Michael Hendrick Looks At Nipples

Curious Readers,

The title of this post may not come as a surprise to some, yet even Michael Hendrick admits that there are some nipples he does not want to see. Like Chris Christie’s…in the attached photo we see the big lug (Christie, not Hendrick) looking down to see if his nipples have stiffened from the touch of Mitt Romney. Christie will never be a US president unless an assassination occurs when he is a veep.

For many years, whoever was president on the twentieth year died in office. It started in 1820 when Henry Harrison stole more land from the native americans. He defeated Tecumseh at Tippecanoe and made a slogan of the event to run for president…and won. Tecumseh’s half-brother and medicine man, Tenskwatawa, threw a curse at all ‘great chiefs’ of the US, who were chosen every twenty years. Their deaths would be a reminder of what the US did to the Shawnee.

Christie is smart to (try and) run now. No prez had died since G.W. Bush’s buddy’s son screwed up his attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan. It goes largely unreported that John Hinckley Jr. had a scheduled lunch with Neil Bush, son of you know who, the day after the shooting. He did not make it.

It is well-known that the Hinckleys and Bushes have not only been in business together since the early 1960s but that the Bush family and the Hinckleys share a common ancestor – an oilman no less, Samuel Hinckley. Of course, after all that trouble Dubbya Bush, the last president before Obama, managed to kill any respect people had for him – but he lives.

But what about the nipples?

We promised you nipples, you are thinking…

It all started when Hendrick set to work merchandising the books he likes to sell. One of them is this one from 1974. 

Just about to hang it on the wall of a local merchant who kindly gave him space to sell, he thought he should ask the owner if it was alright to post partial nudity. The store owner is a woman and when describing the cover, he got to the part about the cartoon images covering the nipples. He started to describe the cover but ended up pointing vaguely towards his own chest and saying ‘private parts’.

Damn it – he was embarrassed!

But why?

It does give us pause to ponder, however, why male nipples are legal to show anyplace in public but showing female nipples can result in a fine, sometimes even for breastfeeding in the wrong spot. It has happened.

Back in the 1970s at the start of the punk rock movement, singer-songwriter Shane MacGowan, seen below,  ran into problems with his first musical group…The Nipple Erectors. The record company would not accept his ‘male/female both have them’ logic and so he changed the name of his group to The Nips. Later he formed The Pogues, based on the term Pogue Mahone, which was a derivation of the gaelic phrase meaning ‘kiss my ass’. In this world kissing ass is preferred to mentioning nipples – for some people, anyway.

Even male cats have eight nipples…or six…it is hard to hold the rascal steady enough to count them. Male cats allow tiny kittens to pretend they are nursing on them. They do this when the momma cat is out hunting and it keeps the little ones secure. We wonder if Chris Christie ever tried that but we do not want that image floating around our cerebral cortex…or yours! Sorry for that – blame it on Hendrick.

There are many types of nipples and even more ways to look at them. Instead of listing them all, we turn to Hendrick.

At fifty-seven years of age, he has seen more nipples than the average man (in person, that is). He chose to relate a bit about ‘funny nipples’. Some people, who have little sexual experience, find them funny just as diners who have never eaten a falafel think that sounds funny.

In his now-out-of-print novel (Portrait Of The Artist As A Little Bastard, TumbleWeedBastard Press, 2014) he tells of going to grade school in Upstate New York’s Mohawk Valley.

Sitting next to him, at the back of the classroom in the ‘tall’ section, RandyNiples always flinched at the muffled laugh which arose whenever a nun called his name. He could not do much about it in class but he frequently ran in circles on the recess yard shouting, “It’s Nip-PELS!!!…I tell ya!!!…Nip-PELS!!!”

Our Dear Michael occasionally wonders what happened to Randy. The way he ran in circles would have made him true presidential material!

On Occupiers, Marijuana Activists and Voting

Gentle Readers,
We offer our apologia for sticking the ugly mug right at the beginning of this blog but we hope to shake some sense into a couple people, maybe.

We don’t know where the Occupiers are right now but bet they will be back when the presidential elections come into view. That is their first mistake. Why are they waiting to make a statement? Who is their leader? We welcome the answers to any of these questions, seriously.
We should be hearing from them all the time, if they have a real message, right?
Last time around, NYC police allowed them to stay in the parks until after elections and then started macing and beating them. Yesterday, a few people held a silent smoke-in protest at the town hall in Sussex, NJ. New Jersey passed medical marijuana legislation when Governor Jon Corzine signed the bill to make it legal the day before Gov. Chris (Cartman) Christie, took the office. On signing the measure Corzine noted, “I have enormous gratitude to the people of New Jersey for this decade of opportunity to serve.” He left the state with a gift, something the people want, the Compassionate Use of Medical Marijuana Act.
In the Garden State, sixty percent of residents polled recently said they would not mind if a neighbor grew marijuana. The survey, conducted by Quinnipiac University, showed that forty-eight percent of registered voters backed the idea of recreational marijuana use and an equal forty-eight percent would vote against it.
The problem with NJ folks is the same as the problem the Occupiers have. It could be fixed, easily. Put on your thinking caps. In NJ, voters under thirty years old make up only ten percent of those registered. And consider this…nationally, between 1996 and 2012 the non-Hispanic White share of the voting population decreased by over eleven percentage points. This information comes from the US Census. Who do we usually see at protests against the ‘system,’ as it is vaguely referred to? Well, let’s see what kind of people are in this photo…

What we are taking from all this is that young people need to REGISTER TO VOTE. All people need to, if you are allowed. Just take NJ as an example, a petrie dish, if you will for this little example. With half the voters against marijuana and half for it, all it would take to make it legal would be for all of the people who want it to go and register to vote.
Dig?
Once you do that, do not wait until the big election in two years. Start sending your message as soon as possible. Start small with local elections. If somebody is campaigning in NJ for the position of County Dogcatcher and Christie supports him, vote for the other candidate. DO NOT VOTE FOR ANYONE. USE YOUR VOTE TO VOTE AGAINST THE BAD GUYS. When Christie’s choice for Dogcatcher loses, it sends a message. It goes up the line. We would suggest voting out all incumbents to neutralize the Lobbyists who really run the country, too.
For all the tricks, all the games, all the brainwashing and mind-control that goes on, one thing that cannot be fought is the power of the mass vote. We are trained to think we do not count. What can one vote mean? Especially the vote of somebody who has been beaten down…What good can one vote do? That is exactly why power brokers like Christie have citizens by the balls. We are so used to being told that we do not count, that we do not even bother. That is how the bad guys win.
Bad guys? While half the people approve of MMJ in NJ, here is what ‘The Girth With No Mirth’ had to say, “To me, it’s just not the quality of life we want to have here in the state of New Jersey and there’s no tax revenue that’s worth that.”
We like NJ but go tell the people in Bayonne and Fort Lee about quality of life. It is not so pretty there. Where is the quality of life for the people in NJ prisons for possessing marijuana for medical use? Where did Christie hide his last package of Hostess Ding-Dongs?
Who knows? These rhetorical questions can hang there forever unless somebody takes action.
Please go register to vote and keep up with any and all local elections…for you own good and for the good of us all!

This is a free blog so typos are to be expected!

So Where Do People Actually Read This Crap??????

Gentle Readers,

We certainly appreciate your patronage!
We find it gratifying to reach so many places around the world. If you wonder where people read this drivel, er, wonderful blog, then here is a list of countries that your fellow readers have checked in from.
No matter where they are in the world, they are still stuck on one tiny screen…are we all? We shouldn’t even question it, since it brings us traffic…ha…but it is the magnificently humble nature of us to be amazed that you all took the time to look…
and Thanks!
In order of readership, here where others are suffering through this along with you!

United States
United Kingdom
Canada
Australia
Germany
France
India
Brazil
Netherlands
Singapore
Ireland
New Zealand
Italy
Pakistan
Taiwan
Philippines
Norway
Japan
Switzerland
Sweden
Belgium
Cambodia
Spain
Denmark
Hong Kong
Thailand
Mexico
Portugal
Iraq
Turkey
Hungary
Poland
Republic of Korea
Bahrain
Jordan
Yemen
Indonesia
Croatia
Romania
Puerto Rico
Bulgaria
Bangladesh
Czech Republic
Ecuador
Egypt
Finland
United Arab Emirates
Chile
Israel
Viet Nam
New Caledonia
Lebanon
Venezuela
Russian Federation
Slovenia
Myanmar
Estonia
Jersey
Argentina
Ghana
Namibia
Saudi Arabia
Austria
South Africa
Uruguay
Afghanistan

On Vocabulary: The Most Profane, Dirtiest Word (contains a bad word it is legal to say)

Literate Readers and Cunning Linguists,

Having just overheard a version of the evening news we report about the lack of change in Congress as regards all thing screwed up in this country (USA). That’s what they said on TV so it has to be true, unless the internet says it is not. A lot of people have been coming to read the blog on “What Would Allen Ginsberg Do…” so we suppose they may be gearing up.
We thank the anonymous but googlable Ms. Buckly of the Parkridge, NJ, school district for raising the question by instructing people to read about Ginsberg and Occupiers. We welcome the opinions of all readers. Even Chris Christie.

It is enough to make a person say fuck!!!
The F-word used to be considered the second most foul word in our insult slang and that of other nations. However, this view is skewed. We see the word fuck all over the place. It is on walls. It is in books. It is in the movies and sometimes slips onto network television. This being no outlaw word, we have adopted it as a national treasure.

LOBBYIST, on the other hand, fails to appear scrawled in paint under bridges and on railroad cars, carved into K-12 school desks when they were made of wood or on daring tattoos.
Lobbyist is fuck times ten. It requires a lobbyist to truly fuck us all. They pay our elected officials on both sides of the aisles…the cash concerns do not have party lines. Money crosses every line. Money redraws lines (see US Constitution).

Oddly, but concidence is oft the case in these things, the word ‘lobbyist’ has the same amount of letters as the word ‘occupier’. Not getting many dispatches from Occupiers lately, but admittedly ignoring mainstream news, we reckon they recline and plot while waiting for the next Presidential election. They regard linguistics lightly, obviously, since they do not see the difference between ‘fuck’ and ‘lobbyist.’
Maybe they do – but if so, they stand guilty for not encouraging their mates to REGISTER TO VOTE AND VOTE OUT EVERY INCUMBENT CANDIDATE ON THE TICKET EVERY TIME.
DO NOT VOTE ‘FOR’…VOTE ‘AGAINST’…THIS IS WAR!
It may not seem like a big thing. Votes have been rigged like the Bush family did in Florida. It is easy to rig a vote in a state where many residents are retirees, minorities and indigents. It is a whole different thing to have a groundswell of votes come in where even missing chats are not enough to argue over.
USE YOUR VOTE ALREADY!!!
The vote is the big lie. Nobody profiting from it wants their constituents to know how much they stole from them over the years. Some old members of Congress need to be wheelchaired in and shaken awake to vote. The dubious question of whether they even know which Bill the are voting on scares us.
This way the lobbyists lose the longtime good old boy connections which are treasonous, really. We pay taxes which pay elected officials in Congress and the House of Representatives. They pledge to serve us. Then they pocket a wad from an old pal and sell us down the river to buy a new boat for themselves.

We do not mean to disparage the Occupiers. We may have in the past but in recently speaking with activists like Paul Krassner and the late Amiri Baraka, both of whom said the group had good intentions if nothing else, we reformed but still wish for an organized front that will properly plan and target the bad guys in the only way that cannot be disputed en masse.

Go for it!!!
Please!!!!!

This is a free blog and if you find typos, you get a prize.