Tag Archives: reading

“…and Ten Grams of Krassner LOL, Please.”

Learned Readers,

We recently had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Paul Krassner for the next edition of Beatdom. Mr. Krassner is known and unknown for many things. He founded The Realist, co-founded the Yippies, worked closely with Lenny Bruce, gave Groucho Marx his first hit of LSD, hung with the Grateful Dead and Ken Kesey, uncovered presidential neckrophilia, tested a new batch of acid for the Mafia, played violin onstage at Carnegie Hall at age six, and  a lot of other stuff we are saving for the Summer issue of Beatdom.k1

Mr. Krassner has written fourteen books so far and is also working on a novel and one on the MK ULTRA program, which all you readers should know about by now.  While running The Realist, he also wrote/edited for such prestigious publications as MAD, Playboy, Hustler, Rolling Stone, Spin, The Nation, National Lampoon and so many other places that unless you lived under a rock for the past half a century, he got into your heads.k5

Allow us to illustrate: recently we spoke with Kitty Bruce regarding her father, Lenny. She was on crutches and said it reminded her of the time when Lenny was on crutches. He had fallen out of a window while trying LSD and shouted something both prescient and amusing as he fell. We told her what he said and she laughed at the story. We told it to her before and she asked me where we heard it. We said that we were not sure but would find out. Looking through our books on Lenny, we couldn’t find it, many books still being packed from the move west. Somehow, we were sure of the line but still questioned  the veracity.

In the meantime, we bought a copy of Confessions of a Raving, Unconfined Nut by Paul Krassner in preparation for the interview. Flipping through it…voila!…there was the story about the fall from the window. To find out, get the book. The ISBN is 9781593765033. The point here is that we carried that anecdote around for years, maybe forty-some years. How did it get into out brains in the first place? It started with him typing it and ended up with who knows how many of us retaining it. That is influence.k3

We often take off on tangents about how things should be and we think a man like Paul Krassner needs to be immortalized in some way.  Considering his achievements, as well as his personal preferences, we thought the most appropriate way to honor him is to create a new hybrid of medical marijuana/recreational marijuana in his name. It is something he enjoys. If it were not for people like him, we would not even be allowed to talk about getting it legalized. It used to be a crime to talk about it in public, as a young Allen Ginsberg (we think it was) found out.

Going around the country we saw a bunch of jam bands out there and we see a lot of young people here on the coast. One thing we saw at both places was lots of pride in the production of quality medical marijuana and its oils and elixers and tinctures. It is nice to see somebody who is proud of their work and that seems common in the pot industry.

All that said, to all you growers out there who are into producing the hybrids, please develop a hybrid for Paul. He doubts that you can do it, so please take this seriously. With the way business and competition is going here, it would put you on the map to come up with the chosen bud for KRASSNER LOL. If you do it, you will have it publicized nationally, probably by actual news stories, since he IS a public figure. What could be better for business than an exclusive product?k2

When asked what type of bud it should be, he became more specific. We will be publishing his exact words so we will not print them here…except to say, most importantly, that the strain should not be something to put you to sleep, it should make you laugh. Laughter is the most healthy thing we can do, he says, and that is his reasoning. It is scientific fact, so who can argue?

We found Laughing Buddha on one of the pot sites and that may be a step in the right direction. Look at this list below. This is what somebody put on their ad on Craigslist to get attention. There are a lot of names left out but a new name would Google up faster, we bet…a name like Krassner LOL.

Green crack, snoops cut blue dream, girl scout cookies, afoogey, green crack, permafrost, mmj, marijuana, doctors, recommendations, weed, pot, Maryjane, caregiver, medical marijuana, hash, hash oil, edibles, ISO hash oil, dispensaries, medicinal marijuana, medical marijuana doctor, medical cannabis, buy weed, legalized marijuana, legal marijuana dispensaries, medicinal dispensary, medicinal dispensaries, pot, medical marijuana, weed, 420, buds, joint, kgb, mary jane

More soon…

buy the book at www.paulkrassner.com

This is a free blog so ignore any typos which appear.



Filed under news, pleas, Uncategorized

Thank The Supreme Court And Ferd For This Post (contains explicit language)

Gentle Readers,

Given the subject matter in this blog, we tried to find a nice ‘lunatic’ image but ended up with an image of a ‘luna kit’ and since it is a cool image we may as well just go with the flow and take what our graphics department comes up with!

Why a lunatic? Ferd is quoted here, that’s why the lunatic!

Ferd does not have a computer and does not even have an email address. We told him we were writing about him several times but he has never taken the time to look at the screen to see what we say. That said, let us consider that the Suprme Court recently took all penalties off of using foul language and determined that is is perfectly legal to write, type or speak the words ‘fucking asshole‘.  We find this reassuring to know that when we are pulled over for yet another traffic violation, we are allowed to exclaim, “Thanks a lot, you fucking asshole” to the ‘officer’ who has cited us.

Thanks to our cultural heroes, it is now legal to curse in public and it is with the blessings of the High Court that we relate the following:

One recent hot, sunny Summer day, we found ourselves at the door of Ferd’s domain. Outside and sitting in the sun with no water and not enough leash to reach the shade was his cat, Willie. After pounding on the door, waking and berating him, he unhooked Willie and took her inside (“her” because Willie is short for Wilhelmina). Willie flopped on the floor, exhausted. We questioned Ferd on the lack of water for Willie, at which point he filled a bowl and Willie immediately started to lap it up. Feeling sorry for poor Willie, Your Humble Narrator looked at Ferd and called him a fucking asshole.

Many people would take humbrage or offense to such a remark but Ferd took it in stride. In fact, he complimented me on it. He recounted a day, some 40 years earlier, when Your Narrator was with a group of school friends and Ferd. Pot was pretty unavailable and five of us stood in a circle while the bowl was filled with our last remaining stash. Putting a light to the bowl, we took the first toke and passed it to Ferd, who immediately dropped it on the ground, where the remains could not be recovered.  Everybody cursed him, even himself. This incident had long been forgotten, albiet in the the mind of Ferd. He recounted the occasion and how we had called him a fucking asshole forty years earlier.

“You know,” said Ferd, seemingly amused at being insulted, “Do you remember that time I dropped the bowl?”

“No,” we countered, “and what does that have to do with anything and why can’t you take care of your cat?”

Blowing off the bit about the cat, he related the story of the dropped bowl. “You sound exactly the same calling me a fucking asshole today, as you did when you called me a fucking asshole forty years ago. I can close my eyes and it is like going back in time.”

Great, we thought, a fucking asshole in a timeless warp…or ‘Ferd…An Asshole Through the Ages’…

We thought this was humorous enough but, more recently, we were moved to refer to Ferd as ‘an imbecile’ and he objected strongly to the remark. He had his reasons. He said that being an imbecile was a part of normal human development and that he had passed that stage.  As he put it, “You are born, and from the time you ‘come out of the shute’ you are an imbecile. Then, later you develop into an idiot, until you become a moron. These are the stages of a child’s brain development. I read it in a book!”

We are not sure what book Ferd had his nose in that time – or what he had his nose in before he looked at the book – but  we actually searched the internet to see how he could have come up with such a classic way of distinguishing between inbecility and idiocy. Being a master of both, we almost hoped to find something to support his jive but could not find a single thing to back him up.

He must be a moron. 


Leave a comment

Filed under essays, Uncategorized

Beatdom Books, Exclusive Pics, Edgar Allen Poe and Other Things

     Readers, Tweeters and Brain-Feeders,

     At left you see an exclusive photo of Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs.  It was taken by affable filmmaker Jerry Aronson, who brought us the wonderful movie, The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg.  Jerry, in his kindness, allowed us to use five rare photos (four previously unseen in print) to illustrate the review of his DVD re-release of the work, which include an extra DVD with tons of great material – a review of which will be found in Beatdom Issue Nine, The Drugs Issue.  Look for Issue Nine and the review next month.  Also see www.allenginsbergmovie.com

     If you have been on the Beatdom website, you will know that we are celebrating the Fourth Anniversary of Beatdom, the world’s most popular Beat-themed literary journal.  We are also celebrating the birth of Beatdom Books,  a new publishing concern which will be publishing books by literary gadflies Spencer Kansa and David S. Wills, who will both publish novels on Beatdom Books this year.

     Kansa’s offering,  Zoning, will be a welcome addition to the book collections of fans of William S. Burroughs.  Burroughs, in fact, praised the work by Kansa and even provided him with a photo for the cover, which we will be using.  Kansa’s voice, though new and original, channels some of the old, guttural Burroughs panache in it’s own way.

     When we say “we” in this case, we are not referring to the ‘editorial we’ (as used in The Big Lebowski) but the “we” as in David S. Wills and myself, Your Humble Narrator. 

     Mr. Wills has spent three years in Asia, literally sweating over his long-awaited ‘asian rum diary,’ The Dog Farm, which is sure to win him a whole new cadre of Korean critics.  Mr. Wills and myself will be partners in Beatdom Books.  Having spent a drunken fortnight in discussion of all things written and worldly with Mr. Wills last August, we found him to be a most agreeable and far-sighted man, and we are happy to form this new company with him.  He even gave me a hot tip on an asian casino stock which has taken care of my real estate taxes for this year and the next.  That is a good partner.  Cheers, David!

     Now we get to the ironic part.  In digging around the grey matter, looking for a snappy title for this blog, we hit upon the word ‘beat’ and thought we would use a line from Edgar Alllen Poe’s great story of terror, The Telltale Heart.  From the bookcase, we plucked a copy of The Assignation and Other Tales by Poe.  The book is a Claxton Edition,  printed (perhaps) in the 1800s by Belford, Clarke & Company.  There is no year of publication in the book anywhere.  Belford, Clarke was a Chicago-based company but a tiny note in print says the volume was printed by Trow’s Printing and Bookbinding Company of New York.  It may be valuable – perhaps for it’s place in print history.  Though not having exhausted the internet with a search as yet, this brings back memories of last Spring, when we tried to find the value of a couple copies of The Outsider, a hand-printed literary journal published in New Orleans in the early 1960s.

     Google led me to an article on a film, The Outsiders of New Orleans: The Loujon Press, made by Wayne Ewing in 2007.  The article led us to write an email to the author, who happened to be David S. Wills.  While the value of The Outsider (Issues 2 and 3), has yet to be determined, the idea was to sell them and clear some shelf space.  As it happened,  we were invited to write an essay for Beatdom and have been a regular there ever since,  becoming Assistant Editor while working on Issue Eight – The Sex Issue.  When the book collection started, we never considered what trouble it would be to get it out of the house.  Now it is growing organically, with books holding our own work taking up even more space!

     Irony is the way of the world and it always is amazing to see how one thing can lead to another.  A year ago, serious writing was a thing of the past.  Within the last year, we have published in three issues of Beatdom, wrote requested material for a live, naked performance celebrating women Beats, Lit Undressed, held in Omaha, NE, and have embarked upon a new endeavor in the world of publishing.  This being our 54th year on this sphere, we are happy with ourselves and with you,  Kind Readers, for your continued support!


Filed under poetry