Tag Archives: liberalism

Who Sent the Private Investigator To Check Us Out??? Where Is Old Snarly?

Gentle Readers,

This message is not really for you.

We are dropping the editorial ‘us’ in parts to make it less confusing. We think Cynthia Oldsnarly may have sent them.

On Friday, a private investigator named Kellie showed up at our Motel. She checked in with no luggage or purse, wearing a short-ish white dress and stylish hair and nails.
She came out of the front desk office and wandered the parkinglot aimlessly for an hour and then went to her room, near mine, when I came out on the balcony to see which room the possible hooker was going to visit.
As it turns she kept obviously spying on me, looking through the open spaces of a luggage rack on a car parked between us.
So, I decided to STARE at her to let her know she was not un-noticed. This prompted her to come over and up the steps to the balcony, where we sat drinking and chatting…about me…all about me…she said she would be gone in the morning and i watched her leave on foot, no luggage or purse, just a copy of Beatdom we gave her to read…

She kept me up talking about myself until 3am. We did not talk adult topics or any such shit…so why do people spy? why do they lie? why do they not be real in 2014????

funny thing is…we hide nothing, as all you kind readers know…and any import given to us is undeserved, since we are morons.

best from the staff!

*tis is a free blog…if you see typos, live with it or contact us about our exclusive paid blog!!!!!

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On Our 100th Post…Thanks!!!

     Faithful Readers,

     We have reached the milestone of the 100th blog to be posted on this piece of the blogosphere.  We have gone from K2 to YIFFs to granny gets high to the gulf economy to legal medical marijuana in Washington DC to klepto cat to bullies to insults to Ireland to kimchi to devil sex to ugly incidents with former friends to a number of other subjects.

     We would like to take this opportunity to thank you, Beloved Readers, and to share what we think is one of the ‘high points’ of this blog.  Yesterday, we looked at the blogs which people were reading the most and, in so doing, found a section of a blog which we found humorous enough to laugh out loud at.  We will not reprint the whole blog but will simply pull one paragraph, one which relates to the gulf cluster**** caused by Obama.

     This is not high art, high writing, nor the result of being high.  It just strikes us as funny and so we repeat it and pat ourselves on the back for having the perseverance to come up with about 95 out of 100 fresh new blogs.  This is the favorite passage of the Amusing Scribe, from our post of 12/10/10:

     Another good move by this jackass has been his deliberate shut-off of opportunity to the wounded unfortunates in the Gulf of Mexico – on the American side…the Mexicans are making billions of dollars in marijuana revenue. Our Fearless (with our money) Leader, in the days after the BP oil fountain became the biggest aquatic attraction since Gov. Cartman, Chris Christie (R-NJ) got his fat ass caught in the gubernatorial bathtub and had to be evacuated by being saturated in butter and pried out with a couple of lifeboat oars that were handily available. He decided to shut down all oil production by American companies in the Gulf.

      Thanks for reading and for your continued support!!!

      The ‘Gang’ at CFYSA.

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Obama Blames American Oil For Egyptian Molotov Cocktails

     You have to give it to the Egyptians for their use of symbolism in choice of weaponry.  Hurling flaming bottles of gasoline in a part of the world that has been unstable for decades, due to economies that depend on the oil sucked out of the sandy countryside, is an excellent way to express discontent and make a flashy statement in one toss.

     Gasoline producing companies in the USA need to bear the brunt of the blame since we are the major guzzlers of the stuff on the planet.  We just have to drive all these SUVs, don’t we?  Just like we have violence on our Mexican border fueled by our evil love of a lowly weed, we fill those glass bottles with the accelerant of commerce because of our greedy driving habits.  We are the consumers of world violence and we fund the firebombs.

     Does Obama really blame American Oil?  No, but he may as well. Sitting on his hands while the people in the Gulf who make a living, in and on the periphery of the petroleum industry, suffer with no jobs, no food, no homes and no lives is almost as good as an indictment of these poor people. 

     What has the administration done to help the people of the Gulf Coast? Really?

     A while back,  a local news story told the tale of a tractor-trailer, loaded with ice and bound for the citizens displaced by Katrina.  When the truck arrived at the Gulf, there was so much confusion that nobody knew where the ice went.  The driver, naturally kept it frozen for two years by keeping his engine running on foreign diesel fuel. 

     He drove it around the country and when he could no longer get paid for his effort, he let it melt and emptied his load into a Pennsylvania landfill.  Imagine how much fuel it took to keep that ice from melting, to drive it from the Gulf to Pennsylvania, to idle while the driver ate and slept; then imagine the cost per gallon of diesel.  This really has nothing to do with the article here, except to show how your money is wasted by your elected officials while the needy shiver and stomachs growl.

     How many meals could have been bought for the homeless with the cash spent on fuel to drive bags of ice around the country?  How long will the people of the Gulf remain displaced?  How long until America starts to produce it’s own fuel again so that WE can make a profit, as opposed to Them?

     How long until the President acts like he cares about the people he was so eager to serve?  The campaigning starts in about six months – then you will see some empathy and concern…sure, you will.

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Final Installment of K2 Khronickles

     Fearless Readers, we have come to the end of an era of sorts, a very short era – the era of legal THC.  We missed our chance to get in on the legal LSD up until 1967 and this gave us a chance to try new drugs and see what we could see with the aid of them.  Now, the shelves are empty and we still have seen no legal notice of a final rule in the Federal Register.  The media won, again.

     There will be more fake marijuana products coming down the line.  They are already available in some places.  It is sort of like when the US made amphetamine use illegal and spawned the multi-million-untaxed-dollars-a-year ‘meth’ market.  Smith Kline and French could have made a mint with their Dexedrine Spansules or the good old Bi-Phetamine 20s (the original ‘black beauties’) and taxes would have been paid on every purchase, at one level or other, and they could even have been regulated.  Now, every bucktoothed hillbilly from here to Sheboygan and beyond is making ‘fake’ speed in bathtubs, sinks and even in moving vehicles.  No taxes get paid on this stuff and it is a thousand times more dangerous than the real thing, which is given to students in grade school for treatment of ADHD.

     Recently, we took some Roxanol brand morphine and noticed that the pills are banana flavored.  This makes them a nice match for the grape flavored dexedrine tablets, called Adderall, which is what the kids in school get.  What a lovely, fruity combination!  What spells ‘gateway’ better than candy-covered, mind-altering drugs? 

     Not anybody can sell these confectionary compounds.  It costs a lot of money to make grape flavored speed; only big corporations who can pay off the officials we elect are allowed to sell stuff like that.  Imagine the fuss if a parent were to suggest the inherent danger in coating powerful chemicals with Pandora’s powder of sweet, sweet, sugary goodness.  Imagine the outrage over all those young lives lost to swallowing sweets.  It would be even worse than our upcoming diabetes epidemic, scheduled tentatively for 2020…but this ain’t pot so that will never happen.  Just one of life’s little ironies.

     Gentle Readers, you may have any opinion you wish as regards these substances. If you are for them or against them, you can find plenty of support online in chatrooms full of people who share your views.  One funny thing about the chatrooms, websites, organizations and other entities that concern themselves with such subjects – there really is no correct answer or proper view.  There is always a question-mark hanging over all participants and nobody logs off with a real, concrete answer…more often, a feeling of anxiety lingers.

     Many find this lack of answers to be quite frustrating.  Most frustrated are the majority of us, who are lied to, manipulated, bought, sold and shoveled shit to, by the media.  Less frustrated are the so-called power brokers who create and develope the standards by which we are ruled. Ruled.  That is the status of the K2 law…pre-rule.  The rule never made it to print in the Federal Register so it is technically still legal, if you do your own homework and use documents provided by the government.  Ask anybody and they will tell you it is illegal, however, because they saw it on the news or on the web.  If it is on one of those places, it has to be true…no?

     You can’t fool all of the people all of the time…how many times have we heard that?  It doesn’t matter, just so long as you fool most of them.  As long as the majority is confused, people foolish enough to waste time spewing the honest truth can say all they want; they have been diffused.  They can tell the truth all they want and the bad guys will still fuck us all over.  People do have memories, though.  Honesty always prevails, eventually, but much suffering has occurred throughout history while waiting for honesty to prevail.  It takes time.

     We have reached a tipping point, in many ways.  The world’s foremost scientists say we have passed the tipping point, in terms of saving the planet from we humans.  Whales are getting sunburns because the ozone is so thin, which is documented fact, while our leaders tell us they still have no concrete evidence that global warming exists.  This is why we should not follow leaders.

     We feel bad for those Dear Readers who have children that will have to face the rapidly deteriorating quality of life in the Western World.  The Eastern World will probably just be getting the final touches of their infrastructures in place when the big shoe finally falls.  You can develop India and Bangla Desh all you want but they will still be underwater, with most of Florida,  if ocean levels rise two more inches.  It is just a matter of so much more melted snow and the polar bears are running out of room already.

     Then there will be mass migrations to the USA and there will be even less to go around.  American Dream – yes, that is what it is.  There is no future here unless things take a drastic and dramatic turn.  As complacent as society has become, all the drama has moved to Congress, a place where level heads lose to cheap dramatics.

     So, with so many things sucking so badly, we close the folder on the K2 Khronikles in order to focus on other, more pertinent issues.  We will report any new laws or findings or anecdotal information we come across, as regards K2, Spice, Mr. NiceGuy, Black Mambo and the others, of course.  The subject has not fallen completely off our radar.

     We shall return and we shall still be Celebrating 50 Years of Substance Abuse but we will take the forum in a slightly different direction, as you, Gentle Friends and Fiendish Foes, will see.

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Ouchhy…I Need A Morphine

     Gentle Readers, many people make disparaging comments about the opiates. They are the drug that pot is the gateway to – even though there are 100 times as many pot users as there are heroin addicts. The point is, there IS NO gateway drug.

     After the accident on Wednesday, in the freezing rain, the usual paperwork and insurance covering ensued. Part of the process was loading the car onto a tow truck, since it could not be driven with the driver’s side window blacked out.

     In process of preparing the car for the tow, Your Humble Narrator backed out the passenger side door of his trusty automobile and, forgetting he was four feet off the ground on the bed of a tow truck, tripped over a six-inch lip that borders the truck bed and took a tumble four feet to the asphalt and ice below. Ever spry at 53 years, I popped right back up before a single, mean neighbor had a chance to laugh at my mishap.

     I must have landed like Spiderman, judging from the bruises on my fingertips and the small amounts of blood coming from beneath my freshly-trimmed fingernails. Obviously, the fall was broken by my quick thinking and my right side took the brunt of my weight crashing to Earth.

     While we enjoy abusing the substances as much as possible, we are using some precious Roxanol brand morphine to help the battered body deal with the pain. It is rather hard to type too much and so this is one of the shortest blogs you may see from CFYSA. We had it stored for mellow evenings, lackadaisically dropping the blue pills and washing them down with the thick, black Guinness. Today, the use is forced-therapeutic, and a waste of a good morphine sleep.

     Thank goodness the blog goes on, but there will be changes in days to come. We will still be CFYSA but we will no longer be writing The K2 Khronickles, as that drug is no longer available and we will explain in full once healing has proceeded a bit further.

     We have an ouchhy and we need our morphine and valium and…well, you know!

                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     By the by…the newest issue of Beatdom is about to hit the stands! The artwork is brilliant!  The writing is top-notch, as to be expected. The subject of the issue is SEX.

     Watch for more Beatdom news soon!

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Another Janu-scary Smashup!!!

     Frozen Followers, last evening we on the East Coast of the US were treated with yet another storm.  This is not so unusual in and of itself, aside from the fact that our car lost control on the ice and while making a right turn, slid sideways to the left, introducing itself to the sign at the entrance of the shopping center where an emergency supply of Temptations brand cat treats were waiting.

     Luckily, the car has a good insurance policy, since the sign not only showed us where the market was, but also busted my windshield and sent a glorious shower of broken glass spraying from the hole where the drivers’ side window used to be. Nobody was injured and the car was able to be driven home, at which time we passed a few other vehicles resting inappropriately (creative way to say ‘smashed into’) lamposts and gaurdrails.

     This is our third Saturn, a deep sea blue, L300 Sedan. It is a nice car and got us back home. It is seven years old, almost to the day, from date of purchase and has only about 65,000 miles on it. In 2004, on Janu-scary (a bizarro word, lifted from Superman comics) the 24th, our second Saturn got, in the venacular, totalled. That was a smaller, red, sporty model with a cool decal of the planet Saturn on each side. We had traded in the previous model, which was exactly the same, minus the decal, just to get the planet on the side.

     Calculating in Leap Years, it would seem that this collision happened exactly seven years after the last one. This time the car survived, instead of ending up in a twisted mess of broken plastic connected to an engine. This time we did not break the windshield with forehead, like last time.

     Seven years ago, the accident occurred after nine hours of drinking Irish cidre at a traditional celtic bar, where the music started at 11am on Saturdays. Seven years ago, freezing rain was also the culprit since it was not discernable when walking across the graveled parkinglot. The streets were not slippery but the on-ramp to the highway was frozen and a car with four youths (yutes) lost control about ten yards ahead.

     We hit the brakes (the editorial we, as noted in The Big Lebowski) and watched as the shiny, red Saturn slowly and deliberately plowed into the haplessly spinning, white Toyota. The police came and were quite nice to us, giving us a ride to the police station to call a cab. The car had minimal insurance, even though it was only a year old, so your Humble Narrator had to make car payments on two vehicles for four years, a situation which sucked, to put it bluntly. This time we were armed with the ‘full tort’ premium insurance and everything is covered.

     Much medication was used in the process of calming down after the show last night but after awhile, everything melted together like morphine in a glass of Guinness.

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State of the Nation…Will His Nibs Continue to Screw American Oil Companies?

     Gentle Readers,

     Last night, we watched the Asian news, which is really today’s news, broadcast twelve hours ahead of time. This type of news from Asia is of the financial nature and deals with what is happening with the world markets at that hour, like CNBC and Bloomberg Business news do during the day in America.

     We could not help but notice how so many foreign nations are having record-breaking outputs of crude oil in recent months. The statistics are staggering. We all should be staggered, since the Gladhander-In-Chief will not allow America to make any money on oil. This in the middle of a so called, media-driven economic crisis.

     Why does America buy oil from other countries when we have oil companies right here that are all bollocksed up in the barbedwire of the Obama Doctrine. We have oil. We could make money and charge taxes and put people to work and help the economy, sort of like we could with marijuana. In fact, it is ironic that the pot advocates often note how oil can be made from the marijuana plant, which is why the big oil companies pay your elected officials to vote against legalizing it.

     Doesn’t anybody in government want their own country to start making profits on something?

      Your Humble Narrator does not have much more to say on the subject now but it is something we hope to comment on tomorrow. In the meantime, we are wondering if he is going to use his patented ‘black preacher’s voice’ tonight, as he often does in emotional situations. I think that voice is very manipulative and am amazed he does not have comedians doing stand-up about it…but that would sound racist.

     Let’s see how bad we get screwed again tonight. The show never ends!

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In the Poetry Corner With the Metal Machines

     Brilliant Readers,

     We were happily surprised that our last blog from the Beat CookieJar went over so well! We had been trying to think of new subjects, like K2, which would cause a stir but were happy to see that a bit of poetry gets more readers than a rant about our less-than-stellar form of government. The last poem got more views than anything we posted since the one about Obama getting the shotgun blast to the face.

     You may wonder what iambic pentameter is doing in the Beat jar but Allen Ginsberg told me I had a gift for the rhyme and that a lot of my poems would make very good song lyrics. It is on record in the Ginsberg Archives, if you care to see. Ginsberg, himself, had taken an interest in songwriting and rhyming meters at the time, which was during the heady ‘Punk’ days of the mid-1970s.

     All of my poems are open to interpretation since I will never explain them, so take it as you will and this one is titled, Metal Machines.

                                

                                    The metal machines move, mashing,

                                    gleaming, reaming blades all gnashing

                                     – a million daggers slashing,

                                     slicing, tearing, digging, thrashing –

                                     and chains that strike home smashing.

                                      like a billion forearms bashing;

                                      the victim stands alone.

                                      The victim’s skin flies, splashing,

                                       his life before him, passing –

                                       – before his eyes all flashing –

                                       like a flaming film impassioned,

                                       while the machine keeps fiercely crashing

                                       through the skull and finally smashing

                                       dead, bruised skin and splintered bone.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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One From the Poetry Corner

     Gentle Readers,

     As much as we like to complain about the world, give advice, rib the politicians and insult as many people as possible while holding you, Dearest Readers, in the most humble regards, today we put aside the vitriol and dig into the Beat CookieJar to come up with a poem by Michael Hendrick, which is called, simply, Spider.

     We hope you enjoy it.

                                   There is a spider in my bathroom.

                                    I watch him from the toilet.

                                    He has webbed the radiator

                                    but I wouldn’t want to spoil it.

                                    So I roll a ball of tissue,

                                    barely bigger than a fly,

                                    then flick it into the gossamers

                                     just to fool the little guy.

                                     He rushes to the decoy,

                                     hanging from his silky thread

                                     but then he hears me laughing

                                     and shakes his fuzzy head.

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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More Rights Down the Drain. Police Can Search Without A Warrant. NORML Stands By.

     Dearest Readers,

     Today we have more news on why AmeriKa is becoming less and less of the great country it once was.

     The Supreme Court has such a bone on for reefer that they are changing basic seacrh and siezure laws so that a cop can claim they smelled the odour of pot coming from your residence and kick your door down. If you live in an apartment and the person in the apartment next to you is omitting the smell of burning reefers, then they can kick your door in because ‘it smelled like it was coming from there.’  This is getting bad and they wonder why politicians are getting shot in the head. Laws like this will cause a lot more shootings and I will KILL anybody who forces their way into my home for any reason. I have the firepower and I am getting old, with not too much to lose…this from the ‘hempnews’…

Supreme Court Looks At Smell-Based Home Searches For Pot

by admin

January 19, 2011 – Police smelling marijuana coming from behind an apartment door can enter the home without a warrant if they believe the evidence is being destroyed, some U.S. Supreme Court Justices said on Wednesday.

More than 60 years ago, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police couldn’t enter a residence without a warrant just because they smelled burning opium, reports Adam Liptak at The New York Times.

On Wednesday, during the argument of a case about what police were entitled to do upon smelling marijuana outside the door of a Kentucky apartment, two justices were concerned that the Court may be ready to eviscerate the 1948 ruling which stemmed from a Seattle case.

​ “Aren’t we just simply saying they can just walk in whenever they smell marijuana, whenever they think there’s drugs on the other side?” asked Justice Sonia Sotomayor, considering what a decision against the defendant would tell the police. “Why do even bother giving them a search warrant?”

The old ruling, Johnson v. United States, involved the search of a Seattle hotel room. The smell of drugs could provide probably cause for a warrant, Justice Robert H. Jackson wrote for the majority, but it did not entitle police to enter without one.

“No suspect was fleeing or likely to take flight,” Justice Jackson wrote. “The search was of permanent premises, not of a movable vehicle. No evidence or contraband was threatened with removal or destruction.”


Since the War On Drugs was re-started by President Ronald Reagan in the 1980s, the Supreme Court has steadily given police more leeway to search cars, travelers and baggage, reports David Savage at the Los Angeles Times. But the justices have been reluctant to allow searches of homes without a warrant.

In the new case, Kentucky v. King, police in Kentucky were looking for a suspect who had sold cocaine to an informant. They smelled burning marijuana coming from another apartment — where Hollis King and his friends were smoking marijuana — knocked loudly, and announced themselves.

When they heard sounds coming from inside that made them think evidence was being destroyed, they kicked the door in and found marijuana, cocaine, King, two friends, and some cash, but not the original suspect, who was in another apartment.

King was sentenced to 11 years(!) in prison, but the Kentucky Supreme Court overturned his conviction and threw out the evidence, ruling that any risk of drugs’ being destroyed was the result of the decision by police to knock and announce themselves rather than to obtain a warrant. The Kentucky court ruled that officers had entered the apartment illegally and that the evidence they found should not have been considered in court, reports Robert Barnes at The Washington Post.

The key issue is whether an “exigent” or emergency circumstance allows the police to enter a residence without a warrant. Sadly but no longer shockingly, Obama Administration lawyers joined the case on the side of Kentucky’s prosecutors.

The police who broke into the apartment “reasonably believed that there was destruction of evidence occurring inside,” said Ann O’Connell, an assistant to Obama’s Solicitor General.

Prosecutors for Kentucky and the federal government told the justices Wednesday that the Kentucky court had erred. They claimed there had been no violation of the Fourth Amendment, which bars unreasonable searches, because they claimed police had “acted lawfully.”


​But Justice Elena Kagan had doubts about that approach.

If the court looks only at the lawfulness of police behavior, Justice Kagan said, that “is going to enable the police to penetrate the home, to search the home, without a warrant, without going to see a magistrate, in a very wide variety of cases.”

All the police would need to say, Justice Kagan said, is that they smelled marijuana and then heard a noise. “Or,” she added, “we think there was some criminal activity going on for whatever reason and we heard noise.”

“How do you prevent your test from essentially eviscerating the warrant requirement in the context of the one place that the Fourth Amendment was most concerned about?” Kagan asked Kentucky Assistant Attorney General Joshua D. Farley, who claimed the police had done nothing that violated the Fourth Amendment.

Justice Sotomayor was even more direct, asking “Aren’t we just doing away with ‘Johnson’?”

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg asked why the police could not simply roam the hallways of apartment buildings, sniffing for pot, knocking whenever they smelled marijuana, then breaking in if they “hear something suspicious.”

“That would be perfectly fine,” Kentucky Assistant Atttorney General Farley replied.

Justice Antonin Scalia revealed some unflattering things about his worldview — which, God help us, seems to be that of a judgmental 10-year-old — as he said he was not troubled by the standard the government lawyers proposed. He said that police can’t go wrong by knocking loudly on the door.

“There are a lot of constraints on law enforcement,” Justice Scalia said, “and the one thing that it has going for it is that criminals are stupid.”

Scalia said that “criminals” often cooperate with police when not legally required to do so. They might open the door and let officers inside — and if not, the police can break in, he said.

“Everything done was perfectly lawful,” Scalia said. “It’s unfair to the criminal? Is that the problem? I really don’t understand the problem.”

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