How To Make Money On Legal Marijuana

Faithful Readers,
We thank your for all your recent support by visiting this blog and hope you will keep it up…we promise to keep writing if you do. Today we want to talk about how to make money…a lot of people hate money but want it. They blame one percent of everybody else for taking their money…this may well be true but there are ways to get your cash back, legal ways in case anybody from the law enforcement community perked up their ears when they saw this title.
First, we have the legislation from the FED last week which allows banks to fund pot growers in legal states…this is the biggest read-between-the-lines green light that the USA could get as regards the future of our fav weed. People make livings from it and raise families here. They buy new cars and lighting systems, soil and pots. They put money back into the economy and they have hope in their eyes. They are not waiting for a pension and know they have averted the dead end that most young people find themselves facing these days when thinking about a ‘career’…what a word!
But you do not even have to grow it or smell it or even touch it to make money. You can buy stocks through your favorite brokerage which will put you in the pot business, more or less. But how to make moey? Buy low and sell high is the logic.
At this point the stocks sell at incredibly low prices, like 3 or four shares for a dollar. The first such stock we cashed in on was Medical Marijuana Inc (MJNA) which is kind of a stinker and we are happy we got out with our pants on that one but we did make a few hundred dollars. When we first heard about it, Bruce Perlowin, the Prince of Pot, was at the helm. It looked like a good thing and Perlowin talked it up on CNBC but jumped ship and now runs HEMP, Inc (HEMP). Due to his dodgy ways we do not recommend either one of these but prefer to stick to rowlife, Inc. (PHOT) at this time…
Growlife, Inc., the indoor lighting/hydroponic/cash-lending-to-growers conglomerate is our new favorite and they stand more to gain than any company from the FED decision to allow mariuana lending.
They have been buying up major growershop chains and were the first company to announce that they would lend money to new grow operations to get set up. All summer long it languished at under five cents a share as we told everybody we knew to go and buy some. Now it is at forty cents a share and that represents roughly a 1400% gain on your money in the six month period from today back to August 18, when it was three cents a share. Compare that to the dismal 1-2% return on a 15-month CD!
Of course, playing with penny stocks is like playing with fire but the idea is to buy a bunch when it is at a low point and sell a portion when it hits a high – a large enough portion so that the remaining shares are yours for free. It is still at a price where you can do that
This is new industry. Do you realize how rare a new industry in the USA is? What was the last one…computers/internet services? Was that a money-maker for those who got in early? As of December 2103, Growlife has a former Microsoft/Yahoo! executive running operations and some other high-tech moneyed names are also lurking in the background. There is a lot of cash to be made here. Of course money is evil but you need money to live.
Live is evil spelled backwards.
If the ‘one percenters’ are taking all the money, why not grab a few crumbs as they flake of the sides of the monopoly money stacks. Why let them make all the money and complain?
So while we do not promote rich pigs running our lives, we do like to pick their pockets and when we see them piling onto something, we look for loose change on the ground…

This is a free blog so do not look at the typos…

“…and Ten Grams of Krassner LOL, Please.”

Learned Readers,

We recently had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Paul Krassner for the next edition of Beatdom. Mr. Krassner is known and unknown for many things. He founded The Realist, co-founded the Yippies, worked closely with Lenny Bruce, gave Groucho Marx his first hit of LSD, hung with the Grateful Dead and Ken Kesey, uncovered presidential neckrophilia, tested a new batch of acid for the Mafia, played violin onstage at Carnegie Hall at age six, and  a lot of other stuff we are saving for the Summer issue of Beatdom.

Mr. Krassner has written fourteen books so far and is also working on a novel and one on the MK ULTRA program, which all you readers should know about by now.  While running The Realist, he also wrote/edited for such prestigious publications as MAD, Playboy, Hustler, Rolling Stone, Spin, The Nation, National Lampoon and so many other places that unless you lived under a rock for the past half a century, he got into your heads.

Allow us to illustrate: recently we spoke with Kitty Bruce regarding her father, Lenny. She was on crutches and said it reminded her of the time when Lenny was on crutches. He had fallen out of a window while trying LSD and shouted something both prescient and amusing as he fell. We told her what he said and she laughed at the story. We told it to her before and she asked me where we heard it. We said that we were not sure but would find out. Looking through our books on Lenny, we couldn’t find it, many books still being packed from the move west. Somehow, we were sure of the line but still questioned  the veracity.

In the meantime, we bought a copy of Confessions of a Raving, Unconfined Nut by Paul Krassner in preparation for the interview. Flipping through it…voila!…there was the story about the fall from the window. To find out, get the book. The ISBN is 9781593765033. The point here is that we carried that anecdote around for years, maybe forty-some years. How did it get into out brains in the first place? It started with him typing it and ended up with who knows how many of us retaining it. That is influence.

We often take off on tangents about how things should be and we think a man like Paul Krassner needs to be immortalized in some way.  Considering his achievements, as well as his personal preferences, we thought the most appropriate way to honor him is to create a new hybrid of medical marijuana/recreational marijuana in his name. It is something he enjoys. If it were not for people like him, we would not even be allowed to talk about getting it legalized. It used to be a crime to talk about it in public, as a young Allen Ginsberg (we think it was) found out.

Going around the country we saw a bunch of jam bands out there and we see a lot of young people here on the coast. One thing we saw at both places was lots of pride in the production of quality medical marijuana and its oils and elixers and tinctures. It is nice to see somebody who is proud of their work and that seems common in the pot industry.

All that said, to all you growers out there who are into producing the hybrids, please develop a hybrid for Paul. He doubts that you can do it, so please take this seriously. With the way business and competition is going here, it would put you on the map to come up with the chosen bud for KRASSNER LOL. If you do it, you will have it publicized nationally, probably by actual news stories, since he IS a public figure. What could be better for business than an exclusive product?

When asked what type of bud it should be, he became more specific. We will be publishing his exact words so we will not print them here…except to say, most importantly, that the strain should not be something to put you to sleep, it should make you laugh. Laughter is the most healthy thing we can do, he says, and that is his reasoning. It is scientific fact, so who can argue?

We found Laughing Buddha on one of the pot sites and that may be a step in the right direction. Look at this list below. This is what somebody put on their ad on Craigslist to get attention. There are a lot of names left out but a new name would Google up faster, we bet…a name like Krassner LOL.

Green crack, snoops cut blue dream, girl scout cookies, afoogey, green crack, permafrost, mmj, marijuana, doctors, recommendations, weed, pot, Maryjane, caregiver, medical marijuana, hash, hash oil, edibles, ISO hash oil, dispensaries, medicinal marijuana, medical marijuana doctor, medical cannabis, buy weed, legalized marijuana, legal marijuana dispensaries, medicinal dispensary, medicinal dispensaries, pot, medical marijuana, weed, 420, buds, joint, kgb, mary jane

More soon…

buy the book at www.paulkrassner.com

This is a free blog so ignore any typos which appear.

2014, A Good Year To Not Be Fooled Again!

Gentle Readers, we wish you the Happiest of New Years.
The holidays are behind us now and it is time to get behind the mule again.
While we are swiping phrases here, we may as well bid 2013 to kiss it’s blistered balls goodbye. We did manage to find our way west over some rough road but landed on our feet in Washington.
Now we get to work. Do something for the community and become part of it. if that doesn’t work out there is plenty of room here to start new types of community. In fact, there is a new networking going on and it is stimulated by the recent legislation making pot legal here. This is one of the few places where you can still get in on something new. It makes the American dream possible again, really.
This is closest we managed to come to ‘the sky is the limit’ since maybe the sixties. Our younger friends show signs of optimism returning.
Forget the Phish concert in NYC last night where at least 228 people were arrested, according to the New York Times, mostly for drug possession, drugs being ‘marijuana, hash, psychedelic mushrooms, LSD, MDMA or ecstasy, amphetamine and prescription drugs like Oxycodone, OxyContin and Xanax, among other drugs.’ Funny, no beer?
Here is a NY Times photo of the event…

But that was last year. Police in Virginia are quoted as ‘eagerly awaiting’ the arrival of the band’s tour.
There is money in drugs, one way or the other. About 70 people were arrested at a total of five Phish shows in NY/NJ over the past year or so. Cops at Madison Square Garden more than tripled that number last night. That is a lot of $$$ in fines and also a number of people with lost privileges, depending on severity of the charges. A felony takes away your voice at the voting booth and creates other irritating humiliations if you live in society.
We hope it’s not a trend but it IS something we should all keep our eyes on.

Also, a good thing that happened in 2013 was a concert Friday night, performed by Patti Smith, also in NY. You can find the whole show posted on http://www.expectingrain.com courtesy of a blogger there.
Patti is always a hero to us. She gave us a nice interview for Beatdom Issue Twelve and the other night she gave some sage advice on the year ahead. In light of our own past year, we found it especially pertinent and thought we should share. Patti always pegs it. Between songs the other night, she said…

“I think we need for 2013, god bless it, to come to a close. I found that…it was a bit of a rough year, a bit of a challenging year, but I think that 2014 is gonna be…this is what I think for 2014…first of all I think it might be an economically rough year but I think for us, the People, We, Us…we will find our own world because the world around is so fucked and it’s so corrupt and it’s so full of shit that we all have to say, is “Okay, you do your thing. I’m doing mine.”
We’re gonna get healthy.
We’re gonna get strong.
We’re gonna get aware.
We’re gonna work on our ideas.
We’re just going to do our fucking thing.
(sings), it’s your thing, do what you want to do.
That sounds really wise. I can just hear people going, ‘she said, ‘do your thing. Hahaha. How wise.” Well think about it…DO YOUR THING…”

So…like she says.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(this is a free blog so do not sweat the typos…)

More About Heading West

Recently, the editorial ‘We’ left the East Coast and headed west. “The west is the best,” Jim Morrison said. It is true and it is also kind of sad. After fifty-six years in the same time zone, the Eastern Standard Zone lost the fun it used to be.
Personally, we first heard rock and roll in New York, as Roy Orbison exposed his whiney heart over radio in my parent’s old Desoto singing Born On The Wind. At five years old, we watched the Beatles arrive at Shea Stadium on the tv and the resulting new British revolution followed on the screen. In our teens we spat at the stage of CBGB, pogoed and slammed.
New York City, the City that never sleeps must have been napping when the Hip Train arrived in Colorado and Washington with legal weed. How can it
be the hippest city in the world when the most delectable commodities are easier to get here in the west? Our eyes moisten with tears of sorrow when we consider this. We think of the swinging forties and fifties when the Rat Pack ruled the dark streets and the punk rock in the seventies that restarted the heart of rock and roll in the face of the disco machine uptown at Studio 54.
Recently, the editorial ‘We’ left the East Coast and headed west. “The west is the best,” Jim Morrison said. It is true and it is also kind of sad. After fifty-six years in the same time zone, the Eastern Standard Zone lost the fun it used to be.
Personally, we first heard rock and roll in New York, as Roy Orbison exposed his whiney heart over radio in my parent’s old Desoto singing Born On The Wind. At five years old, we watched the Beatles arrive at Shea Stadium on the tv and the resulting new british revolution followed on the screen. In our teens we spat at the stage of CBGB, pogoed and slammed.
New York City, the City that never sleeps must have been napping when the Hip Train arrived in Colorado and Washington with legal weed. How can it
be the hippest city in the world when the most delectable commodities are easier to get here in the west? Our eyes moisten with tears of sorrow when we consider this anomaly. We think of the swinging forties and fifties when the Rat Pack ruled the dark streets and the punk rock in the seventies that restarted the heart of rock and roll in the face of the disco machine uptown at Studio 54.
We miss the dirty old New York City of our youth with her dirty pavements, leering pervs and beggars with outstretched hands. They brought a sense of danger that seemed vital to the city, like the visage of Moondog standing on Sixth Avenue shouting his poetry and scaring more timid foot traffic to the other side of the street with his two-horned Viking helmet. Philadelphia still sports a layer of dirt on it but Disney constipated the Big Apple by cleaning up Times Square, the once-beloved center of sleaze. The last time we walked down to Greenwich Village and got thirsty for a beer, we had to walk eight blocks…eight blocks!!! In NYC for a beer? The real indignity came with viewing the Lower East Side out the window of an Applebee’s because that was all we could find.
And what happened to the 25 Cent XXX Sex Show on Forty Second Street? As bad as it turned out to be, how could anybody resist finding out how much of a show you get for a quarter?
Well, now we reside in Washington, home state of the most prolific serial killers. The Son of Sam fell far short of some of the body counts we see here. To the south a couple of states, we have California so that gives us our minimum daily requirement of nearby whack-jobs. What is the difference between bad behavior at the Jersey Shore and bad behavior in LA? LA dresses it up better and has blondes. It all comes out the same on TMZ, though.
We arrived here at 70 miles per hour. That, in itself, tells volumes about the gap between coasts. We crossed some areas in Montana where there was no speed limit whatsoever. At 70 mph, we do not feel inclined to speed. Therefore, the police have no need to pull us over. If they did, they would find something that is legal, anyway. When they put out the DUI patrols here, they are kind enough to tell you which night of the week and during which hours on which road. That is so kind!
In fact, if we do not agree with the way things are run, they even have legally assisted suicide! How can we go wrong?
Some eastern states go to 65 mph but the norm is the old ‘stay alive at fifty-five’. Go 65mph there and they have a good reason to stop you. Take Pennsylvania (please…haha), if you are stopped and ‘suspected’ of being high on marijuana, you must consent to the urine test. The test used by the state police is so sensitive that it can spot the tiniest amount of THC metabolites in urine so that it can even turn positive if you smoked six months ago. If you prove positive you lose the license, get the fine, etc…if you refuse, you get the same thing…not nice!
No such things happen here. There also seems to be a great paranoia in the east. Before we left and as we packed, we heard numerous friends and associates warn us about the dangers on the road. “Keep your guns in the storage locker!” “Don’t keep any paraphernalia on you!” “Remember the facial recognition scanners every mile along the road!”
We left with two shotguns and a rifle lying right behind the seat under the open case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, which we drank all the way from Harrisburg to the bottom of Lake Michigan one June night and did not see a single police until we waved at one in a rest stop outside of Fargo. There is really nothing new to be scared of on the road. Take it from us, it’s the same old road. Be free.
Here, hitch-hikers still stick their thumbs out and serial killers smile at them. Beggars guard entrances to the shopping areas, mostly young methed-out tweakers with nothing to look forward to. Older ones drifted north after then-NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani solved the city’s homeless ‘problem’ by rounding up everybody in the parks and giving them a free bus ticket to LA, but only if they promised not to return. So we have all types here.
Most exciting, just to the south in Portland, the city hums with activity. We can feel the energy and a scene is taking place there…either that or the place is loaded with poseurs. From the many small music magazines we see, we know Portland has tons of small venues with live shows every night. Big acts tend to play Seattle and skip down to Cali. The scene in Portland feels organic, the visiting acts at local clubs seem to be an esoteric mix which blends with and compliments all of the fresh new faces releasing new songs on vinyl and playing crowded gigs.
Where can we get the best price for our old vinyl? Portland, of course. So many record and alternative book stores line the streets here that it reminds us of the Village in the old days, before Bleeker Bob’s and other old rare record/cd haunts vanished. If we sell an LP in Portland we get cash as opposed to the dreaded store credit, which has so often dampened our spirits. We take the cash and go to small clubs where the vibe reaches out from the city center into outlying neighborhoods.
Count up the clubs and the acts per night and we do not think NYC can keep up, not with the rock and roll end of things. We feel the loose, mellow, friendly haze of the current heroin epidemic there, as well. Funny how those things seem to keep time with each other.
Seriously, though, the scene in Portland, so robust you can taste it, may just break out and unleash a new twist, a new alternative to alternative, a fresh coat of paint to a passe’ form of music. What is happening in rock and roll right now? Who is hot? Where is the innovation? When did we last see a ‘movement?’ Was that way back when grunge hit?
The biggest sellers remain in place from the sixties, seventies and eighties. The geezers sell more ducats than youths do and that is wrong. College students listen to Pink Floyd and the Beatles. These may be old bands but soon we ought to be hearing from the young and angry again, unless rock and roll really is dead.
We’ll be sitting right here, watching from up close.
See ya!

We miss the dirty old New York City of our youth with her dirty pavements, leering pervs and beggars with outstretched hands. They brought a sense of danger that seemed vital to the city, like the visage of Moondog standing on Sixth Avenue shouting his poetry and scaring more timid foot traffic to the other side of the street with his two-horned Viking helmet. Philadelphia still sports a layer of dirt on it but Disney constipated the Big Apple by cleaning up Times Square, the once-beloved center of sleaze. The last time we walked down to Greenwich Village and got thirsty for a beer, we had to walk eight blocks…eight blocks!!! In NYC for a beer? The real indignity came with viewing the Lower East Side out the window of an Applebee’s because that was all we could find.
And what happened to the 25 Cent XXX Sex Show on Forty Second Street? As bad as it turned out to be, how could anybody resist finding out how much of a show you get for a quarter?
Well, now we reside in Washington, home state of the most prolific serial killers. The Son of Sam fell far short of some of the body counts we see here. To the south a couple of states, we have California so that gives us our minimum daily requirement of nearby whack-jobs. What is the difference between bad behavior at the Jersey Shore and bad behavior in LA? LA dresses it up better and has blondes. It all comes out the same on TMZ, though.
We arrived here at 70 miles per hour. That, in itself, tells volumes about the gap between coasts. We crossed some areas in Montana where there was no speed limit whatsoever. At 70 mph, we do not feel inclined to speed. Therefore, the police have no need to pull us over. If they did, they would find something that is legal, anyway. When they put out the DUI patrols here, they are kind enough to tell you which night of the week and during which hours on which road. That is so kind!
In fact, if we do not agree with the way things are run, they even have legally assisted suicide! How can we go wrong?
Some eastern states go to 65 mph but the norm is the old ‘stay alive at fifty-five’. Go 65mph there and they have a good reason to stop you. Take Pennsylvania (please…haha), if you are stopped and ‘suspected’ of being high on marijuana, you must consent to the urine test. The test used by the state police is so sensitive that it can spot the tiniest amount of THC metabolites in urine so that it can even turn positive if you smoked six months ago. If you prove positive you lose the license, get the fine, etc…if you refuse, you get the same thing…not nice!
No such things happen here. There also seems to be a great paranoia in the east. Before we left and as we packed, we heard numerous friends and associates warn us about the dangers on the road. “Keep your guns in the storage locker!” “Don’t keep any paraphernalia on you!” “Remember the facial recognition scanners every mile along the road!”
We left with two shotguns and a rifle lying right behind the seat under the open case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, which we drank all the way from Harrisburg to the bottom of Lake Michigan one June night and did not see a single police until we waved at one in a rest stop outside of Fargo. There is really nothing new to be scared of on the road. Take it from us, it’s the same old road. Be free.
Here, hitch-hikers still stick their thumbs out and serial killers smile at them. Beggars guard entrances to the shopping areas, mostly young methed-out tweakers with nothing to look forward to. Older ones drifted north after then-NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani solved the city’s homeless ‘problem’ by rounding up everybody in the parks and giving them a free bus ticket to LA, but only if they promised not to return. So we have all types here.
Most exciting, just to the south in Portland, the city hums with activity. We can feel the energy and a scene is taking place there…either that or the place is loaded with poseurs. From the many small music magazines we see, we know Portland has tons of small venues with live shows every night. Big acts tend to play Seattle and skip down to Cali. The scene in Portland feels organic, the visiting acts at local clubs seem to be an esoteric mix which blends with and compliments all of the fresh new faces releasing new songs on vinyl and playing crowded gigs.
Where can we get the best price for our old vinyl? Portland, of course. So many record and alternative book stores line the streets here that it reminds us of the Village in the old days, before Bleeker Bob’s and other old rare record/cd haunts vanished. If we sell an LP in Portland we get cash as opposed to the dreaded store credit, which has so often dampened our spirits. We take the cash and go to small clubs where the vibe reaches out from the city center into outlying neighborhoods.
Count up the clubs and the acts per night and we do not think NYC can keep up, not with the rock and roll end of things. We feel the loose, mellow, friendly haze of the current heroin epidemic there, as well. Funny how those things seem to keep time with each other.
Seriously, though, the scene in Portland, so robust you can taste it, may just break out and unleash a new twist, a new alternative to alternative, a fresh coat of paint to a passe’ form of music. What is happening in rock and roll right now? Who is hot? Where is the innovation? When did we last see a ‘movement?’ Was that way back when grunge hit?
The biggest sellers remain in place from the sixties, seventies and eighties. The geezers sell more ducats than youths do and that is wrong. College students listen to Pink Floyd and the Beatles. These may be old bands but soon we ought to be hearing from the young and angry again, unless rock and roll really is dead.
We’ll be sitting right here, watching from up close.
See ya!

Extra, Extra! Read All About It. Uruguay 1st Country to Legalize Pot!

not chilly in Uruguay…

Reverent Readers,
This slightly dated yet still-hot news emerged in recent days, 11/11/13 to be specific, quoted from the MJNA website, with full recognition to them for lifting it from UPS and FOX…thanks, all!!!
MJNA is the stock ticker symbol for Medical Marijuana, Inc, and though it has proven to not be wholly reliable, the following items were copied by them from reliable sources. To avoid conflict of interest, we did not read the news on the first two sites – this way we simply pass on what they posted…but it looks like positive news to us and last we heard they were negotiating with Jamaica to do the same thing.

Uruguay First Country to Legalize Cannabis

As was anticipated in July, Uruguay today became the first country in the world to fully legalize cannabis. The country is the first to legalize all aspects of the marijuana trade, with the government regulating the production, sale, and use of cannabis. The measure is aimed to stem the growing violence related to the drug trade and to offer treatment instead of punishment.

From Fox News Latino:

The Senate gave final legislative approval to the bill late Tuesday, and President José Mujica, who campaigned for the legislation, is expected to sign it into law. The 78-year-old president has said he wants the market to begin operating next year.

“Today is an historic day. Many countries of Latin America, and many governments, will take this law as an example,” Sen. Constanza Moreira, a member of the governing Broad Front coalition, said as the bill passed with 16 votes in favor and 13 against. Congress’ lower house approved the measure in late July.

[…]

“This is not liberalization of marijuana. It can be consumed within certain parameters established by law. I think it will reduce consumption,” Sen. Luis Gallo, a retired doctor who favored the bill, told the Associated Press.

[…]

The government got help from a national TV campaign and other lobbying efforts supporting by billionaire currency speculator and philanthropist George Soros and his Open Society Foundation and Drug Policy Alliance. In September, Mujica met with Soros and billionaire David Rockefeller in New York to explain his legal-market plan.

Read the full article at Fox News Latino or The Associated Press but remember where you saw it first.

Thank The Supreme Court And Ferd For This Post (contains explicit language)

Gentle Readers,

Given the subject matter in this blog, we tried to find a nice ‘lunatic’ image but ended up with an image of a ‘luna kit’ and since it is a cool image we may as well just go with the flow and take what our graphics department comes up with!

Why a lunatic? Ferd is quoted here, that’s why the lunatic!

Ferd does not have a computer and does not even have an email address. We told him we were writing about him several times but he has never taken the time to look at the screen to see what we say. That said, let us consider that the Suprme Court recently took all penalties off of using foul language and determined that is is perfectly legal to write, type or speak the words ‘fucking asshole‘.  We find this reassuring to know that when we are pulled over for yet another traffic violation, we are allowed to exclaim, “Thanks a lot, you fucking asshole” to the ‘officer’ who has cited us.

Thanks to our cultural heroes, it is now legal to curse in public and it is with the blessings of the High Court that we relate the following:

One recent hot, sunny Summer day, we found ourselves at the door of Ferd’s domain. Outside and sitting in the sun with no water and not enough leash to reach the shade was his cat, Willie. After pounding on the door, waking and berating him, he unhooked Willie and took her inside (“her” because Willie is short for Wilhelmina). Willie flopped on the floor, exhausted. We questioned Ferd on the lack of water for Willie, at which point he filled a bowl and Willie immediately started to lap it up. Feeling sorry for poor Willie, Your Humble Narrator looked at Ferd and called him a fucking asshole.

Many people would take humbrage or offense to such a remark but Ferd took it in stride. In fact, he complimented me on it. He recounted a day, some 40 years earlier, when Your Narrator was with a group of school friends and Ferd. Pot was pretty unavailable and five of us stood in a circle while the bowl was filled with our last remaining stash. Putting a light to the bowl, we took the first toke and passed it to Ferd, who immediately dropped it on the ground, where the remains could not be recovered.  Everybody cursed him, even himself. This incident had long been forgotten, albiet in the the mind of Ferd. He recounted the occasion and how we had called him a fucking asshole forty years earlier.

“You know,” said Ferd, seemingly amused at being insulted, “Do you remember that time I dropped the bowl?”

“No,” we countered, “and what does that have to do with anything and why can’t you take care of your cat?”

Blowing off the bit about the cat, he related the story of the dropped bowl. “You sound exactly the same calling me a fucking asshole today, as you did when you called me a fucking asshole forty years ago. I can close my eyes and it is like going back in time.”

Great, we thought, a fucking asshole in a timeless warp…or ‘Ferd…An Asshole Through the Ages’…

We thought this was humorous enough but, more recently, we were moved to refer to Ferd as ‘an imbecile’ and he objected strongly to the remark. He had his reasons. He said that being an imbecile was a part of normal human development and that he had passed that stage.  As he put it, “You are born, and from the time you ‘come out of the shute’ you are an imbecile. Then, later you develop into an idiot, until you become a moron. These are the stages of a child’s brain development. I read it in a book!”

We are not sure what book Ferd had his nose in that time – or what he had his nose in before he looked at the book – but  we actually searched the internet to see how he could have come up with such a classic way of distinguishing between inbecility and idiocy. Being a master of both, we almost hoped to find something to support his jive but could not find a single thing to back him up.

He must be a moron. 

 

Some Good Reasons To Buy Beatdom Issue 9

Cats and Kittens, Cherished Readers,

Open minds that have no leaders,

We return to you today after quite a long break in the action, although we see you have been reading daily and we appreciate the patronage!

Our disappearance was caused due to the fact that Your Humble Narrator is now Co-Publisher of Beatdom Books and we published our first two exciting volumes in the month of July…Beatdom Issue Nine and Zoning by Spencer Kansa, which we shall tell you about in the next blog.

     So why buy the new Beatdom? Ten dollars…one dollar per reason…as we have changed the format to that of a more traditional literary journal and also have gone to black and white, save for the excellent cover illustration by R.H.Harper, an excellent Philadelphia artist.

     First and foremost, you will find a lot of great writing from our regular crew of writers, as well as some new faces. We have new, yes NEW, photos of Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs and Norman Mailer which have never been published before and were donated to us by the remarkable Jerry Aronson, whose DVD, The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg is reviewed at length, as well as a review of the PBS Naked Lens film by filmmaker Yony Leyser,  William S. Burroughs: A Man Within. You can find reviews of both of them on this blog space if you use the search function but the review in Beatdom, with the photos from Jerry, make an exceptionally fine piece.

     The cover is so nice that you will be sure to look hip while reading it, so that is a reason in itself and it is a real conversation starter…just look at that cover…and there are numerous other great illustrations inside…you may ascertain from the cover that this is our ‘Drugs’ issue, so we have a number of articles with a droogy theme, as well as straight essays and poetry.

     …which brings us to yet another reason, which is the excellent fiction by Katy Gurin, Chuck Taylor and Dan Leo (as well as by Your Humble Narrator) and the accompanying illustrations and art by award-winning filmmaker Waylon Bacon and Haydn Lock.

     Then, we have the scholarly studies from around the world, like the essay on Hunter S. Thompson in Kentucky, by Rory Feehan in Ireland, and a detailed look at Mr. Burroughs’ forays into the jungles of South America in search of yage by Nick Meador and Geetanjali Joshi Mishra’s insightful look at Allen Ginsberg, From Ganja To God, about the late poet’s experiences with ganja in India, and a look at Burroughs’ groundbreaking work with yage by David S, Wills, our fearless leader.

     We have poetry smuggled out of the heart of a womens’ prison, poetry about addiction and poetry about supermarkets, plus more poetry, for the verse-lovers in the crowd.

     Another fine reason to buy this treasure-trove of Beat knowledge and enjoyable fiction and poetry, as we mentioned earlier, is that we have made it available at the ridiculously low price of $9.99 a copy, plus $2 for shipping…that is two dollars in America and two euros for international customers. Our first copy was sent to a reader in Australia…if you order quickly (www.beatdom.com) you may even get your copy before the first one hits the land down under.  We have squeezed the large, airplane-browsing-sized, full colour issues into a standard format literary journal, so it is easy to keep in pocket or purse. In fact, we dare you to find something better to read at that price and if you find something even half as hip, we want to know about it.

    This is actually an old reason, but Beatdom is the world’s most popular Beat-themed literary journal. We have readers on every continent except Antartica and we may open an office there just to stimulate sales…when we have the cash, that is…which may be a while since we only hope to break even on this endeavor…as has always been the case with Beatdom, all along…we are not here to get rich on your hard-earned book money. We are here to keep the Beat spirit alive and let you know what is happening in the world of Beatdom.

     This issue was printed and bound by the prestigious Sheridan Press. We chose them so that we could offer you the best in quality, not just in the writing and art but in the reproduction of such fine work. Sheridan is a venerable force in the publishing industry, printer of the best among literary journals…and that is why we chose them to bring you the finest Beatdom possible.

     It will not be online for immediate free download, like the older, more expensive issues were. It will be in the future – but at the moment, the only way to see it is to open a copy and start enjoying yourself. To older readers, consider this a literary take on ZAP Comix…great art, good messages and hip from beginning to end.

      Also, check out the cover illustration for David Wills’ upcoming (on Beatdom Books) novel The Dog Farm. You may have heard recent news about the glow-in-the-dark dogs which were created by those krazy koreans but Mr. Wills gives you a whole new view of South Korea.

    So what are you waiting for? You can buy it with check, money order or Paypal. Orders paid with check or money order will be shipped once funds have cleared, which is overnight in the day of instant wire transfer…so take a chance…don’t be a mooncalf, don’t be a fuddy duddy…get hip and get yourself a copy of Beatdom Issue Nine…it may sell out before you get the chance…

K2, JWH Products Still Legal No Matter What You Have Read

     Confused Comrades,

     The fact that horrible scumbag politician Jenifer Mann (R-PA) is still trying to pass legislation against K2 and related products, means one thing – they are still legal.  You may have heard on the TV news or read in your local paper that such products were illegal since November last year.  They lied and the public bought it!

     No law was passed and the stuff is perfectly legal.

     They will try to pass the law again but we suggest you try these fun substances while you can.  We also suggest that you find alternative news sources, if you fell for that line of guff.  That goes for everything, not just substances…do not trust the media because it is manipulated,

     Bottomline, if fat assed Jenifer Mann is trying to outlaw these products, that is the proof they are still legal. Wake up and think for yourselves, Gentle Ones, or much worse will be perpetrated upon you in years to come as the government gets further and deeper into out pockets and homes.

     Look for proof and distrust any authority. 

     Sometimes people are compared to sheep.  In a case like this, it is an insult to the sheep, since sheep will not be deterred unless herded by a sheep dog.  Humans do not even require a dog to control them…ignorance works much better.

     Wake up and look around. Make your own decisions. Don’t follow leaders. Watch your parking meters.

Facebook Fools ~ With Friends Like This, Who Needs Enemas?

     Friends and Readers,

     You can run into some ugly things in life, like PA. Rep. Jennifer Mann’s face is certain proof of, so we posted her pic.  Another ugly thing in life is having no friends and, still worse, are those people who think they are your friends but are far from it.  That can be even worse than thinking someone is your friend and they are not…since that you have control over.

     Take the case in point, one kid from high school nick-named ‘Wankie’.  Wankie lived near me so I had to put up with him to a degree and, in so doing, got to see him put into some ugly situations, as well as some that were only heard about.  Some kids were crueler to Wankie than others.

     Ferd was only bad enough to steal Wankie’s beloved reefer, once doing that four days in a row.  It was very easy because Wankie was very gullible.  Just ask him to see his pot and when he pulled it out, Ferd grabbed it and it was gone.  Then, the next day at the bus stop, a repeat of the same action.  Then another two days until he even protested. It was amusing in a childish, mean teen sort of way.  Gullibility is always funny if it is very conspicuous.

     That is not what the blog is about, however.  A few winters ago, some old acquaintances found me on FB and ‘friended’ me.  A lot of adventures had occurred during high school so it was fun reminiscing.  Then another ‘pal’ from the same group contacted me and we went over all the old stories.  Now, these guys were never real, true friends.  They were just convenient people to smoke and drink with and sell stuff to.

     So, these two guys are laying all these old stories out there and we are all yucking it up, cyberlike.  At this point, Your Humble Narrator got curious about what happened to some other people from high school and looked in the ‘friend’s list’ of one of these guys.  Let us digress, for a moment.

     This ‘pal’, in particular, had conned Wankie into going camping with himself and two other guys, basically so they could use his car to get to the campgrounds.  While camping, they all got drunk, as could be expected with teens back then, and Wankie was the most stricken by hangover out of them all.

     Not to be deterred, this sterling example of a ‘friend’, was not happy enough to rejoice in the pasty-faced sickness and cold-sweated curses coming from Wankie.  Catching some tree-frogs and fetching the skillet and some eggs, he made a nice treefrog omelet and was so kind as to give to it to Our Wankie, to help ease his gurgly stomach.  When Wankie was about half-way done, the frogs were pointed out to him and he lapsed into a state of projectile vomiting, with half-chewed frog-legs and arms (?) falling from his wet lips.

     With Wankie incapacitated, it seemed logical to steal his car and drive it on the trail where no cars were allowed and where it became stuck on a large boulder, which stuck out of the ground just enough to catch the oil-pan of the old Dodge Dart.  Wankie was not so sick as to not notice this event and so tried to raise himself in protest, at which point, one of his fellow campers urinated on his head!

     As stated, these were mere acquaintances to me.  An act like that is just too cruel for me to endorse or take part in but not to cruel to report in print.  How can you be so heartless, as to piss on a sick kid you just poisoned?  We all laughed when we heard the story but it created a distance between myself and these people.  When we got out of high school, we drifted our different ways…more like I drifted my own way and they all still hung around together, listening to the same outdated music that they post on FB in Youtube clips to this day, boring groups like Genesis or electronic crap that is not even qualified music.

     What got to me most, upon re-engaging these acquaintances, and ending the digression you just read through, was the fact that Wankie was on all their ‘friend’s lists’.   Upon seeing his face peering out at me from the screen, hilarity took over…but when asked why they had ‘friended’ Wankie, these guys first denied it even though it could not be ignored.  He was their Facebook Friend. 

     Even more curious is how Wankie could still be gullible enough for these idiots to convince him that they were once real friends.  How can you friend somebody who has pissed on your skull while you puked?

     So, when you count your friends on here, look at who you are counting and ask yourself what kind of person is this?  With friends like these, who needs enemas?

     Please note that Your Humble Narrator has a stomach virus and cannot take the pills that usually help him write, so upset tummies were all he could think of at press-time…

How About Them Pirates?

     Pictured is the Italian oil tanker, Caylyn, which was hi-jacked on the high seas by Somali pirates the day before they siezed the Greek oil tanker, with its two hundred million dollars worth of crude oil.  Two ships in two days is pretty good.  The Greek tanker,  Mount Irene, was worth a hundred million dollars by itself, even if it were empty, which it wasn’t.

     Hostages are taken and ransoms are paid and the pirates are doing pretty well, for their part.  They are keeping foreign oil from reaching the US and since the Obama people do not want American oil companies to survive, it will just drive prices on fuel oil and gasoline even higher.  Of course, we could produce our own oil in the US but the White House prefers to make the public pay for the high-priced imported stuff.

     There has been talk of miltary action against the pirates but nobody is sure which military from which country should handle this.  It is sort of like which country has the military forces in Afghanistan which allow 95 tons of heroin and 120 tons of opium to slip through Tajikistan each year, according to the United Nations.  The drugs are then trafficked to Russia, where they are processed for worldwide distribution and addiction.  It just makes us wonder how they get it past all those troops we have over there.  Somebody is not keeping watch.

     Anti-drug sentiment has hit fever-pitch in the US but the only way to stop the flow is to stop the customers from wanting the product.  We are a nation of consumers and we were brought up to be such, with subliminal cues used in TV commercials using sex and hidden images to convince us that we want to buy whatever they have to sell us. 

     People at the Mexican border opine that if marijuana were not illegal, then it would not be as easy to ship the hard drugs into the US. The illegality of pot has created a cover for other, much more seriously damaging drugs to hit the market.  Funds from pot sales help with the smuggling.  This could not happen if it were legal, like it was 100 years ago, when wars had endings and we trusted the people we elect.

     So now it is time to watch the pirates and see who’s ship they steal next. Where do they park them, we wonder?