Do Police Get Tested For Drugs and Steroids????

         Gentle Readers,

Forgive the fomatting, as the PC is still vexing us.  Speaking of vexations, many are disturbed by the presence of man-made monsters, one of the most famous of which is Frankenstein’s Monster.  Some people refer to the monster simply as ‘Frankenstein’.  There are a lot of these Franskenteins in the world, the most famous being the United States Government.  We create and enable them and then they rattle the chains, break loose from the stone walls of the government buildings and come create nightmares in our lives.

At one end of the scale we have Bacarat Obama, Disaster in Chief of These United States and on the lower, lower, lowest end of the scale are those we pay to protect ourselves and our property…the police.  Currently, the Obama administration is using these police as a tool of terror and fear as it employs them into the Neverending War we are involved in.  It used to be nice when wars ended. 

It also used to be nice when a police officer was a sign of safety, not a call for fear.  On Youtube, for instance, you have numerous instances of police beating innocent motorists because the civilians have the temerity to film the jackboot thugs in action.  These days, if you buy a gun or a camera, you need to buy both, not one or the other.  If you buy a gun, you need a camera to show the unjust way the police treat you when they try to take it away from you.  If you buy a camera, you need a gun to protect yourself from being beaten by officers wearing uniforms that you paid for.

We pay a lot in taxes, to the fed, to the stores but most disturbingly, to our local governments.  In our instance, we must pay several thousand to the school district, even though we have never spawned a child.  Why do we have to pay for the education of a bunch of little wankers when we had the good sense to ‘keep it in our pants’?  We pay for our trash to be collected and we just has an increase in our water and sewer bills.  So if you pay for the water, the schools, the trash and sewer – why do you have to fork over even more cash to have the township collect all the other checks we send?  We have to pay the police, of course.

Did you ever get pulled over for speeding or some other minor infraction of traffic codes and have some beast with ‘roid rage bark at you through the window, while flexing biceps which are unusually bulging with veins, like those veins in his neck as he screams at you for asking a question.  If you are like us, and have long hair and look like a liberal, it is even worse.

If noise comes from our yard, we are confronted by one of these monsters.  It has not happened for a long time.  If noise comes from another yard and we call the police, the chief tells us that they do not have equipment to measure decibels and so the ordinance is unenforcable.  So we are paying to have laws unenforced.  A judge told us to sue the township but the fear of harrassment stops us.  If a neighbor is persistent in destroying a section of our property and the cops are called in, the focus is not on the neighbor who is trying to build on my property…we get grief because the officer sees long hair and for some reason ‘roid ragers hate that.  Maybe because a lot of them go bald from using the stuff.

This is a bigger issue than our yard and long hair, however.  The drug war, which is the biggest waste of money ever to face a country which cannot balance a budget and even threatens to take Social Sevurity away from senior citizens. allow police to search homes, yards, automobiles, test your breath and your blood.  In all our years of paying taxes, we have never seen a breakdown which shows payments for drug tests on policia.  A lot of them are known to confiscate drugs and keep them for personal use and it is obvious that many of them use steroids in order to be bigger and stronger than the bad guys…they do not realise that the rage induced by the steroids makes them criminal in the cranium.

Office workers, Walmart workers, garbage truck workers, forklift operators…all of these people are subject to random drug testing…what about the police? The dangerous ones with the guns, pepper spray and lots of buddies to help beat on you.  If you pay a tax, you should demand that police be tested for drugs and, specifically, steroids.  Why would anybody be afraid to do this unless they were terrified of the thugs?

We know that not all police are bad.  Our own grandfather was a typical drunken, irish paddy precinct copper.  He used to beat his wife and kids and they did not even have steroids back then.  The thing is…just pay attention the next time you get pulled over or see somebody else in that unfortunate position.  See if the cop is red in the face.  See if the veins in his neck look ready to pop.  See if you can make him chase you by taking his photo.

They had cops like this in Nazi Germany and also in Russia, back when it was the Soviet Union.  Then, America was too good to allow such shit.  Not anymore.  This weekend, when you are on your way to a fun event and notice the ton of cops on the highway, earning overtime while getting high on confiscated pot, think about the fairness of them NOT being tested regularly.

The Approaching Evil of Corey Booker

Concerned Citizens,

This is a short one but we did want you to skip back here a few blogs and remember the warning we gave about flagrant fatso Gov. Chris Cartman Christie putting former Newark Mayor Corey Booker in a NJ senator slot after the death of another old cheat. Just skip back about five or six posts and look for the fat guy.

We could not help but notice the cutesy-ootsey bald head getting off a plane with our Manchurian President, Baccarat Obama, a week ago or so.

Do remember that the basic cause for all this concern is what the late but great Amiri Baraka told us about Booker wanting to sell Newark’s water and water rights to a corporate entity and other devious reason Booker is not a good man.
We wondered why he was on the plane with the Chief but we did a quick search to see the once close friends have had a rift between them. In fact, one thing we found was a Huffington Post report noting that Booker spelled Obama’s name wrong on a list of NJ delegates. The two are at odds but how did the city mayor get to be at odds with the Prez so fast?

Why?
Do you wonder why?
Why?

Just remember that we warned you first when looking for guidance in the future…

this is a free blog and, as such, may contain typos….

Amiri Baraka, Chris Christie and the Rape of New Jersey

Humble Readers,
When Amiri Baraka passed away on January 9 of this year, we lost a great american.
During his life, Baraka said a number of foolish and incendiary things. He called all white men ‘fags’ and called for the rape of all white women by black men – talking about going for a reaction! As he got older, his racist rants lightened up.
We spoke to him in the year before his death and race division was not the answer to our problems, as he saw it. We are past that and the only way we can save this country is for all people to unite. In fact, the only way we got to interview him was to tell him that his message did not get to enough white people and that most readers of the publication we wanted to interview him for were white. When we first asked for an interview, we were met with laughter but once we explained why we wanted to interview him for Beatdom, he relented.
The movements by the lower and middle class groups cannot be exclusive to race or party. The only way to beat the commercial-industrial-military complex that has most people beaten down is to unite, not to fight each other. Instead of attacking another race, why not join together and go after the rich bastards who you think have all your money? Even Baraka admitted that the election of Obama served to widen the gap between races, which had been a huge focus of civil rights groups. The issue of Civil Rights keeps slipping into the news. Before he died, Mr. Baraka pointed to the Trayvon Martin case, which exploded shortly thereafter. He also called out the Tea Party, a huge racist group.
Another prescient bit that AB (as his staff called him) told us involved a certain Mayor of Newark. This guy got elected by the people of Newark and robbed them for decades by signing a deal with Prudential Insurance to allow them tax-free access to do business in Newark. Corey Booker, the conman in question, has deprived the citizens of Newark countless dollars. One Prudential building is worth ‘about 300 million dollars a year in taxes’ according to the late poet. That is 300 million a year since 1970.
Besides allowing Prudential to usurp city services and plaster its name over all the buildings and landmarks it can defile, Booker (at that time) was trying to sell the water rights belonging to the city, as well as 200 acres of land where water springs from. This does not seem in the best interest of the people of New Jersey.
NO interest in the people of New Jersey???? How can we even use the phrase without mentioning, our Hero Sandwich, Chris Christie?
When the sitting Senator of New Jersey died last year, Governor Christie rewarded Booker for his mis-deeds (and likely payoffs pushed up the ladder) from the Newark scams. Booker has a pretty face and shiny bald head. He is black.
Black or white, he obviously is consumed by greed from the inside out so color doesn’t matter. What matters is – where he is going from Senator? If Christie eats himself through the press and doesn’t get to the 2016 primaries, Booker could carry out his agenda and be counted on to keep kicking the graft up the ladder to the big guy. Another good, thing…he is even whiter than Obama…look!
Is he our future? Is Christie our future? Do we want a future?

This is a free blog so do not pay attention to the typos, if you find any.

The Bob Dylan Challenge (or The Search for Fat Joke Number Three)

Gentle Readers,
All the bluster about (and coming from) NJ Governor Chris Christie may seem like bad news for the nation but it is a gift for comedians, many of whom had cut the use of fat jokes, leaving them to rest on a shelf in retirement until the big goon pissed them off.
Even Christie makes jokes about weight, ignoring the diabetes epidemic that is slowly overtaking the USA, as it overtook India when citizens there could afford to eat the same foods as us and we were kind enough to send our fast food restaurants to grace their soil.
In the old days, being fat showed wealth, prosperity. The larger a man became, the more success evidenced itself in blubber.
We prefer not to blubber but to reckon things out.
When in a thinking mood, we often slip on some music by Bob Dylan and let our minds wander to it. Even Dylan says he cannot put a meaning to any of his songs but they have an individual meaning to all of us. One song which makes the mind wander a mite more than others is Visions of Johanna, which we always want to see him perform in concert and somehow always manage to buy tickets for the night he plays Desolation Row in the same slot of his setlist.
In the masterful working of VOJ, we are presented by many characters, like the Nightwatchmen, Mona Lisa, Johanna, Louise and her Lover, a Madonna, the Peddler, the Countess…but then a lot of attention is paid to the fat ladies. He told us he was a ‘song and dance man’ and a lot of people took it as a joke but the fat joke is stock-in-trade for the song and dance man. So, in the landscape of the miracle of beauty that is the song VOJ, the artist ties it up at the end with a joke and sort of blames it on the ‘fishtruck of his mind’ unloading. Nonetheless, we yank ourselves from the mystical, ethereal quality of the song when we hear about the delicate wallflower, who will freeze
“…when the jelly-faced women all sneeze.
Hear the one with the moustache say,
Jeeze, I can’t find my knees.”
When we manage to catch this song live, that line cracks us up everytime.
We usually do not think much past that but recently we needed some upbeat music to ease the drive over the icy ridges into town, so we put on Bringing It All Back Home. This was his fifth LP and the one where he quit leaving the ‘G’ off of words ending in ‘ING.’…hhmmm, was that a ‘sell-out’? You’d have to ask a fan who can explain his songs.
In Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream, again, we hear him use a rhyme which demeans the unproportionate, too…he gets lost upon disembarking from a ship. He meets a variety of characters and, again, near the end mentions that the last he heard of the missing captain,
“He was stuck on a whale
That was married to the
Deputy Sheriff of the jail…”
In later years, we heard about The Clean Cut Kid. He is well-fed and eats at Burger King. That would certainly lead to fat but the implication is not made. It is the closest Dylan came to addressing the war in VietNam in an outright fashion, however, even though his songs were used as anthems when people were trying to stop such injustices here.

In the second movie he penned, Masked and Anonymous, there is a scene (near the end, of course) where he is confronted by Jessica Lange, playing a demented, evil woman. She tries to wound him with words but he replies, “You heard about cellulose? Cows can digest it but you can’t.” It can also be digested by a moose. Either way, insult or not, it brings to mind the ass-lumping scourge of cellulite and, actually, sometimes an insult that is not understood gets you a lot more mileage…

Anyway, back to the challenge…the man has recorded a commercial disc for each year of his life and we think he reaches seventy-three years of age this May. Did he give up the fat jokes after LP number seven? Was he forced to drop them when he had to add the ‘G’s?

WE don’t know! We are not experts. We do not even think the people who take the class at Columbia Unversity in Dylanology (or is that at NYU?…some NY College) have any idea, either, since the artist himself refuses to explain. However, with all the wondering, the pondering, the supposing, the guessing, the plotting-it-all out, we hope that some Dylan scholar will step forth with the necessary information. A few years back, we saw the Dylan/Paul Simon tour, which Dylan highlighted every evening by telling a stupid joke. Perhaps Number Three lies in there…but we would like to know if it exists in song?

Anybody?

This is a free blog so if you see any typos, live with it.

We Picked the Wrong Week to Not Blog

Gentle Readers,

It has been a pretty eventful week for us here at CFYSA. We finally crossed the Cascades and got to the other side of the great State of Washington. This is the Washington people warned us about…the part with the trees and the rain. Except it has not rained. It is simply gorgeous here in the far NW and we find ourselves very fortunate to be visiting fine friends here.
The topography of this state is so rich and varied. So far we have slept in the scablands, the desert, the high mountains, along the mighty Columbia River, in the flaxen fields below Spokane and it seems like the best has been saved for last. We got here a few days ago but the ride was one of those all-nighters which leave you slumped for two days after…at least at my age. We still have not seen the ocean or stepped on a volcano but those are next…
The old HellRaiser is still waiting for us in the garage but is all ready to camp up and down the Pacific Coast Highway in just a couple short months.
Meanwhile, we have some missed news and updates.

First of all, you may be pleased to hear that several expert horticulturalists are taking up the challenge to produce a nice strain of medical marijuana to honor Paul Krassner, who has enriched our lives in ways you do not exactly understand but take our word for it…face it, the guy was not only editor of MAD, he also edited Playboy, Hustler, and numerous other NON-counterculture magazines, aside from starting The Realist. In fact, now that we think about it, all those rejection slips we got from those same magazines when we submitted copy could have been sent by him. We could post his photo but here is one of his books, instead.
We do have a few interviews to be published with Mr. Krassner in upcoming months, one in Beatdom and the other in Seattle’s Culture Magazine’s March issue. They are on different subjects and the Beatdom will not be available until May, so save up and get a copy then. In the meantime buy the March Culture. We did a story on ‘Lenny Bruce VS Racism,’ featuring Mr. Krassner and that appeared for sale in just the past two weeks. He just makes a comment on Bruce but we have some other good stuff in there as well!It has Mr. Krassner describing what type of bud he would most like to have named after himself…and that is all we can say.

It is hard to think of Krassner without thinking of comedy. It is hard to think of comedy with thinking of a few fat jokes and it is hard to walk around with fat jokes on hand and not use them in the ‘wake’ of Chris Christie’s adventures. We noticed that he has several cartoon strips dedicated to what him and one about what his presidency will be like. We do not have suitable fat jokes to lay on you at this time but we have sprinkled this blog with plenty of pics of the big guy. (mean-looking, huh?)
Now Christie is in trouble over trying to defeat politic enemies by stopping traffic. He could have done it by laying across three lanes of that bridge himself but he decided to have minions handle it for him. They are not nearly as sneaky and were caught in the act. Last year we interviewed the great poet, Amiri Baraka – who died recently. He lived in Newark, NJ, and told us of the Mayor there being so crooked that he was making money for an insurance company while being paid by the people of NJ…Cory Booker. Baraka felt Booker to be a wrong man and we would have to agree…funny thing is, after we spoke withy Mr. Baraka, a New Jersey Senator died and the empty seat was filled by the dastardly Cory Booker. Who made the decision? Why Chris Christie, of course!

They both want to be president. We are not showing Booker’s photo here because you will be seeing enough of his face when they try to run him for president…that is if Obama has not ruined the possibility of a black man taking the position again in the next few years. His antics have caused a lot of racial division and we thought the idea of a black president was to even things out.
Who knows? Unfortunately, this guy does…
Baraka was already on ‘the list’ for writing the truth about the 911 bombings . The Governor of New Jersey stripped of his title of Poet Laureate because he told the truth. He does not even belong in a silly blog like this but he did warn us about Booker…watch him!!!

(REMEMBER – THIS IS A FREE BLOG SO DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THE TYPOS IF YOU FIND ANY!)

The Mammoth and the Monarch

Concerned Readers,

 

Today, on National Public Radio, we listened to a report about the disappearance of the Monarch Bufferfly (Danaus plexippus) and that the mostly likely cause for the recent disappearance resulted from people collecting them. Human beans simply can’t leave things alone. Butterflies have borne the brunt of our ignorance for centuries…usually compromised, captured and pinned under glass. In fact, we even strip away layers of rain forest and expose even more collectible specie regularly because we love them so much!

So what’s the big deal? Why fret for a bug?

Aside from the ecological implications, which we generally ignore anyway, a mystery remains unsolved. Our kneejerk reaction, as usual, is to blame big business and the government. The CIA revered the Monarch so much that they made the colorful creature a mascot for demented mind control programs. We don’t know if it was them that took the butterflies but conspiracy theorists in the audience may jump on this. After all, you can watch President Clinton apologize to the country for the debacle with your own eyes, right there on Youtube.

Also on Youtube, you can find former CIA Director and Hangman-In-Chief William Colby admitting to it angrily by saying, “We stopped that between the late 1960s and the early 1970s.”

Jeepers!

If you trained a child in the 1970s it would seem that they may be a fully capable adult this year. Feasibly, they could still be ‘active’. This could solve the puzzling behavior of President Baccarat Obama. He would be just the right age. His background is sketchy, to say the least. His dazed demeanor and contrarian actions indicate some sort of cerebral wackiness going on.

Why train a patsy to be a Manchurian Candidate (see book by Richard Condon), when you could have a Manchurian President, one who takes the country down from the inside-out…as appears to be the case…and make patsies out of the entire USA?

Yesterday, he said that he never met anyone who would prefer an unemployment check to a job. He didn’t even say ‘meaningful job.’ We have shoveled pig feces, sprayed Agent Orange, carried asbestos and performed a number of other ‘jobs’ and we beg to differ. We can tell he never had a job or waited, shivering daily, for the weather to become too cold for the job and it became time to go on unemployment for the winter. Those were the days!!! Here is Mengele, the Angel of Death, called Dr. Green by the CIA when they snuck him into the USA…now he liked his work…then he came here and got a job doing it. He taught the CIA his techniques for mind control and brainwashing and practiced them with free reign here after WWII. They told the press that they found his skull in South America.

A job is where we bust our asses and fritter away a lifetime to make money for a smarter person. Work, however, offers us a chance to do what we like, what we do well and allows us to express ourselves through a disciplined action which may benefit others, or not. Obama doesn’t know shit about jobs.

But we digress…back to the bugs…

Before leaving the east, we volunteered at the world-renowned raptor center, Hawk Mountain Sanctuary in Kempton, PA, for fourteen years since 1999. We counted Monarchs annually to keep track. In fact, Rachel Carson counted them on Hawk Mountain while gathering material for her groundbreaking book Silent Spring.

In 2012, we counted 2,806 of the butterflies during the migration period. That number actually climbed about a thousand butterflies from the average count of 1,804 of them per year. They were probably avoiding the dust in the west.

This year, however, the count was called off for the first time due to a lack of Monarchs.

How strange. Whatever could be the reason?

Our reckoning leads us to conclude that the poor things are being collected for the President…not Obama, the NEXT President, NJ’s Behemoth of a governor, Chris Christie. Face it, they are all the same President hired by the same people you will never see. Isn’t it funny that Bill Clinton and George W. Bush both bought their cocaine from the same dealer? Some things trump party lines. Some people know who will win sporting events ahead of time. It is all the same. Remember that state lottery back in Pennsylvania when word got out that ‘666’ would be the winning number so everybody bought it and won? It nearly broke the state, except that that did not pay out to the winners. Imagine some poor schlub playing 666 all his life, every day, and then it comes up and he is conned out of it.

That’s why we don’t gamble.

With Hawk Mountain less than fifty miles from the New Jersey border, a waft of wind could have pushed the wingie wonders across the border. To Christie, a Gargantua of Rabelaisian proportions, NJ is now the Vegetable Garden State and all produced there is for him to consume. With puffy bratwurst fingers clenching a big spoon, this guy would see a big bowl of butterflies as akin to cornflakes. What could help him more on his new diet (?…at what point does one look in the mirror and say, I am 200 pounds too fat? It makes you wonder at what point he will look at the world and see what is wrong). While we could not find nutritional information on them, we can imagine him stuffing them down his gullet with a bit of lacey orange and black flapping occurring at the corners of his mouth before he sucks them in and chews, er, consumes.

If he crushed a few thousand, they may make nice material for a colorful necktie. He will need the help when he runs against Hillary Clinton. They are both on the same team, of course, but Christie is looking strong. Obama could have helped set that up, too. When this prejudiced country elected the first black man as leader, we turned a big corner. The fact that this black man, in particular, screwed us out of house, home and even used auto parts, could make it hard for a ‘minority’ candidate to win this time. Women are still considered a minority in this country by some odd quirk of reasoning. The government calls them a minority so that would lead us to believe they are not being considered equal to men of the same race as themselves. (Actually, on checking, the 2000 and 2010 census figures show women at 50.9 and 50.8 per cent of the population, respectively.)

Who knows? It gets harder to reckon out every year.

One thing we do know, though, is that this blog made no real sense in a linear way but we did manage to bring you a little bit of new information to, hopefully, bugger your curiosity and make you go look for yourselves, as we are sure you will!!!

Now, go do like this poor CIA victim and take a rest. We all need one.

Speaking of Stupid Bastards

     Gentle Readers,

     We share with you an email we received from the address of your disaster-in-chief,  Bacarat Obama.  It was obviously sent by a minion while the president went through a book of hymns, looking for songs with the word ‘Hosanna’ in them and replacing it with ‘Obama,’ singing softly under his breath…

    This email arrived in response to some off the cuff insults we threw in his direction during the recent town hall meeting on Facebook, where he deftly dodged most questions posed to him and concentrated on getting himself re-elected.  This has nothing to do with Gov. Cartman but we show his photo because we like stupid bastards.

So here is my message from your president. Just remember, we already told him that he sucks:

Michael — If it were easy to do the big, meaningful things we believe will make our country better — if it were quick — someone would have done those things long before any of us showed up. We’ve chosen to do something hard. You know that our victories so far have been hard won: taking the difficult steps necessary to put our economy back on track, reforming Wall Street excess despite an army of lobbyists against us, and making health care more affordable and accessible despite well-organized opposition by those who profit from the status quo. You also know we have not yet done everything we set out to do — not nearly. But that’s a reason to work harder, not to let up. That’s why we’re building this campaign now. And you have to take ownership of it. So I will be direct: Can you step up and make a donation of $5 to get us started? https://donate.barackobama.com/Begin-Again We’ve had the chance to make historic changes that touch every American: from passing a law that says women should get an equal day’s pay for an equal day’s work to removing 100,000 troops from Iraq. Those things and every other important change we’ve made happened because people like you built an organization to win an election in 2008. The stakes are even higher this time. As I’ve spoken with supporters who are helping get this campaign started, I’ve met folks who are frustrated by the pace of change. I understand that. But we knew this wouldn’t be easy. The kind of change we’re working for never comes easily. Now is the time to begin again, and build the campaign that will shape our country’s future. Thank you, Barack

Is It The End Of The World Yet?

     Followers of Faith,

     Many are heralding the end of our planet Earth, as predicted in the Bible, as the Last Days begin on May 21 and come to the grand finale on October 21 of this year.  We do not question peoples’ religious beliefs, we just report on them if we need material for a blog.

     It is rather hard to ignore the events of recent weeks and months, which seem to put this sphere on the brink of disaster.  That is, after all, why we call this series of blogs The Tipping Point.  It is true that we have reached the tipping point and that things just get worse from here.  If you grew up in America in the 20th century, chances are that you had one of the highest standards of life quality ever afforded to humans during the history of our species.  If you go one hundred years in either direction, 1910 or 2110, conditions would not seem near as comfortable as we in the USA have grown used to.

     These are the final days, no doubt about it.  It takes the sting of death away when you know that, once you leave the Earth, it will never be as nice or as much fun as you knew it to be in life.  The elected officials will have nothing to do with trying to save us, as evidenced by the recent events in Japan.  When the nuclear waste from the accident became a quandry, Japan announced to the world that they would dump all the radioactive materials into the ocean.

     Two days later, they dumped it.  Where was the United Nations? Where was anybody responsible?  How could you ignore the dumping of radiation into the ocean, where it works it way around the world via tides and jet streams?  Picture a green field, full of leafy spinach, or maybe arugula.  Picture the atmosphere sucking the ocean water up into a cloud.  Now look at the rain hitting those green leaves.  Mix in a bit of spilled BP oil and other chemicals and you hardly even need a vinaigrette.

     Once that rain gets into the soil, do you reckon that it can be rinsed off?  No, it becomes part of the cellular structure of the leaf.  It may not kill you immediately but it will add up.  It is a good thing we are so involved in cancer research, since we are going to see the number of patients double, triple or quadruple as the years pass.

     What good thing can we say about the final days?  At some point, it will become the common denominator as rich and poor alike succumb to environmentally-caused diseases.  Then everybody will be equal and the class wars (which are just starting to rumble in the curtains backstage) will not be an issue.

     We have seen so many changes over the last 100 years that the next 100 years will be a real bummer for a convenience-oriented society.  Enjoy life while you can!  If you are older, like Your Humble Narrator, you might as well live it up before things start to really suck.

     What about the end of the world, though?

     Since we are universally denominational at CFYSA, we cannot suggest that you pray to a certain diety or another – although we do suggest that you say your prayers.  Many people are talking about the end, so let us look at what one of our heroes, Arlo Guthrie, had to say on the subject in a recent post on his website…

According to some people, the world will come to a close fairly soon – sometime between now (if you’re reading this it hasn’t happened), and sometime next year 2012. I’m putting together a list of 5 things to do just in case the world actually comes to an end.

1) Clean underwear is a must every day. There may not be laundry in the after life. Be sure to be wearing appropriate attire – a white robe will provide suitably for here and there. Note: Hell is clothing optional, so be prepared for anything. And don’t just leave your clothes in the closet, give to an organization who will pass it along to those who may be traveling with you but don’t have stuff to wear right now.

2) Be generous to your favorite charities After all, they may survive in some parallel universe where they will be able to benefit from your generosity here. The Guthrie Interfaith Church (my favorite 501 c 3 foundation) is always looking for help and is multi-dimensional as well as existing on earth.

3) Leave enough pet food and water for your pets. If you’re wrong and the world doesn’t end, they will miss you but eating helps a broken heart.

4) There’s no mention in scripture of there being female angels. All the angels have male names. So either there’s not much sex in heaven or the after life is part of the gay agenda. Act now before it’s too late.

5) Beware the Mayans. Their calendar ends but it could be a ruse. It could be the date when they plan on returning and taking over the Americas again. They obviously would not wish to announce their coming – thus their calendar just quits giving details. Spending Christmas 2012 under Mayan domination could be enough to rip the heart out of any true believer.

The world ends every day for some people, and each day the worlds begins for others. Despite claims to the contrary, it will be that way for a very long time. Any one who distracts you from caring for each other – coming or going – is selling something. If there’s no one buying, no one can be selling. Don’t be fooled by anyone or any group no matter how sincere they may appear to be. People may believe the world is ending but believing doesn’t make it true.

Drill, Baby, Drill!

     Dear Friends, Foes, Freaks and Fuzzies,

     It looks as though some progress is being made on the domestic oil front, with the 4/8/11 ‘rig and drill report’ noting that Hercules Offshore Drilling, an american company in the gulf, has been granted two drill permits.  Hercules will be drilling for oil monster Chevron, but at least we are seeing a gulf-based company get some long-awaited business.

     CFYSA has set up a charitable trust, which includes american oil company stocks in it’s portfolio.  It also has solar power, wind power and water desalinization companies, as well as a uranium mining company.  We believe in covering all corners.

     Having actively attended the very first Earth Day in 1970, we are very much aware of the implications of using oil.  We know it is not a good thing and that alternative sources must be found.  Five years ago, scientists said we had five years to get the carbon emissions issues in order before we hit the tipping point.  Well, looky-look, because we are now at the tipping point and have still done nothing.  Some people believe that their elected officials have an eye on this and will not allow constituents to die of pure pollution, like those people in NYC back in the 60s.  Good luck on that!

     We all know that solar, wind and nuclear energies are the best ways to get us off of the petrol diet.  What many people do not seem to grasp is that major change often reaches the transition step by step.  We cannot simply stop using oil and switch to solar and wind, or even nuclear energy.  Grids need to be set up, infrastructure put in place and lobbyists fom the alternative energy companies need to find elected officials they can pay off to vote for their products.

     We see how we are bound by foreign oil…or do we?  Is it the oil or our appetites?  In the first decade of this century, everybody from Tony Soprano to your grandma drove an SUV.  We worked in offices at the time and three quarters of the people drove trucks or SUVs and had no reason to do so, aside from the fact that it was cheap and easy to get a car loan.  Who is willing to cut their own consumption?

     Maybe a ban on gas-powered recreational vehicles, like ATVs, jetskis, outboard and inboard motorboats and mini-bikes would chip away at the total of consumed fuel.  It would be nice to include motorcycles but some people do use them to get to work and school, so that is a bit harder to do.  You have to wonder about the brain of a person who gets thier biggest thrill from burning gasoline noisily.  It is one thing if you are under 16 because children do need to play but why not find a form of recreation that does not consume fossil fuel or make a hell of a racket?  In the 1970s, when we grew up, bikes were cool and so were the people who rode them, generally.  Now, any ignorant ass with an extra few thousand dollars and a fat wife has one parked in the yard.  It is like what George Carlin said about tattoos and ear rings…to paraphrase him, it was something like, “In the old days we had these things to piss off the squares; now, it is the squares who have them.”  This is especially true in the case of tattoos and Harleys.

     But we digress…the main point we would like to make is that, yes, oil is bad, mmkay?, but we need to use it wisely until we can transition to other energy sources.  The fact that the first ‘hybrid’ car was built in 1900 and the concept subsequently hidden for a hundred years shows how good we are at transition.  We are not.

     Who wants to try?

Gas Shock Clocked, Writer’s Block Stopped

     Understanding Readers,

     We have not posted for a week or so. One of our last posts detailed problems with the pc and an outage at Verizon’s internet banks.  Yesterday, a Verizon worker came to my house after three days of me switching out old wires, phones, jacks, you-name-it, only to tell me that my phone line had been disconnected at the main office, for no reason.

     Falling off the face of the earth, with no phone or internet, was a very strange, lost feeling.  I felt disconnected and could not communicate with friends or go on the stock market or watch videos of fuzzy kittens.  Once used to it, the amount of work that had been put off for no particular reason became easy to tackle without the interference of the web.  I got a lot of interference from my cat, Inkie, but she is just a bug no matter what.

     Nonetheless, my trusty auto, which has been taking me from here to there since 2004, sucked up over $50 worth of gas the other day.  In seven years, it never took $50 worth.  This does not bode well for my idea of the crosscountry kittie caravan in the 30foot RV.  It makes me wonder how much more people will take. 

     Of course, as usual, there is always somebody to blame…now who would we blame if America was rich in oil and natural gas, yet the people living here are not able to afford to fill their cars, trucks and oil tanks at home?  Who would we blame if all the gas and oil we are allowed to consume has to be shipped from halfway across the world, while people who produce gas here could do it cheaper but are not allowed to because of hidden political agendas?  Who would we point to as the Anti-Christ?  If you said ‘Obama’ you could be right on all counts.

     My next door neighbor does not like Obama.  She is 82 years old and was a nurse for many years of her life, in facilities around Long Island, NY, where she is from.  She says she learned to read people’s faces and can tell when people lie about being in pain or caring about others or other facial ‘giveaways’.  She does not like the look on Obama’s puss and you have to admit, he is one of the MEANEST-looking presidents we ever had.  I can only remember back to Kennedy but nobody in that office ever gave the dirty looks that Obama can deal out to those who disagree with him. Sorta like this…

     So, it can be pretty obvious that he does not like people.  That would explain why he wants to screw his own country in a way that will take the rest of history to undo.  Five states now have gas above the $4 line and he can ride around on Air Force One and look down on us.  He could tell SecRATary of the Interior Salazar to stop the moritorium on american oil companies.  BP is drilling in Alaska, where a lot of people think our reserves are…guess what? They are BP’s reserves now…we are not allowed to drill but BP can because they are not American, yet they drill on our soil.  We are giving our resources to BP so they can resell them back to us at an elevated price.

     Why?

     Because we let him; because we elected him (not me), and because we do nothing about his actions now but to watch in awestruck horror as he dismantles the economy and ruins the lives of countless millions in the Gulf.

     Soon it will be April 20.  420.  We suggest that on that day, nobody take any substances which will muddle their thoughts.  We suggest that you get together, as planned…but instead of getting high, figure out how to use your votes to get this disaster off our backs and out of office.  Once that is done, you can get high…if you are lucky.