Tag Archives: MILF

Poetry Corner (Warning XXX Explicit Material. Parents Be Warned!)

     Leering Letches and Creepy Crawldaddies,

     Today we ask our Gentle Readers to harken back to those wonderful days when porn was on paper and could be hidden under the mattress. The Golden Age of Porn produced many unique publications, such as the pictured issue of Al Goldstein’s National Screw.

     National Screw, like Playboy, was not only rife with lascivious and salacious material but was found to be ‘socially redeeming,’ thanks to essays by contributors such as William S. Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg and other highly-respected literary figures of the time. The upcoming issue of Beatdom takes aim at the same concept, only without showing close-ups of moist, pink labia in between photos of serious authors. With magazines like these, the joke used to be“I only buy it for the articles.” 

     Good, old smut has pretty much gone the way of the web, with programmes available which allow a user to insert penis into a device which simulates the sensations of the sex act, while watching a video that is synched-up to the ‘pleasure portal’. Just too weird for us at CFYSA…not only does it take away the fantasy that served as stimulus to ‘yank the carrot’, it masturbates you, too.  There are limits to what is good about being a DIY, ‘Do It Yourselfer’.

      That said, we are not sure what kids do these days. In the waning decades of the last century, sex was a popular way for men and women to pass time together. A common way to find and engage a partner in sex was to go to the public park system with beer and pot. Sitting on the lawn, near the parkinglot, a hedonistic type could smoke pot, become inebriated and when an attractive member of the opposite gender passed, ask her if ‘you want to party?’  Most often, we sat on the lawn along the lot, inbetween the parked cars and the Ladies rest rooms, in order to catch more traffic.

     One bright, sunny day, in the company of an idiot and former acquaintance named Chuck, we sucked down Rolling Rock beers and waited to meet some ‘company’. We were rather drunk that early Spring afternoon and our luck was not with us. Halter tops were a popular article of clothing for women to wear at the time and they were a good thing, in that they allowed a partial view of the breasts of the woman who wore one.

     A number of beers into the ‘party,’ Chuck (who is now a red-nosed, fat bastard who cannot even see his toes without a mirror) had a revelation, an inspiration…an original thought! Original thought can be a good thing in the minds of some people. In his mind, the logical conclusion formed that since we, as men, enjoyed the soft, white skin revealed by the halter, then it was only normal that women take just as much pleasure in seeing a bit of scrotum. If they show us theirs, they must want to see ours…this was his logic.

     While the display of wrinkly flesh did not yield results, it was worth a try. Your Humble Narrator did not try sunning his scrotum for fear of blistered balls but did record a partial account of the events of that day. And, so, My Confidantes, today we present a poem which takes us back to those Golden Days of the early 1980s… 

A Day At The Parkway

Jaws of flocks

of the shocked

dropped

as Chuck’s cock flopped

onto the top of the rock.

Like prunes?” he mocked.

The eyes of the cop

popped

as loose cumdrops slopped,

then dripped down the walls

of his fetid balls.

Me,

I read a book

and pretended not to look.

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Why Is The DEA Hawking Marinol for a Non-American Drug Company???

     Gentle Readers,

     Sometimes we see things in life that simply do not make sense. Very often, these things only make sense to the people who are putting cash in their pockets as a result of our blindness and confusion. Most often, we are taken for a ride that never ends, in a rickety vehicle known as the Legislature of the United States government.

     We pay taxes. We follow rules. We play the game. In the meantime, we put our trust in those individuals whom we believe have our best interests at heart. This is why the war on drugs will never end and medical marijuana will never be a national reality. One reason is apathy but it is hard to ignore the blatant misuse of office by those we put behind the big oak desks we could not afford for ourselves.

     As noted in a previous blog, we are lied to since youth about living in ‘one nation…indivisible, with liberty and justice for all’…except it is not for all. It is only for some. It is for the priveleged few. As noted in yet another blog, we elected a president who smokes marijuana himself, lives in a state where he can buy it legally and who gave permission to the goblins at the DEA to over-ride any state laws and sieze and arrest anybody who is sick enough to possess or use the controverisal ‘tempest in a teapot’.

     Obama can legally smoke pot in the White House, per local law. Notice how the DEA does not raid the marijuana stores in Washington, DC, or how you never even see or hear about them in the media, as you do with the ones in California. If Obama has anxiety and stress from the duties of office, he should pop a pill, not stoke a bowl, right?

     The DEA is supposed to be a US governement agency. Why do they advertise drugs from other countries as a cure to the lame, legislative tactics which are wasting millions of dollars a day…just think of one million dollars and one day to spend it. Don’t you wish somebody would elect you to waste money at such an accelerated rate? We are referring to the billions upon billions of dollars spent every year to stop you –THE VOTER – from enjoying the same rights as those morons you voted for.

     Consider the attached. It is disquised as information but it is one of the more well-written advertisements you will see coming out of the marketing world today. It is false, self-serving, possibly illegal for an agency to endorse a product and, best of all – you are paying for it!

     Remember that the company which makes Marinol is in Belgium, yet they pay a lobbyist agency to give cash ‘rewards’ to those people you voted for. Do you ever wonder how much money NORML, the make-believe Political Action Commitee which pushes pot legislation uses in its grand efforts to make things legal? Since 2001, the NORML PAC has contributed less than $44,000 to lobbying efforts. Compare this with the cash spent in Washington by marijuana’s biggest opponent, Big Pharma, at the rate ot $127 million in six months.

     Based on these figures, provided by the Fed itself, large drug companies have spent 5,772 times the amount that NORML did in the same decade to line the pockets of our corrupt leaders. Naturally, this does not all represent anti-marijuana lobbying but you must admit that any legal herbal cure is a big threat to the bottomline of the pharmceuticals.

     One fact that bothers me is that, in 2007, the makers of Marinol gave more to elected officials than NORML did in the whole decade. One fact that bothers me is that the PAC which is influencing our elected officials is spending Belgian money against American money…why does a Belgian drug company want to control our laws, or have a voice in them? The company which manufactures Marinol is, in itself, a PAC. Does that disturb you? It really should, if you care about your own country.

     I have belonged to two chapters of NORML. As a member, I made cash donations to both chapters of NORML. I never got a receipt and I never saw any accounting that shows the donation was used by NORML, much less how it was used. More and more, it seems like NORML is the perfect foil for the anti-pot government. They make some noise, don’t spend money and run from police when chased. Either way, they are as ineffectual as a flashlight on the sun. They are nice places to meet people who get high and to act like you are doing something positive but where are the accomplishments? There is no juice.

     Anyway, this is what the makers of Marinol got from the DEA for the cash they give them every year. I hope you enjoy reading it and seeing the information that is used to make our decisions for us since we cannot be trusted to have a free will…

“Medical” Marijuana – The Facts

  • Medical marijuana already exists. It’s called Marinol.

  • A pharmaceutical product, Marinol, is widely available through prescription. It comes in the form of a pill and is also being studied by researchers for suitability via other delivery methods, such as an inhaler or patch. The active ingredient of Marinol is synthetic THC, which has been found to relieve the nausea and vomiting associated with chemotherapy for cancer patients and to assist with loss of appetite with AIDS patients.

  • Unlike smoked marijuana–which contains more than 400 different chemicals, including most of the hazardous chemicals found in tobacco smoke-Marinol has been studied and approved by the medical community and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), the nation’s watchdog over unsafe and harmful food and drug products. Since the passage of the 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act, any drug that is marketed in the United States must undergo rigorous scientific testing. The approval process mandated by this act ensures that claims of safety and therapeutic value are supported by clinical evidence and keeps unsafe, ineffective and dangerous drugs off the market.

  • There are no FDA-approved medications that are smoked. For one thing, smoking is generally a poor way to deliver medicine. It is difficult to administer safe, regulated dosages of medicines in smoked form. Secondly, the harmful chemicals and carcinogens that are byproducts of smoking create entirely new health problems. There are four times the level of tar in a marijuana cigarette, for example, than in a tobacco cigarette
  • Morphine, for example, has proven to be a medically valuable drug, but the FDA does not endorse the smoking of opium or heroin. Instead, scientists have extracted active ingredients from opium, which are sold as pharmaceutical products like morphine, codeine, hydrocodone or oxycodone. In a similar vein, the FDA has not approved smoking marijuana for medicinal purposes, but has approved the active ingredient-THC-in the form of scientifically regulated Marinol.

  • The DEA helped facilitate the research on Marinol. The National Cancer Institute approached the DEA in the early 1980s regarding their study of THC’s in relieving nausea and vomiting. As a result, the DEA facilitated the registration and provided regulatory support and guidance for the study.

  • The DEA recognizes the importance of listening to science. That’s why the DEA has registered seven research initiatives to continue researching the effects of smoked marijuana as medicine. For example, under one program established by the State of California, researchers are studying the potential use of marijuana and its ingredients on conditions such as multiple sclerosis and pain. At this time, however, neither the medical community nor the scientific community has found sufficient data to conclude that smoked marijuana is the best approach to dealing with these important medical issues.

  • The most comprehensive, scientifically rigorous review of studies of smoked marijuana was conducted by the Institute of Medicine, an organization chartered by the National Academy of Sciences. In a report released in 1999, the Institute did not recommend the use of smoked marijuana, but did conclude that active ingredients in marijuana could be isolated and developed into a variety of pharmaceuticals, such as Marinol.

  • In the meantime, the DEA is working with pain management groups, such as Last Acts, to make sure that those who need access to safe, effective pain medication can get the best medication available.

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These Are NOT Pairs Of Fuzzy White Dicks…OK?

     Kindest Readers and Lowly Reptilians,

     It was recently brought to our attention that the wallpaper on this page is easily mistaken for two fuzzy, white, erect penises! Naturally, you can imagine how aghast we were to think that our Beloved Readers harboured such subliminally filthy thoughts.

     Upon pointing out to one reader that another reader thought the objects (which happen to be the two hind paws of my kool kat, Budderz, as are the tootsies featured above) the second reader blushed and said, “I thought they were penises, too!” Why do my readers look at kitties and see penises? Society, we guess, is the first to blame, with all its vaginas and penises and everything that goes with them.

     Perhaps it should be blamed on the growing mass of Plushophiles, those wacky people who like to dress in fuzzy animal costumes and have sex in public places. They even have their own language…”Yiff,” is how you connect and let a five and a half foot tall woman dressed like a bunny rabbit know that you want to have sex with her. I would imagine it to be a sound to make while having sex with another ‘furry’. We venture to guess that it is an acronym for “Yes I Fuck Furries.’ In the day of MILFs, YIFF gives cougars a whole new meaning. The vernacular of sex has changes so much since youth, when the same old terms had been in use for centuries and were only ‘new’ as we discovered them.

     If we hear the sound of ‘YIFF…YIFF…YIFF…YIFFYIFFYIFF…YIFF…O, YIFF!..yiffyiffyiff” coming from an open window or through the wall of a hotel room, we will understand now. Caution! Furries at play!

         This plushophilia has nothing to do with zoophilia, where a Gentle Reader enjoys having sexual relations with a mammal of a different breed than themself. This is two Gentle Readers dressed like plushy animals and having fun where the holes are cut out in the costumes…or not. Some plushophiles get off just on grooming each other.

     Public perception of this otherwise-normal activity has led to the general conclusion that all people who dress in furry animals suits are primarily motivated to do so as means to a sexual end. Personally, we at CFYSA would prefer a wetsuit, as many human juices do not remove easily from the fuzzy, pink shorthairs.   

    You have to give credit to mankind for coming up with new descriptive phrases and whole new angles on a practice which is anything but new. In some ways, this type of cross-pollination can be amusing…should it mutate too far, however, it could give rise to forms of conduct which we would not dare discuss on this page. When the fecalphiles start coming out of the closet, we hope to be on a cruise someplace far away.

     In the days ahead,we will find new wallpaper to enframe the words on this bit of drollery but until then, enjoy those dicks while you can! God knows there is enough of them out there!!!

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