Tag Archives: right wing

Speaking of Stupid Bastards

     Gentle Readers,

     We share with you an email we received from the address of your disaster-in-chief,  Bacarat Obama.  It was obviously sent by a minion while the president went through a book of hymns, looking for songs with the word ‘Hosanna’ in them and replacing it with ‘Obama,’ singing softly under his breath…

    This email arrived in response to some off the cuff insults we threw in his direction during the recent town hall meeting on Facebook, where he deftly dodged most questions posed to him and concentrated on getting himself re-elected.  This has nothing to do with Gov. Cartman but we show his photo because we like stupid bastards.

So here is my message from your president. Just remember, we already told him that he sucks:

Michael —

If it were easy to do the big, meaningful things we believe will make our country better — if it were quick — someone would have done those things long before any of us showed up.

We’ve chosen to do something hard.

You know that our victories so far have been hard won: taking the difficult steps necessary to put our economy back on track, reforming Wall Street excess despite an army of lobbyists against us, and making health care more affordable and accessible despite well-organized opposition by those who profit from the status quo.

You also know we have not yet done everything we set out to do — not nearly.

But that’s a reason to work harder, not to let up. That’s why we’re building this campaign now. And you have to take ownership of it.

So I will be direct: Can you step up and make a donation of $5 to get us started?

https://donate.barackobama.com/Begin-Again

We’ve had the chance to make historic changes that touch every American: from passing a law that says women should get an equal day’s pay for an equal day’s work to removing 100,000 troops from Iraq.

Those things and every other important change we’ve made happened because people like you built an organization to win an election in 2008.

The stakes are even higher this time.

As I’ve spoken with supporters who are helping get this campaign started, I’ve met folks who are frustrated by the pace of change.

I understand that. But we knew this wouldn’t be easy. The kind of change we’re working for never comes easily.

Now is the time to begin again, and build the campaign that will shape our country’s future.

Thank you,

Barack

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On Our 100th Post…Thanks!!!

     Faithful Readers,

     We have reached the milestone of the 100th blog to be posted on this piece of the blogosphere.  We have gone from K2 to YIFFs to granny gets high to the gulf economy to legal medical marijuana in Washington DC to klepto cat to bullies to insults to Ireland to kimchi to devil sex to ugly incidents with former friends to a number of other subjects.

     We would like to take this opportunity to thank you, Beloved Readers, and to share what we think is one of the ‘high points’ of this blog.  Yesterday, we looked at the blogs which people were reading the most and, in so doing, found a section of a blog which we found humorous enough to laugh out loud at.  We will not reprint the whole blog but will simply pull one paragraph, one which relates to the gulf cluster**** caused by Obama.

     This is not high art, high writing, nor the result of being high.  It just strikes us as funny and so we repeat it and pat ourselves on the back for having the perseverance to come up with about 95 out of 100 fresh new blogs.  This is the favorite passage of the Amusing Scribe, from our post of 12/10/10:

     Another good move by this jackass has been his deliberate shut-off of opportunity to the wounded unfortunates in the Gulf of Mexico – on the American side…the Mexicans are making billions of dollars in marijuana revenue. Our Fearless (with our money) Leader, in the days after the BP oil fountain became the biggest aquatic attraction since Gov. Cartman, Chris Christie (R-NJ) got his fat ass caught in the gubernatorial bathtub and had to be evacuated by being saturated in butter and pried out with a couple of lifeboat oars that were handily available. He decided to shut down all oil production by American companies in the Gulf.

      Thanks for reading and for your continued support!!!

      The ‘Gang’ at CFYSA.

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A Little Slice Of Real Life Featuring Alpha Male

      Loyal Readers,

      As yesterday was National Womans Day,  we present this little slice of life which unfolded one day back around 1980.  It goes to show that, when there is a writer around, even the most insignificant of conversations can be kicked around for years or dug out of the cold grave of memory (or in this case, the notebooks of Your Humble Narrator).

     This involved roommates that once shared domicile with us, back when we could still stand the thought of sharing space with virtual strangers in order to save a buck.  All of us knew each other but not too well.  Becky had the lease, so it was her apartment technically.  Steve was mainly on the mooch and was always trying to convert Becky into a Rainbow Vacuum Cleaner Salesperson – the end of the food chain for jobseekers.

     Let’s look…

     Becky sat on the lumpy sofa with three cats, Steve and his wife.

     “How was your day,” asked Steve?

     “It sucked like Hell,” replied Becky.

     “Why is that,” quizzled Steve?  He liked to ask questions because he always had the answer before he even asked.

     Becky recounted the events of her long, fruitless day.  She related how she was victimized at her job and how she was constantly the victim of the inconsiderations of others.  Becky was a loser, more or less, but had a big heart.  People did take advantage of her, especially at work.

     “Complain to your supervisor,” Steve counseled, as he was his wont to do.

     “If that doesn’t work,” the advisor continued, “Go higher!  Keep going higher and higher!  Go as high as you have to go to get results!  Thats is how to do it!”

     Becky knotted her eyebrows together and scratched the back of her head with a pencil.  “Do you mean, ” she countered, “That I should go to the President of the United States about my job as an assistant cook at a fast food chain?”

     “Of course!  Think positive!,” advised the Knowing One.  “In fact, once I didn’t get my paycheck and I kept complaining.  Finally, the damn thing was three weeks late so I called the White House and left a message for the President…a couple days later – I had my check! How about that?”

     He turned to Carol, his long-suffering wife. “Didn’t I call the White House,” he asked her?  “Yes,” she replied softly in a voice that sounded beaten down from too much agreeing.

     “Wow,” thought Becky, in her open-minded way,  “This guy is intense!”

                                                                ~                        ~                          ~

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Hillary Says Money Too Good, Too Much To Stop Drug War

     Informed Readers, please do not be alarmed.  That is not some crazed loon leering at you from the left of the page – that is your Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton, former mind control victim and ‘Grand Dame’ of the Illuminati, who run the CIA and all other covert operations in these, what used to be your United States.

     Recently, Hillary was quoted in the Mexican press when she gave an interview on the subject of why the US cannot win the drug war it is waging against an unseen (or maybe not so unseen) black market because “there is just too much money in it.”

     That is about all she has to say. Too much money. It is true that if the drug companies did not spend so much money lobbying to stop the flow of a weed which could take a large percentage of profits out of their coffers, there would probably be no war on drugs.  At the time it was made illegal, marijuana was the second-most prescribed source of relief from various maladies in the US.  That does not bode well for drug companies or the people who siffon cash out of them in the guise of business.

     Hillary should know. She had a first row seat to the Clinton-Bush cocaine monopoly and has been a player in the ‘good politician/bad politician’ game.  This game is the one where we have a president who acts like an idiot for eight years, while screwing us all very deviously and non-idiotically from behind.  He is the bad pol…the one who is dumb, cannot find the right words, generally unliked. Hillary is the good one…trained to be well-spoken, seemingly witty, admired for staying with her delinquent hubby…and she only left one corpse unaccounted for, the one of her buddy who was found dead in the state park.

     Like the people involved with the JFK assassination, a lot of people who shine a light on the Clinton-Bush crime family, seem to disappear or end up dead under suspicious circumstances.  Just Google her name and ‘mind control’ and you get a screen-full of pages detailing the long, strange trip from Arkansas, where the Clintons’ could not even afford a house of their own.  The White House was their starter home.  It is said that Hillary and Ronald Reagan both shared the same sex slave.  Hillary is involved in the programming of such people.  They are usually kidnapped at youth and end up on milk bottles.

     One famous mind control school graduate was John Hinckley Jr., the guy who shot Reagan when he was in office, ending a streak of presidents-in-office dying every 20 years, from William Henry Harrison in 1841 to JFK in 1963. During those years, every president to be elected on the 20th year died in office.  Reagan did not.  It is also of interest to note that Hinckley was the son of a close associate of George Bush Sr., who was director of the CIA and ran the country while Reagan dithered around on the edges of mental illness.  The murders and assassination performed by such slaves are normally caused by brainwashing techniques used on children and perpetuated by clues given in open media.

     All that aside, it was William S. Burroughs, speaking as Father Tom in the movie Drugstore Cowboy, who said,  I predict in the near future right-wingers will use drug hysteria as a pretext to set up an international police apparatus. That movie was released in 1989 but whoever wrote that line saw the whole thing very clearly.

      When we look around today and become confused at how wrong things are or when we try to make sense of why the world is coming apart at the seams, it is good to look behind the curtain, like in The Wizard of Oz, which is a tale used by the CIA to strengthen mind control ‘cues’ in children watching.  There is a specific form of programming called Wizard of Oz programming and certain Disney properties figure into it prominently, as well.

     Now, why would anybody want to control us all and keep all the money while we suffer, wonder and look to the sky?  The money is too good to refuse, like Hillary says.

     One big division of the mind control program (once known as MK ULTRA but now known as ‘Marathon’), is given the duty of making people who bring these facts to light appear insane, by using various harrassment techniques – most of which are designed to make the person pointing fingers seem agitated or ‘a little off’ and thereby lessening the chances anyone will pay attention. “What the hell is this whackjob going on about now?” This is the question that they want to hang over anybody who can see the infrastructure of the Marathon Program.

     If this is fiction, conspiracy-theory, loose talk, a lot of woo-haa…then why can you find President William Clinton on Youtube, publicly apologizing for harm done under the program.  Do not take our word for it. Look it up yourself.  Read about the CIA Mind Control program by itself; then, add Hillary to the search term and you will be surprised and titillated by what you may find.  You can find documented accounts of her using a sex slave in the White House, you can find news about the tortured corpse of an ex-CIA agent who went public about the Bush-Clinton cocaine connection.

     Do not take our word for it. Look for yourself. That is the best way to learn.

     This brings to mind all of the research that Allen Ginsberg did on the CIA-Contra cocaine smuggling controversy, back in the 1970s.  The CIA built itself to its pinnacle of power by shipping drugs back through channels from Cambodia and hooking the american public on cocaine, just to make a buck. Who was in charge of the CIA then? Bush Sr., of course.  There again – look for yourself…you can’t make this kind of stuff up. It is too complex.  In a future blog, we will look and see what Ginsberg found out in all his studies on this abhorent subject.

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New K2 News…Still Legal In Pennsylvania…

     Big, ugly Rep. Jennifer Mann today introduced legislation in Harrisburg, state capitol of Pennsylvania, to ban the use of K2, Spice and other synthetic cannabis products.  BTW, she is much older and heavier now than in the photo she uses on her website.  This photo is what she thinks she looks like and, even on a good day, she is still ugly on the inside.

     This action indicates that these things are still legal and there is no law against using them.  Look at the facts and do not let the press and media tell you what to do.  If they have to try to pass a law against it, like today, it shows that the action taken last year, HB176, was a failure.  Look at the facts.  There is no current law against JWH, K2 or any of the synthetic THC products in Pennsylvania, even though the news has been telling you different since November 23, 2010.  We repeat…LEGAL IN PENNSYLVANIA UNTIL BANNED.

     It is amazing how people believe anything they are told.  If you want the truth, you have to look for it, not wait for it to come conveniently packaged like Mr. Nice Guy Strawberry, whom I miss very much and may have to go look for again…

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Obama Blames American Oil For Egyptian Molotov Cocktails

     You have to give it to the Egyptians for their use of symbolism in choice of weaponry.  Hurling flaming bottles of gasoline in a part of the world that has been unstable for decades, due to economies that depend on the oil sucked out of the sandy countryside, is an excellent way to express discontent and make a flashy statement in one toss.

     Gasoline producing companies in the USA need to bear the brunt of the blame since we are the major guzzlers of the stuff on the planet.  We just have to drive all these SUVs, don’t we?  Just like we have violence on our Mexican border fueled by our evil love of a lowly weed, we fill those glass bottles with the accelerant of commerce because of our greedy driving habits.  We are the consumers of world violence and we fund the firebombs.

     Does Obama really blame American Oil?  No, but he may as well. Sitting on his hands while the people in the Gulf who make a living, in and on the periphery of the petroleum industry, suffer with no jobs, no food, no homes and no lives is almost as good as an indictment of these poor people. 

     What has the administration done to help the people of the Gulf Coast? Really?

     A while back,  a local news story told the tale of a tractor-trailer, loaded with ice and bound for the citizens displaced by Katrina.  When the truck arrived at the Gulf, there was so much confusion that nobody knew where the ice went.  The driver, naturally kept it frozen for two years by keeping his engine running on foreign diesel fuel. 

     He drove it around the country and when he could no longer get paid for his effort, he let it melt and emptied his load into a Pennsylvania landfill.  Imagine how much fuel it took to keep that ice from melting, to drive it from the Gulf to Pennsylvania, to idle while the driver ate and slept; then imagine the cost per gallon of diesel.  This really has nothing to do with the article here, except to show how your money is wasted by your elected officials while the needy shiver and stomachs growl.

     How many meals could have been bought for the homeless with the cash spent on fuel to drive bags of ice around the country?  How long will the people of the Gulf remain displaced?  How long until America starts to produce it’s own fuel again so that WE can make a profit, as opposed to Them?

     How long until the President acts like he cares about the people he was so eager to serve?  The campaigning starts in about six months – then you will see some empathy and concern…sure, you will.

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Ouchhy…I Need A Morphine

     Gentle Readers, many people make disparaging comments about the opiates. They are the drug that pot is the gateway to – even though there are 100 times as many pot users as there are heroin addicts. The point is, there IS NO gateway drug.

     After the accident on Wednesday, in the freezing rain, the usual paperwork and insurance covering ensued. Part of the process was loading the car onto a tow truck, since it could not be driven with the driver’s side window blacked out.

     In process of preparing the car for the tow, Your Humble Narrator backed out the passenger side door of his trusty automobile and, forgetting he was four feet off the ground on the bed of a tow truck, tripped over a six-inch lip that borders the truck bed and took a tumble four feet to the asphalt and ice below. Ever spry at 53 years, I popped right back up before a single, mean neighbor had a chance to laugh at my mishap.

     I must have landed like Spiderman, judging from the bruises on my fingertips and the small amounts of blood coming from beneath my freshly-trimmed fingernails. Obviously, the fall was broken by my quick thinking and my right side took the brunt of my weight crashing to Earth.

     While we enjoy abusing the substances as much as possible, we are using some precious Roxanol brand morphine to help the battered body deal with the pain. It is rather hard to type too much and so this is one of the shortest blogs you may see from CFYSA. We had it stored for mellow evenings, lackadaisically dropping the blue pills and washing them down with the thick, black Guinness. Today, the use is forced-therapeutic, and a waste of a good morphine sleep.

     Thank goodness the blog goes on, but there will be changes in days to come. We will still be CFYSA but we will no longer be writing The K2 Khronickles, as that drug is no longer available and we will explain in full once healing has proceeded a bit further.

     We have an ouchhy and we need our morphine and valium and…well, you know!

                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     By the by…the newest issue of Beatdom is about to hit the stands! The artwork is brilliant!  The writing is top-notch, as to be expected. The subject of the issue is SEX.

     Watch for more Beatdom news soon!

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State of the Nation…Will His Nibs Continue to Screw American Oil Companies?

     Gentle Readers,

     Last night, we watched the Asian news, which is really today’s news, broadcast twelve hours ahead of time. This type of news from Asia is of the financial nature and deals with what is happening with the world markets at that hour, like CNBC and Bloomberg Business news do during the day in America.

     We could not help but notice how so many foreign nations are having record-breaking outputs of crude oil in recent months. The statistics are staggering. We all should be staggered, since the Gladhander-In-Chief will not allow America to make any money on oil. This in the middle of a so called, media-driven economic crisis.

     Why does America buy oil from other countries when we have oil companies right here that are all bollocksed up in the barbedwire of the Obama Doctrine. We have oil. We could make money and charge taxes and put people to work and help the economy, sort of like we could with marijuana. In fact, it is ironic that the pot advocates often note how oil can be made from the marijuana plant, which is why the big oil companies pay your elected officials to vote against legalizing it.

     Doesn’t anybody in government want their own country to start making profits on something?

      Your Humble Narrator does not have much more to say on the subject now but it is something we hope to comment on tomorrow. In the meantime, we are wondering if he is going to use his patented ‘black preacher’s voice’ tonight, as he often does in emotional situations. I think that voice is very manipulative and am amazed he does not have comedians doing stand-up about it…but that would sound racist.

     Let’s see how bad we get screwed again tonight. The show never ends!

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In the Poetry Corner With the Metal Machines

     Brilliant Readers,

     We were happily surprised that our last blog from the Beat CookieJar went over so well! We had been trying to think of new subjects, like K2, which would cause a stir but were happy to see that a bit of poetry gets more readers than a rant about our less-than-stellar form of government. The last poem got more views than anything we posted since the one about Obama getting the shotgun blast to the face.

     You may wonder what iambic pentameter is doing in the Beat jar but Allen Ginsberg told me I had a gift for the rhyme and that a lot of my poems would make very good song lyrics. It is on record in the Ginsberg Archives, if you care to see. Ginsberg, himself, had taken an interest in songwriting and rhyming meters at the time, which was during the heady ‘Punk’ days of the mid-1970s.

     All of my poems are open to interpretation since I will never explain them, so take it as you will and this one is titled, Metal Machines.

                                

                                    The metal machines move, mashing,

                                    gleaming, reaming blades all gnashing

                                     – a million daggers slashing,

                                     slicing, tearing, digging, thrashing –

                                     and chains that strike home smashing.

                                      like a billion forearms bashing;

                                      the victim stands alone.

                                      The victim’s skin flies, splashing,

                                       his life before him, passing –

                                       – before his eyes all flashing –

                                       like a flaming film impassioned,

                                       while the machine keeps fiercely crashing

                                       through the skull and finally smashing

                                       dead, bruised skin and splintered bone.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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One From the Poetry Corner

     Gentle Readers,

     As much as we like to complain about the world, give advice, rib the politicians and insult as many people as possible while holding you, Dearest Readers, in the most humble regards, today we put aside the vitriol and dig into the Beat CookieJar to come up with a poem by Michael Hendrick, which is called, simply, Spider.

     We hope you enjoy it.

                                   There is a spider in my bathroom.

                                    I watch him from the toilet.

                                    He has webbed the radiator

                                    but I wouldn’t want to spoil it.

                                    So I roll a ball of tissue,

                                    barely bigger than a fly,

                                    then flick it into the gossamers

                                     just to fool the little guy.

                                     He rushes to the decoy,

                                     hanging from his silky thread

                                     but then he hears me laughing

                                     and shakes his fuzzy head.

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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