years. Well, Craigy, I hate to say it but so was ninety per cent of everybody who went to high school in the 1970s. You are really not so special, in your short run at addiction, although you play it for laughs with the gusto of a William S. Burroughs, who was an actual needle-using addict for decade upon decade and never went soft and said it was a bad idea.

     Anyway, if Craig really stood for his convictions about how drugs ruin youth, he ought to put his foot down about that Robotussin commercial they play when he goes to commercial break. Sure, it would be cutting his own throat but he would have what he claims he has now – self-respect…well, he often claims to have none, really, but that is his charm. We love Craig, wimp or not.

     The point here is…maybe in the New Year ahead, Gentle Readers, we can all expand our earthly knowledge by looking into things closely and not living off of sound bytes that the Illuminati want us to hear. Let us open the documents which the reports are based on, like we opened The Federal Register to find out that K2 and JWH are still wholly and completely legal in most states while we have all been told that they have been illegal for a week.

     In other words, we need to step out of the herd and stop being hapless sheep. Don’t count on organizations like NORML or the Willie Nelson Party. NORML has not done very much since it’s inception in the 1970s. Look at the statistics… less people got arrested before NORML. I have also yet to hear of a NORML victory. From what I witnessed in my brief affiliation with the organization, two out of the three chapters in my state are useless and, very unwisely, careless. I have hope for Willie Nelson and the brains who are behind his party. If they can get a big concert and a show of unity that would impress the next president of the country, legal pot could stand a chance in america.

     Lenny Bruce suggested ‘the marijuana mayor’ back in the 1950s. He was ahead of his time in so many ways. How many of the people who got fooled by Obama thought he would be the one who was liberal enough to take a stand, since he IS a user? Another example of the networks telling you what to do…first Bush, now Obama…what about the opinion of the common person, the voter?

     At this point, it is like LSD in 1967. It is still legal but it is in a grey area. I often wished I had been old enough in 1967 to have taken the legal LSD, just for the sense of history. Now, scientists at Purdue University are allowed to produce 1000 doses of LSD a year, to test the efficacy of it’s use on cluster headaches. After all these years, they admit that it is a useful drug…although the CIA has known it all along and uses it to heighten the effects of torture on people in Gitmo Bay and other secret dungeons around the world. They are also using it to enhance extra sensory perception (ESP), in order to spy better. They took a good drug, made it illegal and then brought it out of the closet for the most hideous of purposes…the cluster headache study is most likely a front so the CIA and other mindcontrolling entities have access to a good strong, legal source.

     From cluster headaches to clusterfucks, you can be sure the spooks who decide what the people we elected do for extra cash do not want you to read. So make an effort to read more in 2011 for your good and the good of this once-great country.

    Happy? New Year!!!

1 Comment

Filed under essays, news, pleas, Uncategorized