Tag Archives: jesus christ

Obviously Pregnant???

devilTimid Readers, Please do not let the image of the devil scare you. We just post that to focus the attention on good things which have been turned to evil.
Like the Bible.
On Christmas Eve, Michael Hendrick reportedly attended a function to celebrate the spiritual holiday. The highlight was the host telling a story as it was described. The ‘story’ was the saga of the birth of Christ. It may have deserved a better designation than ‘story’but when the Bible is read from a Kindle or an I-Pad,  it stops being the Word of God.
According to the E-Bible, Mary was not with child as we have been taught these many years. No, now we learn that the Mother of the Christ was not ‘with child’ but she was obviously pregnant.
The first definition of ‘pregnant’in Merriam Webster is ‘cogent,’ meaning…: very clear and easy for the mind to accept and believe ~ or we can look at meaning One – having power to compel or constrain.. The word ‘obviously’ is not one which even appears in the Bible. The first known use of the word ‘obvious’ occurred in 1603…confusing? fuck, yeah!

So what are they doing to the message of the Living Christ which was put in text for good reason? We do not know. It is subversive and changes the way today’s so-called christians look at the scripture. A true Christian would protect the Word of God…what would YOU do?

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One Holiday Down and Thirty Days To Go

     Happy Holidays, Fair Ones.

     Well, Thanksgiving passed without a hitch. No turkey, no stuffing, no pumpkin pie but I did suck down a nice bottle of Dubeuf Beaujolais Nouveau 2010 and it was just marvy. The kitties and I had a peanutbutter sandwich (organic) in order to make the roof of my mouth more sticky, this needing some of the red stuff to wash it loose.

     The holidays ended when my family died and this is the first year that I really do not give a fig (like in figgy pudding) about the holiday or any holiday, for that matter, with the exception of the Pagan versions, which are much more heartfelt. It is not so much that I have given up on the holidays, as Bob Dylan says, ‘my sense of humanity has gone down the drain’.  I am an Outsider. I have said it often and it finally fits at the time when I need to walk the Edge the most – the holidays. I do love my two cats, Inkie and Budderz.

     As we are brought up in american family culture, the holidays get pre-programmed into our brains by many forces (parents, grandparents, siblings, other kids, the media, the church). They make us think we are less of a person for not being part of the crowd. Maybe I choose to be Outside but after trying to be on the ‘Inside’ in Pennsylvania, all I can say is ‘fuck that’.

     Some years, I get a feeling of despair, starting around mid-October. Samhain helps but then we are womped alongside the head with a string of holidays that can cause the depressed to jump over the edge. More suicides are committed and more relationships break up during the Xmas season than anytime of year. Perhaps it is the futility of being loved. Most people don’t have the slightest idea what love is anymore. Many people have told me that ‘love is dead’. I find that hard to believe but, Gentle Readers, it sure feels that way to me.

      Human nature is basically cruel and contentious. Did you ever drive somewhere and have a car in front of you going slow, like maybe 15-20 miles under the speed limit? Then you pass the car and they speed up and tailgate you. People go out of their way to be pricks but I see very few going out of their way to be nice or to care about the feelings of others. Most road rage is kind of private, usually between you, the offender and any witness who may happen along. Acts of kindness are televised, written up, bragged on, tagged on FaceBook and recorded on YouTube.

     Look at our old friend, Jesus, who some people call Son of God and Son of Man at the same time. The Son of God does pretty well for himself, turning water to wine, destroying temples, pulling beards of the moneychangers, raising the dead and a number of other conversation-stopping party tricks. The Son of Man, his alter ego, doesn’t have it so good.  “The foxes have holes and the birds have nests but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Not that I think I am Jesus, but he sure nailed it.

     It is not normal for people to think of others. We think about ourselves. Thinking about others went out of style when we stopped depending on them. When we do for others, our reward is usually waiting in the Land of Karma and will not be felt on this worldly plane. We should do for others for no reason but that our hearts are filled with love. I wish they still were. I wish people still needed each other and showed it.

     When I was a kid in upstate New York, we got some monster snowstorms. Snow covered the ground from Halloween to Easter, from Samhain to Beltain, and I have the childhood pics to prove it. The point is, all of the men of the neighborhood banded together and fought each storm with shovels as a group. They shoveled up one side of the street and down the other, ending at a house (usually ours) where several bottles of Canadian Club whiskey appeared to cap off the work. People were together then. There was not so much personal desolation.

     We have electronic devices to communicate so we do not know half, maybe three quarters of the people we chat with. We have no connections, we have no need for loyalty, we can log off.

     Many years, I had happy holidays and some years I had lonely ones that sucked. This is the first holiday season when I can say, free and easy, that I just don’t care. I would rather be the one out crying in the wilderness than to kiss ass to have a seat at a table. If you have a family, cherish it. Mine is gone and that is life. I am not bitter, I don’t think…I have just stopped caring and I really never had much faith in others to begin with, so nought is lost.

     Enjoy your families. Enjoy the present moment. It is all we have.


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Sunday Funny. A Bible Story For The Hip, Beat and Just Plain Cool

     Kind Readers,

     I keep promising Lord Buckley and have been caught up in writing other stuff for the new issue of Beatdom, that is number Eight, the SEX Issue. Since it is Sunday, a day of rest and a time for some to worship, let us take a look at the worshippers and the Worshipped, as seen by and told through the words of our hero, Lord Buckley!

This is about the Sermon on the Mount and is called, The Nazz (a word stolen by David Bowie in Ziggy Stardust) and an old rock group by that name…

Now look at all you cats and kitties out there whippin’ and wailin’ and jumpin’ up and down and suckin’ up all that juice and pattin’ each other on the back and hippin’ each other who the greatest cat in the world is: Mr. Malenkov, Mr. Talenkov, Mr. Eisenhower, Mr. Wozenweezer, Mr. Wisenwoser, Mr. Woodhill, Mr. Beachill an’ Mr. Churchill and all them hills gonna’ get you straight. If they can’t get you straight, they know a cat that knows a cat who’ll straighten you. But I’m gonna put a cat on you, was the coolest, grooviest, sweetest, wailinest, strongest, swinginest cat that ever stomped on this  jumpin’ green sphere and they called this here cat the Naz.

He was a carpenter kitty. Now the Nazz was the kind of a cat that come on so cool and so groovy and so with it that when he laid it down, whabam! It stayed there! Naturally all the rest of the cats said, “Man, look at that cat wail! He’s wailin’ up a storm up there. Hey, eh, ain’t it down right? Hey, get off my back Jack! What’s the matter with you? I’m tryin’ to dig what the cat’s puttin’ down!”  They’re pushin’ the Nazz to dig his miracle lick, and the Nazz say, “Cool, babies. Tell ya’ what I’m gonna do. I ain’t gonna take two, four six, eight of you cats, but I’m gonna take all twelve of you studs and straighten you all at the same time. Say, you cats look like you pretty hip.” He say, “You buddy with me.”

So The Nazz and his buddies was goofin’ off down the boulevard one day and they run into a little cat with the bent frame. So The Nazz look at this little cat with the bent frame and he say, “What’s a matter wit’ you, baby?”
Little cat with the bent frame he said, “My frame is bent Nazz, it’s been bent from in front.” 
So The Nazz look at the little cat with a bent frame and he put the golden eyes of love on this here little kitty and he look right down into the window of the little cat’s soul and he say to the little cat, he say, “Straighten!” Vrooom – Boom! Up went that cat like an arrow and everybody jumpin’ up and down say “Look what The Nazz put on that boy! Hah-hah. You dug him before,” said “re-dig him now!”

Everybody talkin’ about The Nazz, what a great cat he was, how he swung with the glory of love, how he straighten out all the squares, how he stomp into the money changin’ cart and kicked the short change all over the place and knockin’ the corners off the squares. How he put it down to the one cat, dug it, didn’t dig it. Put it down twice, dug it, didn’t dig it. Put it down the third time, dug it, boom, walked away with his eyes buggin’ out to here bumpin’ into everybody. And they’re pullin’ on The Nazz’s coat tail, they want him to sign the autograph. They want him to do a gig here, do a gig there, play the radio, play the video; He can’t make all that jazz! Like I ‘splained to you he’s a carpenter kitty, got his own lick. But when he know he should go and show and blow, and cannot go, cause he got too much strain on him, straightenin’ out the squares…he sends a coupla’ these cats that he’s hippin’. So came a little sixty-cent gig one day and the Nazz was in a bind, and he put it on a coupla’ boys. He said, “Boys, take care of that for me, would ya?”
“Take it off your wig Nazz, we’ll cool it.” And they started out to straightin’ it out for the Nazz. And they got about half way to where they were goin’ and they came to a little old twenty-cent pool of water and they got right in the pool of water with the boat and all of a sudden, BLAM, the lightnin’ flashin’ and the thunder roarin’ and the boat is goin’ up and down and these poor cats figurin’ every minute gonna’ be their last and one cat look up and…here come the Nazz…cool as anyone you see, right across the water STOMPIN’! And there was a little cat on board, I think his name was Jude.
He said, “Hey, Nazz, can I make it out there with’ya?”
And The Nazz say, “Make it, Jude!” 
Ol’ Jude went stompin’ off that boat took four steps, dropped his whole cart. Phhhhhiiiiittt, Nazz had to stash him back on board. 
So The Nazz say, “Say, what seems to be troublin’ you boys? Heh heh. Say, you hittin’ on that SOS’in’ bell pretty hard. You gonna’ bend that bell knockin’ on it like that.”
One of the cats say, “What’s eatin’ ya? Oh, can’t ya see the storm’s goin’ and the lightnin’ flashin’ and the thunder roarin’!”
And The Nazz say, “I told you stay cool didn’t I babies?”
To the people who don’t know, that means to believe, to stay cool is to be, to have the sweet fragrance of serenity rock your wig. See. So now everybody’s talkin’ about the Nazz. Ooh, this beautiful, swingin’ man. How he’s settin’ the country on fire with great sparks of great love like a swingin’ non-stop satellites goin’ through all the lanes and valleys and puttin’ down the scene with such beauty and such power and such charm that there are now sparks seventy-five feet long shootin’ out of the grapevine and they now got five thousand of these little cats and kitties in the Nazz’s home town where the cat live, lookin’ to get straight. Well he knows he can’t straighten’em there. It’s too small a place to want to hang everybody up. So the Nazz backed away a little bit and he look at these cats and these kitties and he say, “Come on, babies. Let’s cut on out down the pike.” And there went the Nazz, with these five thousand cats and kitties a stompin’ up a storm. Behind them there’s a great love river joy, it’s goin’ like a great chain through these gorgeous cats and kitties as they’re swingin’ along in the beat of the Nazz and the birds are flyin’ on one side and singin’ love songs to these cats and kitties and there’s a great jubilee of love. And the Nazz talkin’ about how pretty the hour, how pretty the flower, how pretty you, how pretty me, how pretty the tree. Nazz had them pretty eyes. He wanted everybody to see with his eyes and see how pretty it was. And they’re havin’ such a glorious swingin’ time that before you know it they were forty-two miles out of town and ain’t nobody got the first biscuit. 
So the Nazz look at them cats and kitties and he say “You hungry ain’t ya babies?” 
And the cat say, “Yea Nazz, say we’s diggin’ so hard what you puttin’ down, heh-heh, we didn’t prepare, say we goofed.”
So the Nazz say, “Well, we gotta take it easy here We wouldn’t want to go ahead and order up something you might not like, would we.”
And they said “Sweet double hipness, you put it down and we’ll pick it up.”
And the Nazz step away a little bit and he put a glorious sound of love on.
He said “Oh, sweet swingin’ flowers of the field.”
And they said “Oh, great non-stop singular sound of beauty.”
And he said “Stomp upon the terra.”
They did.
He said, “Lift your miracle of the body.”
The body went up.
He said “Lift your arms.”
The arms went up.
He said “Higher and higher.”
He said “Dig infinity!”
And they dug it!
And when they did that, there was a flash of thunder, and in one hand was a great big stuffed sweet, swingin’, smoked fish and in the other a long gone crazy loaf of that southern home-made, honey-tastin’, sweet bread. Why, these poor cats flipped!
Nazz never did nothin’ simple, when he laid it, he laid it.

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