Tag Archives: nicotine

New K2 News…Still Legal In Pennsylvania…

     Big, ugly Rep. Jennifer Mann today introduced legislation in Harrisburg, state capitol of Pennsylvania, to ban the use of K2, Spice and other synthetic cannabis products.  BTW, she is much older and heavier now than in the photo she uses on her website.  This photo is what she thinks she looks like and, even on a good day, she is still ugly on the inside.

     This action indicates that these things are still legal and there is no law against using them.  Look at the facts and do not let the press and media tell you what to do.  If they have to try to pass a law against it, like today, it shows that the action taken last year, HB176, was a failure.  Look at the facts.  There is no current law against JWH, K2 or any of the synthetic THC products in Pennsylvania, even though the news has been telling you different since November 23, 2010.  We repeat…LEGAL IN PENNSYLVANIA UNTIL BANNED.

     It is amazing how people believe anything they are told.  If you want the truth, you have to look for it, not wait for it to come conveniently packaged like Mr. Nice Guy Strawberry, whom I miss very much and may have to go look for again…

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Obama Drug War – 15 Headless In Acapulco, 6 Shot In Arizona – Thanks, Barack!

     Fretful Friends and Righteous Readers,

     We have been posting warnings about the style of class warfare which is growing at an unsurpassed rate since Obama started ruining any and all trust citizens had in their elected officials.

      We have been watching as The Man With No Plan has played fast and loose with our Constitution. We have been grousing over the injustice in a government where elected officials totally ignore the wishes of those who elected them in favor of privilege. Privilege?

     Privilege, like the privilege Pennsylvania Governor-Elect General Tom Corbett distributed when he sold seats on his cabinet to oil company insiders for a reported $1.5 million a seat; privilege like Tom Corbett bestowed upon the oil companies of his cronies by not charging any PA state taxes on oil and natural gas mined from the Marcellus Shale deposits here. A nice deal for only $1.5 million each and Corbett is sure to get under the table kickbacks in perpetuity.

     Do you blame the 22-year-old shooter, when developmental biologists all agree that young men in America do not reach the age of emotional and psychological maturity until age 30? Do you blame the manufacturer of the fire-arm or the maker of the bullets? Do you blame the 114-mile war zone which borders the southern edge of Arizona and is the point of entry for much of the marijuana that we Americans love so much and even Omama smokes legally, after some careful manipulation of DC drug laws?

     We blame Obama – directly. He is supposed to be the President, so he is the one who ought to take it on the chin for perpetuating a situation which can only lead to more violence, greed, money to the upper class and rapidly-declining quality of life for anybody who does not have the cash to buy-off an elected official. The kid with the gun needs help and Obama needs to be impeached. This type of behaviour will escalate as more rights and standards of living are stolen from ‘We, The People’.

     Soon, maybe not soon enough for us in the Northeast US, it shall almost be Spring and Fat Tuesday will be kicking off the Mardi Gras. Many people could visit the Gulf Coast, as often happens during the festivities. This year, there may be more visitors than residents, since the Obama-imposed ban on American Oil has put stores, restaurants, hotels and many other tourist attractions, as well as basic infra-structure serving the area, out of business.

     Why does Obama hate America so much? Why does he prefer to buy oil from our enemies and let the people of his own country suffer and starve? The obvious answer would be that he is a heartless bastard and the empty words he sputtered after the Arizona shootings did everything but put the finger of blame where it truly belongs…on our Senate, our Congress and in all our Houses of Representatives.

     We live in a country where our rights are bought and sold by the day and we do not even know it, in our complacency. The Nation should feel bad about the victims of the deluded gunman – it is our fault for allowing the media to hornswaggle us into voting an inept primadonna to the highest office in the land. We and Obama pulled that trigger, just as surely as Jared Loughner did. We allowed it to happen by not doing our homework and being fooled into voting a president via internet.

     Why do people grieve? Why the shock? Are you stupid, Gentle Readers? If not, what did you expect? As the rich get richer and the rest get nothing, Obama, Corbett, big, old NJ Gov. Christie Cartman and every other tool of policy get fatter…well Corbett and Christie do. We think it would be a good idea if those two would be put before one of the new Obama ‘death panels,’ which are part of his Final Solution to the health care issue. You ARE aware that, in your future, a government-appointed doctor will decide when it is time for you to die, depending on how much is left in your flexible spending account…aren’t you? If not, you will be surprised when they pull the plug on you. If not, you are part of the problem due to ignorance of the facts.

     But, Fair Followers, what about those fifteen headless corpses which were found just across the border on the same day? Do they count for anything, or are they just Mexicans?  While they were direct casualties, what about the ‘collateral damage’ in AZ? Pima County, AZ, Sheriff Clarence Dupkin, said it with much more truth than that sorry address Obama gave…

    “When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government. The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous,” he said. “And unfortunately, Arizona, I think, has become the capital. We have become the mecca for prejudice and bigotry.”

     Why has Arizona become the capital? Will people in the Gulf states have to eat mud until the Administration stops playing politics with the oil supply? Are more shootings in our future? As long as we fight a drug war which cannot be won because the people we elect do not want to give up the rewards they get from the pharma lobby by keeping marijuana illegal, people will die. As long as we are deprived of our Constitutional Rights until the sheer insanity of it unhinges the potentially violent…death is a fact of war. Stop the war, stop the deaths.

     Obama does not care for this country enough to stop the death. He thrives on it. It is his revenge for not being likable. If you voted for him, you ought to go look in the mirror and apologize to yourself and get used to what you have wrought.

     Cheers!

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My Favorite Substance Abuser – My Mom

     Greetings, All!

     The past week has been a melancholy spell for the abuserinos. The first week of October brings us the birthdays of Larry Fine, John Lennon, Bud Abbott, Groucho Marx, Buster Keaton, Jimmy Ray Vaughan – all people who made us laugh or entertained us with fine music, as are the gifts of the Libran. The week also brought the death of Janis Joplin on October 4, for a little extra chill on the pumpkin.

     Today, October 8, is my mom’s birthday. She died on April 16, 1999. She was a depression baby and money meant a lot to her. She hated paying taxes every year, so I was glad that she was able to escape the last payment in 1999. It was her little irony. Her name was Elizabeth Mary but most people called her ‘Betty’.

     She helped set me along my way on the trail to substance using and abusing, quite unwittingly. People thought differently back in the 50s and were not armed with the information we have today. She quit smoking whenever she was pregnant but, as I was the last child, I always knew her as a smoker. It is what killed her, in the end.

     She and my grandmother would sit in the front seat of the car. I forget what my mom smoked back then but her mom always smoked ‘Larks’. We would drive from store to store and the car would fill with smoke like a balloon is filled with helium. After breathing that in a few times, my neurotransmitters flipped a switch in my noggin and opened up the pathways for the dopamine to flow. I was in trouble already and I was only two. For awhile we had two houses and I could always count on a car full of smoke from the four hour drive to leave me puking at the side of the road, midway. They always said I was ‘carsick’ but I am sure I would puke again today, under the same situation.

     Our second home could not be accessed by auto. We had to park at Dunn’s Boat Livery on Big Moose Lake in New York. There we uncovered our boat and loaded it with provisions (I say we, collectively – as in a family) and skipped across the wild waters to our place in the South Bay. Once there, you were stuck. I guess there was always plenty of beer but milk and/or baby formula ran dry, eventually. That is when my baby bottle would be filled with beer and, thanks to still more brain cells, I would drink to blissful slumber, never knowing that the dopamine seeking beasts of nicotine and alcohol had already made their homes in my impressionable little skull. Below is my mom at our place on Big Moose.

     That is why I am able to celebrate 50 years of substance abuse, actually more. My birthday was recently, which dropped me into my 54th year. I turned 53 a few weeks ago but only realized that I am in my 54th year yesterday. All those years to figure out that you are really older than you sound. In my fourteenth year, I tried everything that kids do…smoking and drinking had been there all through childhood, so I don’t even count the babybottles or the drinks my cousin and I drank from at the adult parties. At fourteen, I was smoking pot, tripping, trying any new substance I could and in the early to mid-70s, there were a ton of them.

     In my 54th year,  I have taken pot and LSD, K2 and legal drugs like codeine, amphetamine, barbituric acid and valium. Those were was taken consciously, as it was in my fourteenth year, so I can now lay claim to tripping and smoking for 40 years. I have not tripped every year but some of the years inbetween made up for that in sheer quantity consumed.

     Mom didn’t much like me and my substance abuse but she put up with it. She knew where all my pot was hidden, almost preturnaturally. Once I bought a half an ounce of Jamaican that was so good that I actually went blind from it for five minutes. We smoked two bones between four of us and it hit me and the lights went out. I was scared as hell that I would never see again. My sight came back slowly and I calmed down. I hid the pot inside a pillow, inside a pillowcase, on my sister’s bed. My mom found it.

     She always had a soft heart for me, though. Once, I had hollowed out a book and stuffed it with a couple bags of reefer and a half an ounce of PCP, cut into gram and half-gram packets. When I returned to the book, the pot was missing but the plasticine packets of white powder remained. That puzzled me and I questioned her about it at some later date. She told me, “I know you smoke that crap but I know you would never take that other stuff.” What a great explanation. Go sell the white powder but don’t smoke the green stuff.

     I got caught smoking pot in my room on the day my sister got married. My old man punched me in the jaw and I ran out of the house. My friends and cousins, frozen in fear with my father raging in the room, told me that my mom came into the room and said, ‘”Sure, he smokes it. He hides it here…and here…and here…”, as she went from stash to stash and proved that she was no dummy.

     In later years we drank together, usually after meals. She taught me how to hide the empties. Once, at our NY home, my old man was putting in a new oil burner and getting rid of the old wood stove that had kept the place warm for years. When the stove pipe to the ceiling was removed, countless scores of stashed empties fell out. She would also open at a time two beers and drink one, leaving the other sit like it was empty. Good trick. My dad didn’t like anybody having more fun than him but she found her way around it.

     In high school, she would buy cases of beer for me because she said I would just get in trouble if I tried to buy it by myself. She would be in jail for that today but it was a caring gesture, from one enabler to another.

     There are a lot of good stories about my mom, which will turn up in my novel, Egypt Cemetery. I could write a lot more but the blog is full and I am on my way to visit her grave.

     Happy Birthday, Mom!

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Substance Abuse, Addiction and Cruelty to Animals

     Greetings Animal Lovers and Lowlife Highballs Everywhere!

     On this shiny, sunny Saturday, let us discuss our closest friends, those who we see the most on weekends like this – our pets.

     In the pictured microwave is Copernicus, or Pernie, the first cat I ever owned. My ex-wife brought him home on our ‘honeymoon’ and he and my love of cats are the only lasting gift she gave me of any type. Pernie wanted to see the inside of the fridge so I put him in and snapped a shot of him sniffing at a pint of milk that was as tall as he was. The next photo-op was right there, the microwave.

     CFYSA, nor the author of this blog, do not suggest or abide by putting any living thing in a microwave, unless it is a microbe living on some week old food and you want to kill it before taking further chances with your life. We despise cruelty to any animal.

     First, a question that has plagued me. If you get your dog high on pot, is that cruelty to animals? If they change the law and make it legal for humans will it still be illegal for pets and regarded as a form of cruelty? We have witnessed numerous friends blow smoke into canine faces, waiting for a humorous reaction to brighten the day.

     One cat I know of begs for pot. Her owner has three cats, all black/grey striped tabbies. They all look like the same cat, except for varying weights. One cats distinguished itself from the others everytime her owner lit a bowl of marijuana. The cat would smell it, climb up onto her lap and stick its feline face out with lips pursed (I swear). This was the signal beg. At this point, the owner blew a stream of smoke into the cats mouth and the cat inhaled. I saw this less than three months ago and I do not embellish. Was it abuse? Did it hurt the kittie? The kittie begged for it and animals know what is good for them, right?

     Look at Youtube, we all like to have a laugh on our pets. My fav is to get the tuna that comes packed in oil, instead of water. To a kittie, it smells like the same old tuna juice but once they taste it, the tongue is coated with an oil. A cat will stick it’s tongue out of it’s mouth to an extraordinary length, trying to ‘lick off’ the oil. It is harmless but they catch on too quick.

     Now let’s talk about some real abuse, the kind that your pet does not deserve.

     As a substance abuse expert, I am constantly consulted for opinion and drawn into arguments. One, perhaps the most common, argument is the cigarette vs pot debate. First, I do not tell friends what or what not to do with their bodies, unless maybe they have birdshit on their back and don’t know it. Being a cancer survivor, I need to avoid second hand smoke at all costs, plus it stinks and make me sick to my stomach.

     At any rate, the cigarette argument always turns to the 599 different chemicals which are added to cigarettes by the big tobacco companies. These chemicals are to make the ciggy burn correctly also and more importly, these chemical enhance the ‘nicotine delivery’ system. We will talk brain science in a future post and address the ‘delivery system’. (If this sounds like a lot of chemicals, look it up on Google, you can see for yourself.)

     Here at CFYSA, we do not give two hoots about whether you smoke a cigarette ot not. We do care when it gets in our faces or when the neighbor’s smoke drifts through my open windows on warm weekend days like this. Do what you want. Or, as Crowley put it, ‘Do as thy will shall be the whole of the law’. That applies to our own bodies, not the bodies of our pets.

     Thre is a reason I put Pernie’s pic at the top of this blog. He died from lung cancer. When he was given to me, I smoked two and a half packs of Salem 100s a day. I think my wife smoked the same brand and about the same amount.

     What pet owners do not consider when they light up the death stick, is that smoke settles. It falls. Unless your pets sleep on a ceiling, the smoke will fall on them, covering their furry, or in some cases fuzzy, coats. Along with the smoke, comes the 599 chemicals. Cats, especially, are fastidiously clean animals. They lick every last inch of themselves and if they have siblings, they take care of getting the hard to reach places for each other. Animals are so much nicer to each other than humans!

     So, if you like to watch your cat clean itself while you sit there and have a cigarette, take the ciggy and stick in in your eye, just once. You deserve it, since you have just coated your pet with chemicals, not to mention the stench of tobacco. The additives, including benzene, chlorine, alcohol, acid, ether, oil and 593 others, most of which I can’t pronounce, now coat your pet like oil on a cats tongue, only worse.

     Your pet will lick itself clean and all of these dangerous, insidious and unknown substances, will go from tongue to throat to bloodstream to organs to the vet’s office to the grave. Is that the kind of pet owner you want to be?

   (I need to thrown in an aside – in looking at the list of additives. I saw a number of herbs which are not officially FDA recommended for use by humans. Some of these very same herbs are used in the making of jwh018 preparations like Spice and K2. It is legal for the tobacco companies to feed the public a hidden dose of the same thing they are outlawing nationally, something even worse really, since tests prove that ciggys kill but no legislator ever took time to do research or to commission research on jwh products. It has to do with those checks from the tobacco lobby. If you doubt that, just look for tobacco lobby checks to congress on youtube and you can watch one of our elected, paid-by our taxes senators hand them out to his fellow porkbarrel buddies. Sen. Boehner, I believe.)

     To be honest, that is the biggest abuse issue I can see with animals. The same chemicals do the same things to children in harms way of the smoke, but as this is an adult forum. We worry for cats and dogs, not your kids. That is your job. It is bad enough that I have to pay school taxes every year and never even had a kid.

     If anybody has an animal that enjoys substance abuse, we at CFYSA would love to hear about it. Maybe you have one of those frisbees with the pot pipe built into it and you light it before throwing it for fido to fetch. My youngest cat, Budderz, loves the k2. I never let him have any or blow it on him but he always wants to have the bag when I open it. If I put some in a pipe, he stares at the bowl until the leaves are burnt and no fragrance remains. He is more attracted to the smell of K2 than he is to catnip, which I grow fresh for him out back.

     So, have a nice weekend. Be good to yourself and your pets, and abuse some substances, too. Remember how much you love your pets and keep them away from smoke and other harm.

     See you Monday! Enjoy!!!

    

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Final Cure For Addiction and More Substance Abuse

Greetings, Katz and Kittenz,

Today brings good tithings to all the substance abusers out here in Etherland. Jews have always been blessed with the Day of Atonement and Christians have always been forgiven for sins by admitting them to the Lord.  Now, by the grace of God, the US Food and Drug Administration has voted to approve a new biotech drug to cure drug addiction!

     This is wonderful! Now people who have wanted to abuse substances but worried about addiction can rest at ease. Now you do not have to worry about the horrible nightmares you have heard about withdrawal and all the agonies involved with quitting a drug. Now, you go out, get as high as your brain can handle – chase that colourful dragon, snort that spooky heroin, get as messed up as you possibly can – and when you are done having your little debauchery, all you have to do is ask the doctor for Vivitrol, the once a month addiction cure, and Hey! Presto!, you are clean and sober.

     Is this great or what???

     In it’s infinite wisdom, the FDA has taken the moral choice of remaining sober out of your hands and filtered it into a handy little syringe and all you have to worry about is side effects of Vivitrol. William S Burroughs, who shot up heroin for approximately 40 years, posed the thought that heroin was organic and did not hurt the system, in and of itself. It was the societal stress and living conditions forced upon the addict which made the addict miserable, Burroughs wrote. Obviously, he knew something because as you see by his photo (inset), he lived to a ripe and very active old age of 83. My father died at 81 and he was allergic to codeine. He died from smoking tobacco 71 years non-stop, which is totally legal. Maybe if he had chosen heroin, he would still be here today.

     Bottomline is this: once again the fed has taken the decision out of your hands. Thirteen (nice number for a drug panel, huh?) FDA officials voted on what will control our lives. These thirteen individuals are on the federal payroll, paid-by-lobbyists and must agree with what they are told to do or else lose the seat on the gravy train.

     What is it? Naltrexone is an opioid receptor antagonist, which means it works with the parts of the brain which react with and allow us to enjoy opiate narcotics. It comes in the handy syringe, as stated, but an implant is in the works for those who need to be controlled more fervently.

     It is called Vivitrol and was approved for use on alcoholism in 2006. Claims are also made which state that Vivitrol can also be used to treat gamblers, kleptomaniacs, smokers, over-eaters and anybody else who may offend society by not controlling these habits through the outdated method of self-control.

      Sadly, and most telling about our FDA, is that 50% of autistic children who were given the drug became notably more socially interactive. This would be great news for parents of autistic children but the media doesn’t mention them. They want to talk about addicts and abusers, like me. I am so freaking popular!

     Another thing Burroughs was right about was that the war on drugs would be used to control society. Look at statistics on prisoners held in the USA. Look at how the majority are not caucasian and notice what the majority of them are incarcerated for – drug possession. This is a perfect way to blame drugs in an effort to keep those bad people with the coloured skin under control. The Fed really likes to get as much bang for the buck as it can, considering it is your money, not their’s. Should we thank them?

     Side effects? Good question, Gentle Readers! Thanks for stopping my digression.

     First of all, Vivitrol is metabolized by the liver so people with liver problems need to avoid it. We at CFYSA find it strange that a drug which causes liver damage is directed for sale and use to people who have compromised their livers to a great degree, alcoholics and drug addicts. Everything gets metabolized by the liver (duh). Is this just a dodgy way for crafty feds to kill off the ‘problem people’ in society? It sure makes a body wonder.

     Other potential side effects that the maker, Alkermes, Inc., admits to include necrosis (the skin surrounding the injection site all dies so it has to be removed surgically, leaving a nice big scar), hepatitis (get that from a bad needle, it is safer), stomach pain, yellowing of skin and whites of eyes (as seen in liver failure), liver failure, nausea, tiredness, headache, vomiting, loss of appetite, painful joints and muscle cramps, anxiety, chest pain, muscle cramps, rash, hives, suicidal thoughts, exhaution, dehydration and the list goes on…sure sounds a lot like plain old withdrawal.

     The thing about withdrawal is that you do it yourself, ultimately, you do not need injections or implants and most of the aforementioned symptoms fade away.

     With Vivitrol, you are locked in. An injection a month. That is big bucks to Alkermes, Inc, and more money in the FDA’s pockets thanks to the lobbyists. You are an addict for life, like it or not. You will be addicted to Vivitrol, as opposed to some other, say enjoyable, drug or substance. Try to get off it and suffer the pains. Pay up boy and move along. If any shooting up is gonna be done, we will do it. You ruined your arm anyway…

      So, Understanding Friends and Loveliest Enemies, what would you choose? We at CFYSA obviously prefer a fullblown addiction to the ghastly horrors of Vivitrol, as kindly described by it’s maker. We at CFYSA obviously prefer personal freedom to choose about anything our lives. We at CFYSA think this is the most screwed up ridiculous idea to come down the pike since Obama said he would not touch state pot laws and then let his drug czar loose on them while pot became legal in the White House for medical use.

     Obama was compared to JFK a lot and at least JFK smoked his pot in the White House illegally, like the rest of the people. He was not above the commoner who voted for him, like Obama who can legally do bong hits in the oval office according to Washington DC laws which were passed in his administration, while the rest of us have to deal with criminals or do without what the other half of the country is allowed to have.

     This may be a great day for substance abuse, with the Vivitrol news, but it is still not a great day for people who want a fair and impartial government. It is not a great day for parents of autistics. It is a good day for Alkermes stock price.

     Enjoy!

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Substance Abuse Is the Best Anti-Depressant

     Dearest Readers and Beloved Enemies, Our buddy Gil, the director of the Office of National Drug Policy, tells us he is disappointed that illegal drug use in America had risen nine percent in 2009.

     Gil says that 21,800,000 americans abused illegal drugs in 2009. That accounts for 8.7% of the population 12 years old and older. We at CFYSA would like to take the time to thanks all you newcomers for showing support! Old Gil is not proud of you but his pay will probably go up nine per cent as he hopelessly looks for a solution to your actions. If he ever finds a solution, his job will be terminated.

     When the ranks of the unemployed were almost reaching 10%, a scant one per cent above our number, those lucky jobless bastards got all sorts of attention from Obama, Wall Street and, last but never least, the bloated american media machine. We are approaching 10% strong and Gil is disappointed. I think the best thing for Gil, but not for me, would be a good, new-fashioned anti-depressant.

     The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report that the use of anti-depressant – lets call them ‘flatline’ since it is easier to type – flatline drugs rose a whopping 48% just between 1995 and 2002, alone. Newer statistics are unavailable but I think you get the picture. As we note in a previous blog, Gil can get legal medical marijuana because he is in Washington DC with the president and all the politicians who have offices there and who can also get legal medical pot.

     Ten per cent of the whole of a population is nothing to snort up, er, sneeze at, but it is still low compared to the 25% of americans who will have a major depressive episode at some time. Once they have the episode and get hooked on the flatliners, we have seen the last of their souls.

     Your happily intrepid experts here at CFYSA have tried most of these terrible pills and can understand why people are so depressed. First of all, never trust a drug that you have to take for a month before you see the results. It is brainwashing. It is wiping the slate of your brain clean of emotions.

     Emotions are the culprit here. We can’t deal with our emotions. Maybe that is because we fell for the american dream and it is not there anymore and we are looking at the reality of life as it will play out in our pathetic times. Emotions make us feel unpleasant things…we care for other people, get sexually aroused, interface socially in person, feel our own glad/sad/madness, think of things besides suicide, have fun, laugh, get hurt, take chances, do it all over again…all of those things which will disappoint us in the end; all those things which make us HUMAN.

     It is the American Way, since British Imperialism first soiled our shores, to take away anything which allows us to feel or think for ourselves. If we do not blindly follow, we are a danger.

     Did you ever see one of those tv commercials for these drugs where they tell all the side-effects at the end? They actually are selling one such flatliner that ‘can cause certain lymphomas’ in some patients. What they are saying is that the pills can give you CANCER but if we tell you first, we can get away with it…an american concept if ever there was one!

     All we have to do is take the pills we are told to take every day for a month and the next you know, we are flatlining our way directly to farmville, yo-ville and all points inbetween. No need for people when we are on anti-depressants. no need for laughing or sex when The Price Is Right is on Facebook. Just the need to take our meds every day, like Nurse Ratchet tried to force on R P McMurphy in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ an excellent novel, written by Ken Kesey while under the influence of the fun-to-abuse drug LSD.

     Kesey wrote it after ingesting very strong doses of LSD which were given to him by researchers who were trying to figure out if the CIA could use the stuff for developing ESP, extra sensory perception, and other funny brain tricks, in the agents who spy on us. It is not the story of a man. It is the lesson for american society. If you haven’t read it, please do. It is free at the library. If you have read it, then make like the Big Chief and throw that sink through the window and escape. You may not have a sink to throw but you do have a substance to abuse, if you look around.

     Reality is a problem in the scenario, as well. In my office days, I worked a lot of overtime. I needed the money to buy a house, make car payments, abuse stuff and buy new clothes for work. A typical day at the office for me was 545am-6pm. That is not just a lot of work, it is a lot of reality! If I started work at 545am, then surely I was smoking a bowl at 530am, then at a 10am, then at lunch, then a 2pm break, a 5pm break when everybody was leaving, one on the way home and another after dinner.

     Since I have retired from the rat race (where even if you win, you are still a rat), I no longer deal with a reality which is pressed upon me. I have my own reality. It kinda sucks, in a way, because I do not feel like getting high so much now, in my own reality. Now I do not get stoned in the morning or the afternoon, unless having a special occassion.

     We all have two realities – ours and the one they start trying to pull over our eyes as soon as we get to school. We are taught to learn this and be like that so we can make it to high school. In high school, we can pick a trade or prepare for college. If you are smart you will choose a trade. People who think they are smart generally choose college prep. When they get to college, they are encouraged to do well so that they get good grades and will build a good resume and end up in a job with a Fortune 500 company that has a nice pension plan for you.

     RRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG – wake the feck up, people! There are no more pensions. Fortune 500 companies have become the most unstable of places to waste your lives. Even your dear author got downsized from two of them in a row, where I had worked hard, become employee of the month, put in position of authority and then ‘downsized’ because I made too much money due to all the bonuses and raises I got from working hard. There is the reality of the american dream.

     The other reality, your own true reality, lives and breathes in our heart of hearts as we try to smoke, drink, exercise, pray, game, ignore and screw it out of our own conscious minds. We do this because we can’t reconcile what WE wanted to be with what they want us to become – in essence a nation of slaves that rally around the flag and stick our asses in the air to get screwed by any fatcat who has the inclination.

     We do as we are told and we are told to take anti-depressants. We do that until we wake up, which is often after we are old, bitter and too tired to complain. We couldn’t complain, anyway, because that would show some emotion.

     The fact still remains that we have this unbearable reality that is never going to work and it is being pushed on us. We can take the flatline pill and start to color by the numbers – OR, we can take matters into our OWN hands and abuse a nice friendly substance, like pot or maybe a nice Guinness stout or six (I’ll have the Magner’s Irish Cider, thanks). In the long run, we may feel funky for a few days, may have hangovers, may be tipsy of high – but we will be in control of our own brains. We will ‘choose our own poison’ like they said in the cowboy movies when deciding which liquor to drink.

     It is all not so easy as I make it sound, and we all know that. To my east, in the great state of New Jersey, citizens passed a law about seven or eight months ago to make marijuana legal for medical use in that state. It passed through the senate and the house with no flack and the governor at the time had promised to sign it as soon as it reached his desk. He was voted out of office in the great anti-dem groundswell caused by too much liberalism and now the legal marijuana is just out of reach of patients in NJ. One such person, a young man with multiple sclerosis, was jailed for growing mj plants for his own use – after the law had passed. He was thrown in stir, where his condition rapidly deteriorated due to his illness.

     The new guy in charge in NJ, Chris Christie, an over-fed parcel of pork who reminds one of ham, eggs, homefries and greasy lip-stains on a shirtsleeve, is known to voters as Governor Cartman.  Literally, billions of dollars in taxes from legal pot sales are going up in potential smoke because the law was supposed to change in summer but Cartman has not seen fit to put his pen to paper as quickly as he might fork to mouth. It is not like the money matters, since last week it was reported that he lost the state $480 million because he could not be bothered with correct paperwork.

     When we look around and see these things, who doesn’t feel the need to abuse something, who doesn’t want a drink? Ah-Ah-Ah! We are getting close to the forbidden zone of free thought. If you have a few drinks and mull the situation over, you may see it for what it is – better they shove a pill in your mouth so you stop thinking about this stuff. Those annoying feelings do lead to thoughts, you know, and thoughts can lead to action and that is the main reason they prefer us to flatline; they are afraid we will think and take action.

     So if you feel down, try an amphetamine. We suggest the legal ones, like adderall, since you won’t get arrested for having them and in some medical communities are found to be the perfect thing for getting us up and off our asses and back into the flow of being a living, viable person again. They are a great source of energy and have gotten a bad rap. The pill is not good or bad. That is the reality trip they try to force. How we act when we take the pill is either good or bad. If you take an amphetamine and, as a consequence, drink too much because your mouth is dry, stay up all night long because you are doing something interesting or stay up all week long because you are trying to kill something inside yourself – that is the bad abuse. The good abuse is when we take our uppers and eat and sleep and exercise and feel happy because we have all the time and energy we want and are not tired.

     If prone to anxiety and pot is not strong enough to overcome what the system is trying to do to us, valium or any of the benzo-diazapine family are excellent choices to cool our heels and not feel like we are being pushed to the slaughter pen. Joe Kiernan, on the stock program ‘Morning Call’ on CNBC, recently made a comment on air about how nice it is to mix oxycontin with wine. We do not suggest that but merely mention it to point out that Joe has a job that most people would kill for, has nice homes, a family, money out the wazoo and still likes to abuse the substances. Way to go, Joe. You are my favorite market analyst! You tell the truth.

     Isn’t that what all this is about…truth?

     Most people hate truth. If you are fighting with your lover or mate and want to get rid of them once and for all, try telling them the truth. It is usually much more vicious than anything you could make up. People hate the truth about themselves and, in so doing, build a screen of resentment against all truths.

     The flatliners get packaged, prescribed, sold and swallowed. Feelings are not expressed, orgasms become extinct, eyes glaze to a nice sheen and we do what we are told when we take them. Pot makes your eyes red and takes off some of the sheen. LSD will pop them out of the sockets and wash them in a solution that allows you to see again.

   Old Gil, meanwhile, is twiddling his thumbs behind a desk, down the street from a compassion center where he can buy kush or hashish and it is totally legal while our prisons are filled to capacity with people who made the mistake of having the wrong colour skin while smoking the same stuff Gil and Obama can get legally in DC. We have all seen the pics of Obama smoking pot by now, right? We have also heard of the people service LIFE sentences for simple ossession of small amounts of what the president is allowed to have legally. Is this the kind of place you want to raise shildren in?

     Gil works for the government and gets paid by our taxes and can do whatever the feck he wants as long as he keeps out of the papers. He can look at his numbers and reckon percentages and spend all day worrying about ‘eroding attitudes’ being the cause for senior citizens (the quickest growing segment of potsmoking substance abusers) and twelve year olds smoking the devil’s weed.

     If Gil is so disappointed, I wonder why he doesn’t take a nice anti-depressant. He is showing feelings.        

     Oh, yeah, he can just buy some legal pot. Way to go Gil!

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Substance Abuse Sundae

    

     Gentle Readers, as tomorrow is the start of that horrible work week and we only have so many precious hours left, let us partake in a sundae, to slake our thirst and have a laugh.

     Sixteen ounces of Robitussin with two generous scoops of vanilla ice cream, topped with whipped cream and a cherry and served in a small vase is what we need today.

     Robo-tripping, as it is known, is more prevalent and hard to detect than you can imagine. Countless teenagers have committed horrific acts of violence against themselves and others. Statistically, robo is very high on the list of items which are shoplifted. The closest description to a ‘strong dose’ is the comparison with ketamine, a powerful animal tranquilizer which makes peace officers glad they have stun guns, even though they are often ineffective against such pesky restraints.

     Teenagers all over the country use the robo to concoct a true substance abuse ‘sundae,’ known as Agent Lemon. Agent lemon is a sweet little compound containing robo DMX (dextromethorphan – aww, a poor orphanned meth!) with alcohol, household bleach, lighter fluid and lemon juice or some other citric acid. Sounds yummy already, huh? The fun part is heating it on a stove or open flame to burn off ‘the solvent’ while you are trying to insert toothpicks in your eyelids to keep them open. The resulting house on fire or visit to the burn ward doesn’t seem to register and users just keep at it. Now this is not a good thing. I am glad there was plenty of LSD when I grew up!

     The resulting mixture is, as Krazy Kat once said, ‘a typhoon in a teapot.’

     Since this blog neither condones nor discourages behaviour of ANY type, much less self-abuse, allow me to say that this mixture is not for the weak at heart of the even-partially sane. The damage I have seen caused by this solution has caused decent, kind, fun, intelligent high school kids to become violent to the point of killing others and many other lesser social transgressions. Yet, marijuana and cannabis products remain the ‘assassin of youth’ and command the swirling void which is sucking up BILLIONS of dollars yearly in inept enforcement of unenforcable laws. Go Robo!!!!

     Television’s Craig Ferguson, a former substance abuser who documents his experiences in a recent biography cracks me up. Not just his jokes but the fact that he claims to have abused substances for ten whole years. That is a very short period of time and is used mostly for the material of jokes. What REALLY cracks me up is how he can go to a commercial from a sanctimonious discussion of how he has cleaned up his life and the commercial turns outs to be from his sponsor, Robitussin.

     The cheeky monkey man that is beloved by some for the homespun honesty with which he deals with his addiction is paid by Robitussin via CBS. His fault? Who is going to turn down a network talk slot over a moral issue? It could ruin a career! Sorry, Craigy, but remember that I am still a fan.

     Some people think substance abuse is not funny. Maybe they are hurting because they have a child with a problem. The underlying fact is that most substance abusers make the decisions they do thanks to the way they were raised. Inattentive parents who want to blame something besides themselves for what happened in Little Johnny’s formative years can look to the human genome and see that perhaps the trait of addiction is carried through families in a commonly-shared gene. If inattentive parents believe that evolution did not occur and that we are here as the Lord made us, they have only themselves to blame. It all happens in the brain. Most behaviour is learned. Guilt trips and fingerpointing are the coward’s way out. The coward is always unable to face the inevitable fact of their own involvement in bad habits picked up by children.

     Teach your children well. For all the time I have invested in substance abuse and all the downright, all-American fun I have with it, I would never even drink a beer in front of a child. A child should not see things like that. If they want to abuse substances, let them learn from mom and dad. I take no responsibility.

     So this did turn into a bit of a sundae. Sundaes often start out with a very distinct form and end up in a puddle of chocolate jimmies and goo (no sexual connotation intended) at the bottom of the dish.

     For those who look down on my Celebration of 50 Years of Substance Abuse, I enjoy hearing from you. Your sanctimonious doggerel is welcomed! You are kind, but nay, I am lost on an evil path to a downward spiral to a hell of my own making… At least I have been trying to since 1971 but I never seem to get there. I am too busy working or writing or doing volunteer work or helping others. I thought these drugs were supposed to make me unproductive and I really could use the rest, as I hate to be so busy! WTF?

     Hell is calling but I am late. It was so nice of God to create a Hell so that the beloved creatures he made in his own image could burn forever in tortuous pain! I sure the fuck would hate to miss that since he worked so hard at it. Maybe I am missing my chance because I am high….

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